You'll never love me / satosugu

Angst Ending Part I

A/n: all the events will occur after chapter 11!

—

We did not speak whatsoever. After the 'sleepover', me and Satoru didn't speak again. Looks like his missions were too much, I suppose it's fine.

I'm fine.

I think.

Satoru is always on his mission nowadays, so I have absolutely nothing to do without him, absolutely nothing but think. About life, about what the purpose of us is. And by us, I mean the jujutsu kaisen society. Why do we help the people we do? It just doesn't feel right.

They don't do anything helpful, They don't even know who we are.

A waste of space.. fucking monkeys.

—

"Are you okay these days?" Shoko asks me, looking at me and concern. I only nod, not having enough energy to even speak. "Hey, if you want to talk Satoru and i are here." She reassures me. I only scoff.

"Satoru's always on a mission, I'm pretty sure he wont have enough time for me." Instead of replying, Shoko only gives me an odd look, full or sadness or curiosity, I can't tell.

As i walk around the school, i look at the places that my memories are from. The bench, I remember that Satoru would always eat something sweet there, forcing me to eat it as well. The classroom, where i tried to focus but Satoru would always distract me someway. The dorm, where we always used to hang around. We used to play games and talk. We used to.

Now, Satoru hasn't got the time for me. He never does. Whenever he returns from a mission, he would always get sent to another one. We speak, i guess. About once a week. He always says 'I'll be back soon' or 'see you' as he looks at me with an apologetic face. But he's never back soon.

And when i get sent on missions?

I have been exorcising and absorbing, over and over.

Over and over.

Makes me want to puke the shit out-

"Geto senpai?" A cheery voice breaks my chain of thought, and I snap my head towards the noise. "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while!" Haibara beams at me, not a care in the world. Or, my world at least.

He plops himself next to me, and he babbles on about his missions. He's always been a good company, I'm really grateful that he sat next to me.

"Anything you want when I go to the mission? I can give you souvenirs!" He says, with another big smile.

I don't want to tell him I haven't been eating, but I can't refuse him either.

"Satoru would like something probably, so something sweet?" I tell him, and he beams even more (I'm feeling quite nervous because I think his mouth will hurt).

"Gotcha!" He says, and I can't help but smile at his reaction. He's always so bubbly, looking at the positive side. Why can't i be more like him?

As he walks away, he waves at me before saying "i'll be back soon!" I try a smile in return, then i go back to staring at my hands. Thinking.

—

"Damn it!" Nanami throws a chair around the room, as I walk towards him carefully. "It was a first grade! It wasn't meant for us.." he crashes on to a chair, covering his eyes with a towel.

Haibara laid in the middle of the room, unmoving. Blood all over his face. I approached Haibara, to cover his face with the blanket. Haibara doesn't deserve this.

"The curse will be taken care by Satoru." I try to reassure Nanami, but he only scoffs. I have a feeling he's crying.

"Of course. Why can't he use take care of everything?" He mutters the last part, but i can hear him clearly. Yeah. Why can't he take care of everything? Why should we take in the missions that are obviously way too dangerous for us? Satoru easily surpasses everyone here.

Curses are too dangerous.

If the curses are so dangerous, why can't we let the world know about this?

If curses are made from.. humans, wouldn't that make them the source? So then the only conclusion would be to either make all the humans unlock their cursed energy or..

Kill them all.

I snap my head up. That's right. It's a good solution.

But at what cost?

—

Curses. They sure are what they're called. They messed up my life. Or maybe, that was the fate for me from the beginning. I enter the room the villagers wanted me to, to see two girls.

I nearly scoff. Two girls, so obviously innocent, is trapped in a cage. I feel my rage bubble inside, and it felt like something inside me.. unlocked. As my 'mission' comes to an end, the noises of the overwhelming humans cloud my head, their eyes on me expectantly. What if i just finish this here? An unimportant village that no one will care about. It'll be fine, besides, they're annoying me.

I can't do this anymore.

So, in a flash, i got my curse that i just swallowed and released it towards the humans. Those filthy monkeys.

Finally gone for once. I feel myself almost smiling as i watch all those underlings finally at their place. Burning and screaming, i feel so good.

But one thought ran through my head. What about Satoru?

Well, it's over now. It's too late. I just only feel numb today. I might regret later on, a week or even ten years. Probably for the rest of my life.

I love him, i know I always will. But maybe we just weren't meant to be. Not in this life, at least.

—

GOJO POV:

"What?" I ask Yaga. Standing in the hallway, i ball my hand into a fist, putting so much pressure on it to make it bleed. I had not heard that right. There's absolutely No way. Yaga sighs before responding, an unsteady one that makes my heart squeeze.

"Don't make me repeat it again, Gojo. Geto is sentenced to a death penalty now. He massacred an entire village-" i nearly explode then.

"I heard you!" I bellow, bringing a strained face form Yaga. "That's why i said: what?" I glare at him, as if i were accusing him. I'm mad sure, but i have no one to pin it on. I'm mad at Suguru, know i should be. But i can never bring myself to hate him. But I know, deep inside that it's my fault. I should've done something. Maybe, just maybe, i saw it coming. maybe it was meant to happen. I had noticed his declining health, for example the bags under his eyes. The way he barely ever spoke. The way he got thinner and thinner. I had known. But why had i ignored it? Because i knew we were the strongest. Because i knew he would be able to.. able to what? There was not even a reason. I just.. just watched.

Why hadn't i done anything? Just why?

I have a feeling, that I'll never find anyone like him again. Ever. Oh how i regret my decisions.

A/n: didn't expect to upload so fast, but i had time in the 15 hour plane :)

Anyway this isn't the last one already, it'll probably be two chapters. I think this is the last of the younger version, I'll write more about then ten years after. Thanks for reading!