Love after Life

Post-horny

You ever face yourself at the edge of doing something really stupid, but your brain's all "nooo, go ahead and DO IT!" So you do it, and for a while everything feels great and wonderful and life's just so FANTASTIC! Then the high's over, and all you're left with is that feeling of "what in the actual fuck did I do?" And after a little while, that feeling stews over and becomes "the hell I do that dumb crap for!?"

Yup, that's me. I woke up at 7 AM, an hour earlier than the rest of my family, so I could start getting ready to make them breakfast. As soon as I entered the bathroom, the memory of what I did earlier that morning flooded into my brain, and I was all "oh wow, I did that. I did that. Dammit."

I traded underwear pictures with Angie, and legit told her I wanted her to think about me as she pleasured herself. Uh oh. Hooo boy, I screwed up BADLY. I rushed back to the bedroom and grabbed my phone, fully intending to delete that chat with her. But then, I felt a tingle down there. Before I knew it, I was locking myself in the bathroom again, opening up that chat, and scrolling down to her picture...

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts (which were indecent) and deleted EVERYTHING from that conversation. Then I proceeded to take my quick shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed for the day. After that, I made everyone breakfast: fresh, home made waffles. As I watched my family scarf down the food I made for them with love, I couldn't help but have my mind wander to last night...

Shoot, thank God Angie had the sense to put a stop to that when she did, because I may well have turned that into a sexting session! What was with me, anyway!? I mean, sure, Tony and I haven't made love in a while, but I'm not THAT touch starved, right?

As soon as everyone finished their breakfast, we all went our separate ways. Shawna left for the mall, Kyle went back upstairs to his Nintendo, and Tony grabbed his laptop and started working again. For my part, I went up to the room Tony and I share, grabbed the tablet, and began watching Netflix. That's pretty much all I do in my free time: hole myself up, watch TV until the time comes for me to feed my family again, rinse and repeat. Sometimes I break the monotony by going grocery shopping, and of course I work during the week.

I bet Angie would roll her eyes at that. I'll bet she never gets bored because she's so driven. Know what? I'm willing to bet she's at the park RIGHT NOW, running five miles as a warm-up for a day of working out and keeping her buff, sexy self!

Did I really just think that? What is WRONG with me!?

Just then, I received a text message from Angie. It read "Can we meet up? I think there's something we need to discuss."

I groaned; she was gonna end our friendship, I just knew it! Not that it would be wrong of her to do that; I did cross a line, after all...

We met up at the park. We sat on a bench, a few inches apart because, well, I crossed a line. God, what I'd do to take it all back!

"You doing OK?" She asked me.

"Well," I gulped. "No, I feel horrible about last night. I wrote something stupid, and-"

"Listen, I get it," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You're confused, am I right?"

"About?" I asked.

"You had a sexy dream featuring Cindy Landolt," she said, giggling. "So I take it you're panicking because you KNOW you're straight, right?"

"W-w-well, that's not wrong," I said, forgetting that I did lie and say I dreamed about Cindy Landolt instead of Angie herself. "But what I feel REALLY crappy about was, you know, what I wrote to you after sending that picture..."

"Well," she gulped. "Yeah, it was definitely crossing a line, I won't lie. But I get it; you were sexually confused, and from what you've told me about your husband, you were also beyond sexually frustrated."

I blushed like crazy.

"I think you would have done it to whoever would have answered you last night; luckily, it was me," she said, blushing somewhat.

That's not true; I only wanted her in that moment. But I can't tell her that.

"It sucks," I said, sighing. "Feeling like this, while being married. I'm supposed to have eyes only for my husband, but..."

"Hey," she said as she rubbed my shoulder. "Look, I get it; I wasn't all too happy about finding out I was a lesbian. After all, this IS Kansas! Being gay here isn't a picnic!"

"I feel weird about it," I said, feeling the tears in my face. "I've been with Tony since I was twelve years old! I've never even felt physically attracted to anyone before this! I-I mean anyone else..."

"Jesus," said Angie as she rubbed my shoulder.

"Oh, shoot, listen to me dominating the conversation," I said, faking a smile. "What about-"

"Do you ever feel like you didn't get a fair chance at discovering who you are?" She asked, looking pretty darn sad.

"Well," I found myself dumbstruck by her question. "Maybe. I mean, I never really thought about it."

"If it makes you feel better," she said, smiling. "It doesn't mean anything if you have a sexy dream about Cindy Landolt; she just has that kind of effect on people!"

"It wasn't," I gulped. "Just her... I, uh, liked that picture you sent me."

We both blushed like crazy. An awkward silence fell between us.

"Did you delete it?" She whispered to me.

"I had to," I whispered back. "I felt so guilty asking for it, and then about what I said next..."

"And if I hadn't stopped it at that moment," she began.

"I think I would have steered that conversation into sexting," I finished for her.

Another awkward silence.

"Woulda been the closest I'd gotten to getting laid in months," she chuckled.

"Me too," I chuckled as well. Then I blushed. "This is a crazy idea, but..."

"Yeah?"

"Listen," I gulped. "We could...finish tonight..."

"What?"

"Finish what we started last night," I said, my heartbeat racing. "Have a conversation that ends in sexting..."

"Wow," she replied, and she seemed to be trembling.

"I'm just," I began. "I'm really curious, and I find you so sexy and-"

"Same," she said. "Oh God..."

"What do you say?" I asked. "One AM? And when we're done, we delete the chat, and-"

"-pretend it never happened?" She asked. Then she smiled. "I can do that."