Love after Life

Regrets

When I was five years old, I experienced regret for the first time. I had a goldfish named Goldie, that I'd keep in a bowl. One day I left the bowl on the window sill, and a cat came in and ate Goldie. At first I blamed the cat, but Mom made it clear that I was the one to blame for putting Goldie in harm's way. I never had a pet after that, because the regret I felt for letting Goldie die was too great.

And that was my life; living in a way so as to avoid more regrets. I focused on my studies, and even when I began dating Tony at age 12, I let him know that I was hoping to wait for marriage. He understood, and for five years we were a loving, but chaste, couple. Then, one night, our passions got the best of us; we were alone in his car, and one kiss became a make out session, which eventually led to him having my virginity, and I his. A month later, I discovered I was pregnant with Shawna.

I LOVE my daughter, OK? I do not, never have, and never will regret having her. I just wish I had her a little later, know what I mean? I had ambitions, goals, POTENTIAL! I wanted to be a journalist, to travel the world and write about what I saw. Tony wanted to be an athlete, and he had a baseball scholarship in the bag. Both of those dreams ended with a positive pregnancy test.

Two regrets, one small, one huge. A lost pet, and a lost future. And as I stood in Angie's living room, temptation calling to us both, I had the chance for a third major regret. I could either lose out on this one time opportunity, or I could risk my family. I could be bad, or I could be good.

"Angie," I smiled at her. "The thought never crossed my mind; I trust you fully."

She smiled at me back, and prepared a delicious dinner for us both. In the end, I chose to be good. But as Angie drove me back home, there was this inescapable feeling of "you made the wrong choice." I don't know if Angie and I would ever have that opportunity again. I don't know when Angie would eventually lose interest in me. But I KNOW she will...

"Can I be honest?" She whispered as she parked in front of my house. "A part of me is glad you... you know. I mean, that coulda gotten messy..."

"I know," I said, sighing. Then I smiled at her. "You have nothing to feel guilty about; I thought about it, too."

A silence fell between us for a moment.

"And hey," I said as I caressed her hand. "We'll always have that hot Sunday morning."

"Yup," she grinned at me. "If you ever wanna do another of that, I'm game."

"Me too," I said, winking at her.

"What does that make us?" She asked. "Best friends?"

"Who sometimes fuck on the webcam," I said, giving her a kissing motion, which she returned. "I should get going now; staying here might give me ideas."

"I get it," she said. "Chat you up later?"

"Maybe tonight," I said in a sultry voice.

Yeah, it's bad, but it's not AS bad as what we wanted to do this afternoon!

As soon as I entered my home, I noticed everyone was still doing their thing. Tony was still on his laptop, Kyle with his Nintendo, and Shawna on her phone. No one greeted me, no one even noticed I was gone. Oh well...

Much later that night...

I crawled out of bed, headed to the bathroom, and locked the door. I took my tablet with me, grinning. Angie was up late, YES!!! I greeted her.

"Video chat?" I asked. Immediately we start video chatting, and I noticed the camera was focused above her torso, on her face. She had a grin. "Guess what?"

"What?" She asked.

"I'm not wearing any underwear," I whispered.

"Me either," she grinned, lowering her camera to reveal her nude form.

"Time to make it fair," I said as I removed my nightie. "So-"

NO HORNY! The horny is not allowed!

After our session, Angie and I bid goodbye and goodnight. I got dressed again, turned off my tablet, and went back to bed to charge it. Tony was still asleep, so I gently climbed into bed next to him. I felt no guilt at what I had done; in fact, I felt GOOD about it. I got my kicks, and Tony got to sleep.

There was no doubt about it, however; Angie and I were having an affair. A cyber affair, mind you, but still an affair just the same. That's bad.

I could have been good today and ended everything. But deep down I knew, losing Angie would hurt me far, far more than I'd like. I love Tony; he's my one and only, the father of my children, my husband. But Angie, she makes me feel so awesome, so ALIVE! Angie makes me feel like the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world. Which is bullshit, because SHE'S the most beautiful woman ever! And the kindest, and the most understanding; and she's one heck of a cook, too!

What did I regret at that moment as I laid in bed next to the husband I was cheating on? I felt surprised at myself when I realized I didn't regret pretty much cuckolding him with Angie via my tablet literally a few feet away from him. What I regretted were the hundreds of nights where I begged from the bottom of my soul for just ONE SECOND of his attention, only to be met with a snore or a "leave me alone, I'm tired..." I regretted the money wasted on lingerie, the beauty treatments he never noticed.

The thought came to me like a flash: "I wish we'd never met." I instantly regretted thinking that, because he is STILL the father of my children. My wonderful children, whom I'd give my LIFE for! Never have I regretted a thought like that one. I legit cried.