Love after Life

Through a child's eyes

Uhhh, how about we hear from the kids, see how they're doing? Shawna, take it away!

Dad won't say it, but I know Mom's been cheating on him. I'd suspected it since that day we saw that superhero movie with Uncle Gabe; the way Mom blushed like crazy as she talked to that woman, the way she hung onto every word. It was gross, and it was creepy. I didn't say it, but I was very creeped out by what happened, and I actually spent that whole weekend thinking about it. What if Mom was really a lesbian, and she's only with Dad because of me?

Mom and Dad never say it, but I know they only married each other because Mom was pregnant with me when they were teens. I'm not dumb, OK? My parents have been married for fourteen years, Dad turned thirty three in March while Mom turns thirty three in July, and I'm fourteen. My birthday is one month before hers, and Mom and Dad's anniversary is a few days after her birthday. I was born before my parents got married, and they got married when they were both eighteen. I did the math...

It's my fault Mom and Dad are married. And one thing I know, which neither is willing to admit, is that they're both just plain MISERABLE. Dad always throws himself at his job, from the moment he wakes up, to the moment he goes to sleep. One time, I caught him in the car, CRYING! I'd never seen him cry before, but when he saw me, he tried to pretend he wasn't crying! And Mom? Well, when she has time for herself, all she does is watch Netflix in bed. It's like she has no life outside of us.

Know what, though? I don't want Mom and Dad to get divorced. The idea scares me because I know that, if they get divorced, neither would keep Kyle and me. And even if one of them did keep Kyle, neither would want to keep ME specifically. Why would they keep me? I was the mistake, the accident...

On that Monday, one week ago, it finally happened. When Dad told me Uncle Gabe had come to hang out with us, I knew it was going down. I wanted to stay, but I knew neither would let me, so I took Kyle and went to Uncle Gabe, who was waiting in his car for us. We got in and drove around town for a bit, with him trying to talk to us about whatever baloney he felt like. Only Kyle talked with him, though; I was quiet.

When we got back home and Kyle got out of the car, I turned to Uncle Gabe and asked, "Uncle Gabe, did Mom cheat on Dad?"

It was that hesitation that confirmed to me what I suspected. The way Mom blushed around that woman, the way she so dreamily uttered the name Angie as she slept; she was cheating on Dad! I didn't wait for him to answer me, to lie to me; I just got out, said goodbye, and went back home.

Mom was gone by then. Dad tried to lie to us, tell us how Mom had to take care of Nona for a bit, but I knew he was lying. I didn't say anything, though. The next day, Mom called us to make sure we were OK. Kyle didn't suspect anything was wrong, but I knew better.

"Dad?" I said one night, as Dad typed away at his laptop. "When's Mom coming home?"

"Soon," he replied, not even looking up from his laptop.

"How soon?" I asked again.

"Soon, OK!?" Dad snapped, slamming his fists onto the table. "She's busy! If she comes back at all, it'll be soon!"

I felt the tears sting in my eyes. He kicked her out, I knew it. Then, I opened up my big mouth.

"Did she cheat on you?"

"What the HELL is with these questions, huh!?" Dad angrily asked, turning to me. He looked REALLY scary! "Your mother's not coming back, alright!? So stop PESTERING me, and-"

I was scared, so I backed off. I think I was also starting to cry; by then, Dad softened up a bit.

"Honey, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm under a lot of stress, and everything's going wrong for me; I'm just-"

"I hate you," I whispered to him, running up to my room and locking the door.

"Shawna, please, let's talk about this," I could hear Dad knocking at my door. "It's... look, your Mom and I, we're... it's just a rough spot, OK? Things will be better, I promise!"

That was a lie. Mom and Dad always lie! They never tell me the truth!

Dad gave up after half an hour. By that time, I had decided to just run away from home. I mean, why stay? Mom and Dad hate me, I know it. They blame ME for being forced to marry each other, and they blame ME for giving up on their dreams to raise me. They regret having me, I know it. Why wouldn't they? I see it in their eyes every day, how miserable they are. I can feel it, deep in my heart, that they wish they'd given me up for adoption, or aborted me...

OKAYYYYYY, that was... Kyle, your turn!

Mom's been gone for a week. She told me she did something bad, and it can't be fixed with saying sorry. I don't know what she did, but Dad's been pretty sad lately. Shawna's been sad, too. Everyone here is sad. I can't play Counter Strike or Call of Duty anymore. I'm sad because everyone is sad.

I want Mom back. I want everything to be OK again. Nothing is OK at home anymore...

It was eight in the morning; Dad was working, and I was bored. I didn't wanna play games, though. I just wanted to talk to Shawna. But when I opened her door, I found she wasn't in her room. I tried calling her phone, but she left it on her drawer. I picked it up; she had a message written on it.

I ran away.

"DAAAAAD!!!"