𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＦＩＶＥ

I was lying on the couch when I woke up to the uninvited morning sun filtering through our giant windows. Soft sounds rang out on the television, embracing us with evidence of a movie we forgot to stop before sleep. Matt was sitting next to me. He fell asleep while sitting. I always thought of him as a wild sleeper, but I guess it was me. But the scariest thing was that my right leg landed on his left knee. Panting, I sat up on my elbows to look at the view because I knew if he woke up to see this he would start growling angrily.

Far from shaking him, as I gently moved my leg away from his knee, something happened that sent small electric shocks down my entire spine. Matt's large palm moved up in his sleep, almost touching my thigh as he moved to pin my leg back to his knee. He must have been dreaming or something.

He laid my leg across his knee and, with his eyes still closed, turned his head towards me and grumbled something in his sleep. I was very scared. I didn't want to panic, but it wasn't happening. Maybe I was the one dreaming? Am I lying to the most homophobic, stupid man I've ever met on the planet? Is my leg wrapped tightly around his knee? Come on.

I finally decided to do it. I moved silently across the couch to lift my leg from his knee, even risking waking him up. It was better for him to see this than anything else, there was no way I wasn't going to be at risk of eviction if Matt witnessed this.

The worst part was that I had a bad morning erection as soon as I woke up. I didn't pay much attention to this as men would do it all the time. I moved my leg away from him, luckily he didn't notice anything. It was a good thing he was still snoring. I slowly peeled off the couch and as I headed to the bathroom to take a long shower, I heard him call out to me from the hallway. 

"How about we go out for breakfast?"

I stopped my steps toward the bathroom, walked back, and looked at him with wide eyes as I poked my head through the living room door. "Are you saying you want to go out with me?"

"What are you so surprised about, dude?" He stood up and ran his fingers through the tangled hair on his forehead, sticking it back onto his head, "We're roommates, I'm just saying we can have breakfast outside."

Okay, I did my best not to find this weird, but how? We lived in the same house half term but Matt never once wanted to go out with me. We weren't friends hanging out freely, and now he suddenly seemed friendly, like he'd decided to change that. Then I remembered his image of weakness from last night. He didn't seem all that bothered about having his feelings exposed by me, and maybe what happened this morning was his way of saying thank you.

"Come on," he sighed as he looked at me, "Shower and get dressed. I'm paying."

"Give me ten minutes."

***

Matt's fancy car stopped in front of a small bakery in town. It didn't seem like such an expensive place from the outside, but when you entered the street, you were surrounded by wonderful smells, even though you were in a car. Moreover, it was obvious even from here that the place had a wonderful view.

"Do you like croissants? Freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee?" Matt muttered as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"I loved it," I said quietly, repeating his movements, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but why did you want to eat out?"

I could have sworn there was a strange look in his eyes as he turned to face me, frowning, but I couldn't see them because they were hidden by a pair of dark sunglasses. "How many times do I have to say this, Ben? I just wanted some fresh air and didn't want to be alone. Why are you exaggerating? I'm sure every one of my friends are hungover, so they can't keep me company. It's Saturday, remember?"

"The truth just came out," I joked, "You invited me because of course you had no one around. Oh, and I almost forgot. It's Saturday."

"Well?" He crossed his arms and slowly looked at me.

"I have to go to Luke's dorm tonight. To study."

One of Matt's thick eyebrows curled urgently across his forehead, "What's wrong with our house?"

"You're in," I said laughing, "What more?"

A small snort escaped his nose, "You're starting to talk about him too much. You're about to have breakfast with me here, but Lucas' name keeps coming out of your mouth."

"His name is Luke, Matt."

"Same thing." He opened the door and tried to look indifferent as he got out of the car, "You still have a few hours for this lonely and sad boy, right?"

"Sure," I said, following him into the bakery, "Don't worry about it, I'll stay as long as you want."

We were greeted by a lovely short woman who was obviously French. She directed us to one of the tables in the backyard. This didn't seem so ridiculous when I remembered that Matt had said he wanted to get some fresh air even though it was a brutal fall in New York. We sat down, and as I perused the menu, Matt interrupted me by raising his hand. "Two chocolate croissants, freshly squeezed orange juice, two French toasts, and some drip coffee."

"How did you know what I wanted to eat?"

"I didn't know, I was just guessing," he said, leaning back and ruffling his hair, "Besides, these are the specialties of this place."

"Ok then." I crossed my arms and turned my eyes to the cloudy cityscape outside the balcony, "So, are you going to give up on these gay jokes now that we're firm friends?"

"So, will you admit that you are gay?"

When I quickly turned my head towards him, I was stunned to see an extremely serious expression on his face. "Oh my God, I came out to you and you still insist that I'm gay. What do you mean, man?"

"I guess I'm afraid you might have feelings for me," he admitted, shaking his shoulders, "I'd breathe a sigh of relief if I saw you put your dick in a woman. Because that means you don't harbor any ill will towards me."

"You're crazy! I'm definitely not gay, and if I were, what makes you think I would ever choose someone like you?" I replied.

I saw his eyes darken slightly as he leaned towards me, resting his elbows on the table, "What do you mean? What's wrong with me?"

I quickly looked away, "What do you want to ask, Matt?"

"What kind of person am I, Ben?" It scared me a little bit because his voice got heavy somehow.

"Let's be real," I began, coughing slightly, "Look at you. You're a walking failure. An arrogant guy with a bad character and a very handsome face. This means that you are many people's ideal type. But not mine."

There was no expression on his face. That's when I realized, I kept quiet. Did you just say he's handsome, Ben? I swallowed loudly as Matt looked into my soul with his dark eyes. I don't even know why I reacted so ridiculously.

"We obviously have our differences," he said, leaning back and spreading his knees, "But you just admitted that you find me handsome, and that's pretty gay if you ask me."

"All this is being said by the guy who called me by his ex-girlfriend's name and asked me to kiss him!" I quickly became defensive.

"I was just drunk," he corrected, "Not like I jumped on a few dicks at the frat house or in the locker room."

I was rescued by the waiter who returned to the table while blushing hard. Damn, why had Matt suddenly decided to make such a move? I was sure that neither he nor I were gay, neither of us. 

So why do we keep arguing about it?