𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐁𝐗𝐁

ＦＯＲＴＹ ＮＩＮＥ

After passing through a huge yard with a bottle of Jack in my arms, I entered a room so large that most people would hardly call it a living room. Steve was standing right next to me, and my sister and Matt were sitting on two armchairs placed in front of panoramic windows that took in a magnificent view of the city. 

Sam's face lit up and she jumped to her feet when she saw us. I can't say the same for Matt, but before I looked away from him as fast as I could I saw him holding a crystal Whiskey glass leaning on his knee. His other hand rested on the corner of his forehead. He definitely didn't have a happy face.

The first thing I noticed was that his hair was a little longer than usual. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, which I wasn't used to seeing him in lately. Effortlessly handsome. Damn Matt... I don't know how he does it, but every time I see him it feels like the first time. Will I ever get over this feeling? Will I ever get over it?

"Wow..." Sam quickly approached us. She definitely looked a little different than usual too. Her red hair fell in elaborate waves over her bare shoulders, she was wearing a black dress that matched her husband's, and she definitely didn't look like my sister. She's lost a lot of weight lately, maybe she was having some sort of epiphany or something because of that yoga course she just wrote. "He's really handsome..." Sam put her hands on my boyfriend's shoulders, held him at arm's length from her with an intimacy Steve would never have expected in a million years, and stared at him uncomfortably closely.

"Stop scaring him, Sam." I giggled as I looked at those two in uncertainty.

Sam ignored me and called behind her shoulder while keeping her eyes on Steve. "Honey, come here and say hello to my brother's boyfriend."

At that moment I heard a loud voice and looked at Matt. He tapped his glass on the edge of the table and slowly stood up. Her face was like concrete, and I honestly didn't understand why Sam was talking to him like she was calling her one-year-old son or her dog instead of her husband.

Matt came towards us with a dull face, his hands stuffed in his pockets. I took my eyes off his face very quickly. Even among people, I could smell him when he approached me. It was a very familiar scent, a forbidden scent that I kept in the dark corridors of my mind on nights when I missed him and the warmth of his hands.

As the emotions overwhelmed me, I watched the shapely hand move closer to my belly. "Hi Ben, how are you?" 

I looked at Matt and his hand, which had been floating in the air for a while. I quickly realized it was kind of rude for him to greet me before Steve, it was like he was ignoring him. More importantly, the man looked like he had drunk enough to fill a liquor store.

In a desperate and even cowardly move, instead of reaching out my free hand to him, I held out the bottle of alcohol in my arms as a result of a sudden reflex. "Hi Matt, how's it going?"

I don't know why, but he must have noticed my tension because a sharp but small smile appeared on Matt's face. Like an asshole, the way he always was. I quickly took my hand back as I felt his long fingers hit my knuckles for a second as he pulled the bottle from my hand. Matt handed the bottle to the Asian lady in the blue apron who was passing by, and this time he stood in front of Steve. He freed him from Sam's disturbing attentions, but as if something worse was on the way, he began to eye him dirtyly from head to toe as he reached his hand towards Steve.

"I think you're Steven." The condescending tone in his voice did not go unnoticed by anyone. "Ben's new boyfriend."

Steve grabbed Matt's hand without hesitation. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. Still, he smiled warmly and nodded calmly, as he had just done to Sam. "Yeah, I think I'm him."

"You're handsome." Matt grinned as he shook the outstretched hand harshly. It was shocking. "I'm not surprised Ben chose someone like you. He always had a thing for men involved in sports."

Panic crept up my body very quickly. I prayed to God that neither Steve nor my sister would question what he meant. Luckily Sam acted before me. "Well, I've hired a great event company for dinner tonight."

"You didn't have to do that," I jumped out.

"He is right." Steve grinned as he let go of Matt's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Whether the food is delicious or not."

"You found a really kind and lovely man, didn't you?" Sam turned to me and chuckled. "Anyway, I'm going to steal Steve to get to know him better. Ben, can you please go down to the cellar and help Matt pick out a few wines for tonight?"

I was shocked, from the first minute. I coughed and looked at Matt with wide eyes. I felt like I wasn't ready enough to be alone with him in a dark cellar. I would never be. "Look, Sam," I said, clearing my throat, "I actually need to go to the bathroom. I'm sure Matt can handle it on his own."

"Actually, I can't." I was suffocating when a big hand leaned firmly on my shoulder from the side, his fingers squeezing it just a little too tightly. "Come on, Ben," I heard Matt say, "You can go to the bathroom later. Come down with me and help me."

As Sam and Steve somehow disappeared, he didn't stop holding my shoulder and pulled me from there, leading me down the hall and into the hallway. As I walked with him towards the wide stairs leading down to the cellar, I felt the despair of a man preparing to go to his own execution. Of course, he couldn't be crazy enough to try to cross a certain line with me in this house where he lives with his wife, but what was I going to tell him? What would I talk about when I was alone with him? 

Moreover, there was a certain anger in the grip of Matt's hand on my shoulder as he pulled me towards the dark stairs. Maybe more. This sexual tension, regret and the feeling that thousands of possibilities surround us that never leave me. I followed him as if time had stopped, letting him pass in front of me and plunge into an indistinct darkness.