𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＳＩＸＴＹ

I was obviously nervous as I got out of the taxi and stood at the door of the restaurant for a few minutes before heading inside. I was used to Sam being casual and spontaneous about activities that often involved Matt and me, but tonight it was possible to smell something different in the air. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe it was just my bad feeling, but I didn't like how she started a relentless struggle to bring Matt and I together as soon as she returned from her journey of enlightenment.

At the door, I got stuck in the back of the queue that stretched to the end of the street and stood with my hands in my pockets among the people waiting their turn to get in. It was cold, and I did nothing but rub my hands frequently and stamp my feet on the ground, releasing steamy breaths into the air. When it was finally my turn, I managed to enter the restaurant by telling the attendant that my friends were inside.

I walked past the crowded tables and came face to face with my sister at a booth at the end of the restaurant. Her hands were locked under her chin, Matt's broad back was facing the door. Sam waved when she saw me, and my heart sank as Matt turned towards me slightly over his shoulder. He was in my office this morning, his mouth on mine until I got a call from his wife.

"Hello Ben!" Sam stood up, and when she stretched out her arms to hug me, I stepped in between them.

"You look great," I said, rubbing her back a few times. I let go of her and shook Matt's hand, who extended his hand to me without getting up. As soon as I placed my hand in his palm, I quickly pulled it back. "Hi Matt, how's it going?"

He shook his head with an expressionless face and pulled the chair next to him for me to sit down. From this angle, Sam would be sitting across from both of us. I have to give him credit, Matt is a really good actor.

"I made an order for all of us while we were waiting," Sam said, raising a champagne glass to her mouth, "I hope you're not mad at me for choosing what you eat."

"I'm not mad," I dismissed her.

"Salad and tomato soup," Sam nudged my shoulder, "It doesn't hurt to eat healthy one night a week."

"Guys don't need to know that," Matt grumbled over some champagne, "What happened to fried chicken wings?"

Sam rolled her eyes at him then turned to me and started telling me every unnecessary detail about the trip she was on with her yoga class. I sipped my champagne as Matt did while listening to stories about people I'd never met. I nodded and smiled often. After a while, I felt Matt's hand placed on my knee under the table, and I coughed slightly to avoid spitting out my champagne.

"Are you listening to me?" Sam squealed, "Anyway, now that our food is here we can get to the main topic."

It was at that point that I looked in Matt's direction for the first time since the beginning of the night. It was to see him looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"I think we all know there's something going on here."

I set my glass down and frowned, sending Matt another look.

"What kind of things?" Matt raised his eyebrows at Sam as if he were talking about something casual.

"So there's something going on here," Sam repeated, "And I've been aware of it for a while."

I clasped my fists together and tucked them under my chin, trying to hide my blushing face. "I don't know what you're talking about," I grumbled. Matt's hand on my knee squeezed the skin.

"Let's start by being honest with each other." Sam leaned back, folded her arms, and narrowed her eyes between Matt and me. "Which one of you wants to tell me what's going on between you two?"

I looked towards Matt skeptically, knowing a nervous smile was spreading across my face. It must have been from shock. It was to deny everything. Wait, could Steve have somehow reached my sister and told her about the horrific thing he witnessed at Walmart? No, I guess he wouldn't do that.

"Between us?" To gain time or to prove to his wife that there was nothing suspicious, Matt questioned her once more.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Sam lifted her finger at him, waving it between Matt and me a few times. "It was before we got married, and it continues. Every time you're around each other, you don't look at each other, and it makes me think..."

"What does that make you think, Sam?" I asked breathlessly.

"There are some things you guys still haven't figured out," she said, looking at the two of us in surprise. "So, I guess you've been fighting since your roommates ended. I mean, that's what happens, right?"

I grinned nervously as Matt looked at me from the corner of his eye. "So, I guess you caught us, Sam. Yes, it's true that we don't really like each other, but neither of us feel the need to hide it."

I got a small frown from Matt after my words, but I quickly looked away so he wouldn't ruin everything. 

"This needs to change now..." Sam insisted, having no intention of dropping the subject. "I want my husband and my brother to get along well."

"We'll try," Matt shook his shoulders briefly, chugging more champagne into his stomach.

"You better try because I have news for you guys." Sam looked away as she played with her glass. There was an awkward silence at the table. No one did anything to disrupt it. Matt's hand was still on my knee, but I don't think I was even aware of it enough as I waited for what Sam had to say. I have no idea how long that silence lasted. 

"Matt and I are having a baby."

Silence. Matt's hand on my knee disappears, slowly withdrawing.

"Honey, you're becoming a father."

Silence. I heard Matt's voice over the ringing in my ears, I don't know what he said.

I pulled out my chair, and as I slowly stood up, two pairs of eyes turned to me. I think I must have said something like "Congratulations"

"Hey Ben, are you okay?" It was Sam's voice. She moved her eyes over my face, I don't know what I look like right now. I was just feeling dizzy, and judging by the look on my sister's face, I must have turned into something truly terrible.

"I have to go."

"Ben, where are you going?" Sam protested. "Are you feeling dizzy? At least let Matt take you home."

At that moment I saw Matt get up from his chair and look at me with worried eyes. His face was no longer frozen, hidden behind his dark orbs was the same discouraged feeling that danced in my eyes. Despair. He wanted to grab my shoulders but I grabbed my jacket and told him I would find a taxi before walking towards the door without waiting for him.

While I should have been happy for her that she was having a baby, I lost it because I was madly in love with her husband. I went out, leaving my sister and that man who would never be mine at the restaurant.

The last thing I remember about that night was that I chose to walk to Luke's apartment instead of taking a taxi. I walked until my tears dried against the wind and formed a salty coating on my face.