𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＦＩＦＴＹ ＮＩＮＥ

After a weeklong vacation with Matt in our new apartment, I was lying on Luke's couch, staring at the ceiling. I may have been a little confused after my unfortunate run-in with Steve at the Walmart and a little reluctant to meet Matt on our little getaway, but there was only one way to get my mind back together, and that's what I did. I came to see Luke. 

"Do you think Steve will tell your sister about this?" Luke called from the kitchen into the living room. He was cooking some meat and spaghetti for the two of us for dinner.

"I don't know, man," I tucked my arms under my head and sighed, "That's not the point. You should have seen the way Steve looked at me."

"Can you blame him?"

I stood up and put my shoulder against the kitchen door. I looked at Luke, who was struggling with the sizzling pan. "Thank you Luke."

"I'm just stating the facts." He shook his shoulders, muttering shamelessly. He continued without looking at my face. "Just a thought, Matt is buying an expensive apartment for the two of you and that's a serious step. But somehow he never talks about breaking up his marriage."

I walked over and stood in front of him by the stove. "Meaning?"

"Did you lose your brain because you fell in love?" Luke continued with disproportionate honesty. "He fought with you many times because you chose to hide what you had with him, but maybe he was the one hiding you all along."

"Why do you say such things?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt," he said, turning the meat over once, then folding his arms and turning to me. "Because that's what real friends do."

I felt my cheeks start to turn red. I quickly became defensive. "But Matt said from the beginning that he was tired of keeping it secret. He said he wanted to break up with Sam before he proposed to her, and I was the one who stopped him."

"Maybe he already knew you could stop him." Luke's eyebrows protruded into his forehead. "I'm sorry, Ben, I don't want to be that bastard who puts a damper on your happiness, but I know Matt. How long do you think it will take for his father to turn his back on him if this affair gets out? That means he'll lose his job and everything he owns."

I scratched my head thoughtfully. "So you mean to say he was tricking me?"

"That's not what I meant." After arranging the meat and spaghetti on plates, I followed him into the living room. "So now he's got a marriage that can cover it up nicely. That way no one will notice what he's doing with you in the shadows. Matt gets to live his respectable life and still have your sweet ass. Doesn't sound that weird, does it?"

"What should I do?" I sat across from him, and unlike Luke, I never touched my food.

"I can't tell you that," he said, shaking his shoulders, "I know you love him, so leaving Matt won't be an option for you."

I was silent for a moment. I put my fist to my mouth and stared somewhere on the table, just thinking. If Luke is right, that makes me nothing more than a backup player in Matt's life. Okay, sex is pretty and fun, but what if that's all he wants to have about me?

"I didn't say all this to make you upset." Luke put his fork back on the plate and playfully poked my cheek. "Come on man, I'm just thinking out loud. I'm just saying this so don't throw caution to the wind as you continue to do whatever it is you're doing with him. You just have to consider every possibility if you don't want your heart to be broken again."

I know he's right and I hate it. Somehow Luke was always right about Matt.

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First day back at the office after the food poisoning lie. As fucked as it feels to start the day by having an encounter with Steve at the coffee vending machine that lasts more than a second, I know I have to focus if I don't want to get fired. He didn't say a word to me, and like Luke said last night, I couldn't blame him.