KILL YOUR DARLINGS ✸ Saltburn

𝒙𝒗𝒊𝒊𝒊. shadows of lies

𖤐 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑵:
╰┈➤ shadows of lies ༉‧₊˚.

MEREDITH WAS TIRED OF LIVING the last week and a half in the shadows. First, with almost kissing Felix. Then, with actually kissing Oliver.

Now, with Felix supporting his body with one foot holding him up against the wall. He had his arms crossed over his torso and he kept working his jaw back and forth.

Meredith didn't know what to say ever since he came into her room and they got themselves in this silent mess in the first place.

"Ollie and Vee slept together." He finally says, brown eyes meeting mine and I notice the crease between his brows has been softened.

Oh.

Meredith didn't say anything, and maybe that was her fault because once Felix was done awaiting her answer and analyzing her silence, he saw right through her. "Is that why you were so upset the other day?"

He was implying that he was under the understanding of Meredith being so preserved the day after kissing Oliver was because she 'knew about Venetia and Oliver'.

Finally, Meredith shook her head, giving him something to work with, yet nothing at all.

But she, herself, was at war with her mind because she couldn't decide whether or not to tell Felix about her and his best mate.

"Did you know? About them?" Felix asks, walking toward her. He was beyond furious, and rightfully so, but Meredith didn't want to add to the fire.

Slowly, she nodded.

He paused. "Seriously? And you didn't tell me?"

"I'm sorry, I--" she shielded her face with her hands before facing him once more. "what's going on between us?" 

The question throws Meredith, herself, for a loop, and (clearly) does to Felix as well. 

He shakes his head and goes to join her side at the foot of her bed. 

And though neither of them say anything, their eyes do. God, their eyes tell a million different words all at once and in every single language they say I love you. 

I'm yours, his moon-lit eyes say. 

Mine? hers question. 

Yours. 

Meredith remained silent. Not because she was embarrassed for not telling him, but because what was about to come out of her mouth would be much worse.

"Oliver kissed me."

Truthfully, she'd rather have Felix be angry now, all at once, than to have two separate occasions of rage.

Felix didn't yell. He never has. His anger was much more mental.

"Bloody hell," Felix spits out, washing his palms down his face with exhaust before standing from the bed and began pacing across the white-carpeted floors of her bedroom. "After everything I've told him!" 

The words imply that he's confided in Oliver--like a best friend would, should--and only worsened the feeling of Meredith's heart caving in on itself. 

"I'm sorry," was all Meredith managed to get out with a frown.

The two words somehow caused Felix to wash away his anger and immediately join the girl at the foot of her bed.

He grabbed her hands in her lap and shook his. "No, Mere, I'm not..." he blew out a shaky breath, relieving the last of his anger. "I'm not upset with you."

Meredith's soft doe eyes met his. "Why not?"

He didn't say anything, he just looked into her eyes with understanding and sorrow. He offered a small, lopsided smile. "Mere, it's not your fault." 

If only he knew. 

"It's his." he said, angry again. "I cant--" 

Meredith knew that Felix acting on his impulses would worsen everything for everyone, and the last thing she wanted was for this summer to be insufferable because of her. 

"Listen, his party's soon. you can't..." She offered, trying to soothe him but failed quite miserably. 

No matter how angry he was, Felix knew Oliver's circumstances. and he couldn't bring himself to kick his poor friend out. Not tonight. Not this summer.