Love like Pandora's box

Chapter 45.

The next day Yibo moved out of the house, and Zhan did not stop him, although he wanted to but didn't.

Luhan was sent to school and once Yibo was gone, Zhan went to his office.

Things were quiet for a while; the lawsuit was final, his uncle and aunt did try to make trouble for him, but he was not going back and in the end, his uncle and aunt also hired the lawyers, and the first date of hearing had arrived.

On the other hand, Yibo had finally applied for jobs and given a few interviews before he finally got a job, and to say that he was happy was an understatement. He was happy as hell.

The pay was good as well, and the new place was welcoming. Other than that, he was also in constant touch with Luhan and thankfully, Zhan never really interfered with that.

Things were quiet for a while.

Zhan took a deep breath as he knocked on the door. Before he walked inside the room, a woman sitting on her office chair gave him a warm smile and said, "Welcome, Mr. Xiao. My name is Meng Ziyi. Nice to meet you."

Zhan smiled as he shook hands with Ziyi, "Nice to meet you too, doc."

"Have a seat please."

"Thank you," Zhan said as he sat before Ziyi.

Once they were seated, Ziyi spoke, "So... how have you been?"

"Fine, I guess."

"I would like you to say that you should relax Mr. Xiao, because everything that you say in this room are going to be confidential, as your therapist, I will do my best to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Since this is your first appointment, take it easy."

Zhan gave her a small smile, which was forced, He had taken this step and finally came to meet her but he felt rather nervous because he had never done this. "So... how do we start?"

"From the start." Ziyi said, "I am here to listen; in this space, you will talk and I will listen; no judgments, no interruptions."

Zhan rubbed his palms together before he thought about what to say. From where should he start, he felt awkward and rather nervous, and he still didn't dare to look at Ziyi.

Zhan was by no means shy, but he had never talked about himself or his feelings before to anyone face-to-face. He was nervous, as he thought that Ziyi might laugh at him or might not be able to understand.

Thousands of thoughts came to his mind, and he started to overthink again.

"Mr. Xiao, don't let your mind wander." Ziyi brought him back to reality. Zhan sighed as he took a deep breath and said, "I have no idea what to say. It's hard..."

"Okay, then let me ask you a question. Tell me what inspired you to come here, what inspired you to take therapy."

Zhan thought about it and said, "I... made some hasty decisions; the decisions could have been implemented in a better way; I acted hastily and ended up hurting a person that I... a person with whom I wanted to be on good terms.

I have a son now. And I am scared that I might unintentionally hurt him too."

"I see." Ziyi spoke, "Was this person that you hurt your lover?"

"No, he wasn't my lover."

"Family?"

"No"

"Oh, then?"

"A friend, with whom I was once deeply involved."

"Why do you think that you hurt them?"

"I called them a lot of harsh words; I mean a lot. I was at my worst behavior, and I took something very precious from them."

"I see."

And just like that, Zhan's appointments continued. Ziyi was an amazing person; she let Zhan feel at ease and slowly probed into his mind.

On their fourth appointment, Zhan told her about his childhood, and on the fifth the entire story with Yibo, and Ziyi was attentive.

Zhan spoke, "I am not proud of how I behaved; while Luhan was my child and eventually I would have had his custody, I just think that I should have taken a more soft approach; the methods which I used were over the top, and now I sort of regret doing that."

Ziyi nodded. "Do you remember what exactly was going on in your mind at that point? Did you feel threatened?"

"Well, my company was under threat."

"And the person you wanted to get lose to was sheltering the person who was a threat to you, not just that your son was also in the company of the person who you thought was a threat."

"Yes. I guess I was a little scared, I mean I wanted to talk to Yibo and tell him that Luhan was my son and take things slowly, but when I saw Sarah there, I thought that she was going to take my son away from me. Both of them might be cooperating with each other to harm my company, and if I told them, then they might poison my son against me.

In the end, it was a close family relative who was leaking the information." Zhan then smiled bitterly and said, "It is always the one closest to us."

Ziyi nodded. "Well, Mr. Zhan, your situation is very complicated, but I am so happy that you took a step toward healing."

"Thanks, doctor, so did you reach a conclusion about my mental state?"

Ziyi looked at her notepad and said, "I think I would need a few more appointments, but from what I have gathered, Mr. Xiao, you have a lot of unresolved trauma and a lot of suppressed trauma caused by severe neglect and the medical abuse done by your parents. From what you have said to me, the only emotional attachment you have ever felt was with two people: your grandma and second was Yibo, and now your son Luhan.

I guess since you were once so deeply attached to Mr. Wang and experienced such intense feelings towards him after such a long time of neglect you never thought that he would do anything to harm you or he would ever do anything wrong. You must think that, just like your grandma, Mr. Wang cared and loved you a lot, and he would never leave you. Maybe this is why it hurt you so much that you developed trust issues, and besides, other than Mr. Wang, you had no one else to go to; for you, Mr. Wang was your safe place.

And you hated the person who took away your safe place, which was Mr. Wang himself.

But you failed to consider that he was just a human like everyone else; he was a child at that point, and he did what he thought was right at that moment, just like you thought what you did was right when you went to take your son."

Zhan felt his palms go sweaty. "I know; I now know his condition, but it's hard to forget."

Ziy spoke, "Mr. Xiao, I will ask you a question; it might be uncomfortable for you, but please bear with me. From what I know, back then, Mr. Wang had his sister, whom he dearly loved, and you and his sister were precious to him while you had no one.

Now think about Mr. Wang, and then think about someone who is very, very, or equally precious to you. If tomorrow you would have to save one of them, either Mr. Wang or that precious person or thing, from drowning, then who would you choose?"

Zhan thought about it for a while. The only person who was very close to him now was Luhan. If tomorrow he would have to choose between Yibo and Luhan, then it was obvious he would have his child first.

Zhan closed his eyes and sighed. "I get what you mean, doc."

Ziyi nodded. "Now for your diagnosis, Mr. Xiao, because of the environment that you have been in, I think you might have paranoid personality disorder."

Author's note: I have just used Luhan as an example because Zhan literally has no one else he has been deeply attached to; yes, he was attached to his grandma, but she is already dead.