Love after Life

The Past

Angie and I agreed to meet up at the gym on Friday afternoon. I'll be honest; I was quite excited for it! I couldn't even remember the last time I was so excited for something! On Thursday I decided to prepare myself for my 'hot date' with Angie by digging into the closet to see if I still had my old gym clothes.

I opened up the closet and knelt down, taking out a box of my old things from High School. I smiled as the memories came flooding to my brain...

"...and this year's Arbordale High Oratory Contest champ is," said our principal, Carl Haggen. "Christine Duncan!"

I got up on stage, waving to my fellow students as I proudly received my hard earned trophy.

"And now, we will hear the winning speech," said Principal Haggen.

I stepped up to the podium; I didn't need a paper, because I had the whole speech memorized.

"Although the events that occurred last September are an unspeakable tragedy," I began. "There is an alarming growth rate of Islamophobia across the United States of America..."

I sighed to myself. That was the past, Chrissy. Let it go. I opened up the box, hoping to find my gym shorts, maybe a tank top or something. The first thing I found, however, was my old journal. I giggled; this was my dream journal, where I wrote about all the dreams and ambitions I had.

Better not open it...

I took out another memory; my letter of recommendation to college, signed by my favorite teacher, Mr. O'Reilly. O'Reilly was a FANTASTIC English teacher, and he saw in me a LOT of potential! I remember it like it was yesterday...

"Christine," said Mr. O'Reilly. "Your latest essay broke my heart into a thousand pieces. You have so much potential to become a great writer!"

"You know that's something I'd like to do?" I asked, smiling. "I'd like to be something like an investigative journalist!"

"I know this college course that can DEFINITELY help you with that!" He said. "I'll write you up a letter of recommendation!"

Huh, tears. Gotta stop looking through these mementos; they bring me nothing but pain. In any case, my shorts aren't here. I'll try the other box that I keep next to this one.

As soon as I opened it, I smiled. There they were, my shorts! I took'em out and unfolded them. Suddenly I noticed a letter fall out of the left pocket. I picked it up and looked it over; it was an old love letter I wrote to Tony back when we were in twelfth grade. Heh, what's a trip down memory lane?

For Tony, not the only man I've ever loved, but the only man I ever will love:

Oh my, I had a way with words when I was a kid.

The past five years have been nothing but joyous for me. From the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew we were meant to be together. When you asked me out, my heart skipped a thousand beats. You have made me the happiest girl in the world. And I want you to know, you've blessed me with a little one who's growing inside of me as I write this.

I wrote this when I first found out I was pregnant with Shawna. Heh, Mom had a FIT when she found out! But with time she got over it, and now she adores Shawna as much as she loved me growing up. And Kyle, too!

I had Shawna just about a month before my eighteenth birthday. Luckily I was able to graduate from High School, no problem. Well, OK, Graduation Day was the day Shawna was born, and in fact my water broke shortly before the ceremony ended, but hey! I graduated High School!

Tony immediately took responsibility and asked me to marry him. We got married a few days after I turned eighteen. It was a small wedding, VERY small. His family refused to attend; they still don't talk to us. But Cousin Gabe came, and he brought that gorgeous redhead he was very into.

I shook off my thoughts and put on my old gym shorts. Heh, two babies later, and I still fit in'em! I couldn't wait to show Tony!

That evening...

"Oh Toooonyyy," I coyly called out from our bathroom, sauntering into the bedroom as I wore my old gym shorts, a bra, and nothing else. "Guess what?"

"Not tonight, Chrissy," Tony said as he put aside his glasses. "I've spent ten hours coding today, and I have another eight hours of coding tomorrow. Good night."

Oh. Oh wow. Huh...

...not the reaction I was hoping for...

"It's just that tomorrow I'm meeting a friend at the gym," I began as I took off my shorts and began to put on my PJ's. "I had hoped my old shorts still fit, and they do."

"OK," said Tony, not looking at me or anything.

"I'm pretty happy with myself today," I said as I got into bed. "I can still fit into my old high school clothes."

"OK," he said, yawning.

And then the snoring began. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for a while. Never in my life had I felt so undesirable as in that moment. I mean, yeah I'm not the spry teenager Tony fell in love with back then, and I'll admit I may have gained some weight these past fifteen years, and maybe I haven't aged gracefully or anything...

Maybe I'm not worth desiring or something...

It was nearly midnight when I got back up and made my way to the bathroom to look myself in the mirror. I checked my face to see if I had any wrinkles or anything; I had a few lines here or there, I'll admit it. The blush I used to have when I was a teen was long gone, so my face was paler than it was back then.

I checked my hair to see if it was already graying. I'm a platinum blonde, so it's hard for me to tell if I was graying already or not. It's very likely I already was, though.

Next, I took off my shirt. I pinched my belly and saw there was a bit of fat in it. I checked my boobs to see if they were already sagging; not yet, but pretty damn soon, I think.

Huh, I'm getting old. And fat. Ugly, too. Is it any wonder Tony doesn't want me anymore?