𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＦＯＲＴＹＴＨＲＥＥ

I tried to control myself, but I could only go two weeks without calling Matt. 

I collapsed on the couch and found myself thinking about Kate once again one afternoon, while she was at school. I talked to Sam frequently on the phone and secretly tried to get information about Matt. How was he? Did he break up with my sister like he told me that night in the park? I would know if he did. Sam didn't say a word about it and gave one-word answers when I asked questions about how her boyfriend was doing.

I didn't want to push the questioning because I thought it would be a better idea to call Matt instead of making my sister suspicious. I could only curse myself for having to abandon him in the middle of a deserted park that night. Frankly; I was scared. Even though I knew I was inevitably falling for him, I was afraid to think where things might go between us.

I was afraid that what we felt for each other would eventually lead to someone getting hurt.

I held the phone to my ear and waited for a few eerie ringtones. The phone didn't answer, so I ended the call immediately. Dumb! I wished I hadn't done this, but it was too late. As I waited a few minutes with my head in my hands, I jumped up when I felt the phone vibrating on the couch. Matt was calling, my heart was pounding like crazy.

"H-hello..."

"Did something happen?" His voice sounded extremely stern and scary.

I was stunned. What was I going to tell him? There isn't much time to think.

"Hi Matt.. I... I called you because... I think I... How are you?" I held my head and closed my eyes.

"Fine," his voice raspy and shallow, "And I don't think you called to ask me that?"

"Look, I was actually thinking..."

"Ben, is this really urgent? I'm in a meeting with my father. Can we talk later?"

His father? Meeting? Matt generally hates his father and avoids seeing him as much as possible when the man is in town. Moreover, he mentioned a meeting. Is this work? Has Matt agreed to take over his father's business? The Matt I know wouldn't do that in a million years.

"We need to talk," I said.

"About what?" Matt asked in a voice that sounded very foreign to me, some loud noises coming from the background.

"The last time I saw you..."

"Look, I really need to hang up."

I was filled with a small ache in my heart. "Can you come here?"

There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone. I hadn't planned this at all, but I remembered Kate was going to her friend's house after school tonight. I really needed to talk to Matt. It felt like the walls were closing in on me to suffocate me. I need to break this cycle to know that we are okay. Knowing that I didn't hurt him enough, even if unintentionally. I know how it seems, I broke his heart by acting like a selfish jerk, but without Matt I'm a mess. Nothing without him.

"I don't think so," I heard him say, "Sam and I have plans tonight."

"Oh..." I slowly pressed my ass into the seat as I scratched my forehead, "I understand, but it'll only take a few minutes."

Silence. Terrible. What am I thinking when I beg him?

"I'd rather not," he grumbled, "But if it's really important to you..."

"Absolutely. I'll wait for you."

After hanging up the phone, I leaned my head back on the sofa and closed my eyes for a short while. What should I tell Matt when he comes to my house? Is it too late to take back all this nonsense?