𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＦＩＦＴＹ ＯＮＥ

Matt and I quickly went upstairs. I don't think we've even looked at each other once since we sat down to eat, and it was better that way for everyone. I was just seconds away from being fucked by my sister's husband and I know what I did was terrible. It's so scary.

But unfortunately there is something like that about him. If I need to explain this a little; It's about Matt's influence on me. I do things I would never do when I'm with him and I hate that he can somehow control me even after years. I know it doesn't seem like an excuse, but there's this shitty thing about bringing out the worst in each other, and I've never been able to get over it.

"The dinner was wonderful Sam, thank you for welcoming me to your home tonight." Steve tried to be polite, and he was succeeding. I have to admit, sitting next to my boyfriend as if what just happened never happened made me feel like a bit of a slut.

"Wine?" 

Matt pointlessly reached over to refill Steve's glass. Once again. He gave him drinks all night for no reason. There was no active conversation on his part, he was quiet and barely participated in the conversation but seemed more interested in getting Steve drunk.

"I'll drive, I think that's enough." After politely declining, Steve reached for my hand on the table. When he held it in his hand, I couldn't help but glance up at Matt, a bottle dangling in his hand. It always goes to him. 

I coughed quickly as his dark eyes fixed on the spot where I had made contact with Steve. "I think we'd better get going now."

"Not in the world!" Samantha quickly jumped to her feet. "I can't have you driving like this and endangering my brother's life. Why don't you stay the night?"

I'm sure my face turned into something very strange. I looked at Steve first, and he looked at me uncertainly. Then to Matt... He leaned back in his chair, his eyes on the table as his fingers played with his glass. What will happen now? I knew Sam would insist if I objected, so I hope Steve does.

"I don't know..." Steve took his hand away from me and ruffled his hair. "What are you saying, Ben?"

I was so scared. Of course, in a house with my boyfriend and his wife, Matt wasn't about to jump on me, but wait, didn't he already do it in the cellar? Something very bad would happen if the two of us were left alone, and I didn't want to let that happen again. 

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "I don't think this is a good idea Sam, Steve and I have a meeting at the office tomorrow morning."

"Really?" Steve turned to me with wide eyes. "I thought the meeting was Monday."

"Tomorrow is Sunday..." Sam protested immediately. "How can you have a meeting on Sunday? What kind of law firm is this?"

They were not late in revealing my lie. And since I had no other excuse to offer, I had to sigh helplessly. "Okay then, Steve and I will take the guest room."

That's when I saw Matt's eyes shoot up. That wasn't what I meant when I said it, sharing a bed with my boyfriend at my sister's house, but it sounded like that now and I couldn't take it back. 

Sam laughed slyly, "You two dummy are still in their sweet months, aren't you?"

You bet! Steve and I did little more than hold hands. I mean, I'm talking about a two-week relationship. But seeing the horrifying look on Matt's face chilled me to my bones. He was a little drunk, so was I, and so was Steve. But mostly Sam. 

So much so that she has already instructed the maid to prepare the guest room for Steve and me.

-----

"Your sister and her husband are wonderful people." Steve said as he laid down next to me. 

"I guess they are." I folded my arm, tucked it under my head, and stared at the ceiling.

"They're a great couple." Steve continued in a sleepy voice. "They were very friendly and embraced me like family. Especially your sister. And her husband was a little..."

I quickly turned my eyes to him. "What happened to her husband?"

"Did you say he was your roommate in your first year?" Steve chuckled slightly. "I don't know why, but I saw him giving me strange looks a few times. I think he was trying to be a good brother-in-law to you. Maybe he was checking to see if I was being nice to you. Am I doing it?"

Poor Steve...

"Of course you are." I stammered quickly. "You are, Steve. You're a good boyfriend and I'm happy to be here."

While I was wondering how much longer I could keep up this show, Steve had one of his hands in my hair. I like him, I've been doing it, but what happened in the cellar with Matt tonight... I did it again, once again I just let him come and confuse me. I thought I was clear enough in my relationship with Steve, and now Matt has ruined it. He destroyed me, once again.

I stood still as I felt his body move closer to mine on the bed. Steve lifted his head from the pillow and gently crashed his lips onto mine. Only once. It was a completely unintentional, no-expectation kiss, and I liked it. Cute. However, I made no attempt to reciprocate and return the kiss. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just felt numb.

I think he took my stillness as a kind of silent submission and leaned over me to repeat the move. His upper lip settled between my lips and he kissed me once again. This time it lasted longer than the previous one, but it contained no sexual innuendos. 

He pulled back and looked at my face closely as his hand settled on my face. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked as his thumb slid across my temple.

"No I..." I said as I pulled my head back a little on my pillow.

"I'm sorry..." Steve backed away a bit. I saw him. The disappointment crossing his face. Not in an overbearing way, it just made me feel like what a awful person I was. I wouldn't hurt him on purpose. Never. "I just thought...I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry, Ben." 

He ran his hand through his hair, looked at the ceiling and sighed deeply. I knew at that moment, I messed up.

"You didn't do anything wrong." After looking at him for a while, I approached Steve on the bed and laid my head on his chest. His hand rested on the back of my head, it felt good. "Just because we're at my sister's house."

"I'm so inconsiderate..." He muttered as he kissed the top of my head. "Let's sleep." 

One of his arms slid under my back, holding me close and resting his chin on my head. I felt safe. Before I fell asleep, my body was covered in his warmth. I hugged him, holding him close to me like a cocoon. It was something I needed. I missed a body, a warmth, something I didn't know what it was. 

I miss Matt...