𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 • 𝓳𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 | ✓ |

2. 𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓶 𝓳𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓽

                           |2|
        "good at overthinking with my heart."
             ||NEEDY; ARIANA GRANDE||
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
i woke up the next morning to the melodious sounds of my parents screaming at each other.
what a great way to start off the day.

i'm so sick of them. i'm so sick of everything. i'm starting to get sick of myself.

i quietly walked to the bathroom to rinse my face with cold water, use the bathroom, and grab my special denim jacket.

i then ran out the door before my dad could get a hold of me, or i get dragged into my parent's argument.

after getting a decent distance away from the house, i slowed my pace and walked normally toward the direction of the curtis' house.

i walked alone.

no.

i walked alone with my thoughts.

they kept me negatively occupied until i arrived at my destination.

i instinctively tiptoed up the concrete steps and carefully opened the screen door. each person was off doing there own thing, and no one noticed i was there at first.

soda and steve were playing slap jack at the dining table. darry was reading the morning paper in his recliner. dally and two-bit were in the living room sitting on the floor, playing some sort of game that involved beer. pony was sitting on the other side of the living room, reading.

i decided to just walk over to pony and sit down next to him. he jumped at first when i sat down.

"well, heya johnnycakes! when'd ya get here?" he asked, placing the book mark in his book and shutting it.

"oh, uh, i just got here." i replied.

ponyboy then started explaining something, but i wasn't paying attention.

i couldn't help but keep sneaking a peak at dally while pony talked to me. he looked so cute in his leather jacket. his voice so stern, yet calm. his beautiful brown hair. god, what has this man done to me?

"nah! you cheated two-bitch!" dally yelled playfully, slapping two-bits' shoulder. the two began wrestling right there in the middle of the floor. i noticed myself letting out a faint giggle at the sight of this. the first time i'd laughed in god knows how long.

i snapped out of my haze by the realization that pony was still talking.

"uhm...hello? johnny are ya with me?" he asked me, waving his hand in front of my face.

"oh! i'm sorry pone, i was kinda-"

"distracted?" he interrupted, laughing. "yea, i noticed. you've been watchin" him for a good minute now."

"i just can't help it. he's so...ugh i don't know." i explained.

"i understand. you've really fallen hard for 'em?" he said, making it sound like more of a question.

"i guess. it's just killin' me because he don't like me back."

"i wouldn't say that..."

my eyes lit up as soon as those words left his lips.

"what?! what do you mean?!?"

"i mean, did you see how worried he was 'bout you last night goin' home? i was worried too, but dal was real worried." he explained.

"well...yea i guess you're right. i didn't think that deep into it. maybe i do got a shot with him!" i said, fueling myself with encouragement.

"that's the spirit! now hey, i'm headin' to the park soon and cherry valance is gonna be there. she asked me to tutor her. could ya come with me? i might need some of that encouragement too." he asked.

i thought it over for a second. cherry and pony had a "thing" going on and i didn't want to be a third wheel. plus, both pony and cherry are star students, so i knew the tutoring excuse was bullshit, but pony's my buddy and i'll help him out.

"sure. i'll go with ya."

"alright!" he cheered, "we'll be headin' out in just a sec though, if that's alright."

i nodded. "yea that's fine."

"okay, i'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick, and then we'll go." he said, getting up from the floor and making his way down the hallway. i gave him a thumbs up before he was fully gone.

i now had deja vu, sitting alone with my thoughts, though, these were positive thoughts.

did pony really mean what he said about dally? does he really think he likes me back? or maybe he was just saying that because we're buddies. maybe he's just building me up to watch me fall. maybe for some reason he's plotting on my downfall.

the thoughts turned negative in almost an instant. that's something i hate about myself. i hate it so damn much.

to distract myself, i picked up pony's book he left on the floor.

i was planning on lookin at it, until my eyes caught the sight of dally. he was now laying on the couch under a blanket, watching a movie. god, he looked so cute right now. i wish i could just go lay up there with him.

i zoned back in to the book and held it in front of my face to read the back. before i could even read the first sentence, pony came back from the bathroom.

"ya ready?" he asked, grabbing his coat off the rack.

"yup." i responded, getting myself up off the floor.

after pony told his brothers bye, i followed him to the front door. he walked out, but before i could fully get out, i heard my name get called.

"ay johnny." dally called at me from the couch. my head immediately snapped around to face face.

"yea dal?" i asked nervously.

"i like that jacket on you. it looks tuff." he said, forming a smile.

i felt myself blush and develop an ear-to-ear smile, which i tried to maintain.

"th-thanks dally." i replied before finally exiting the house.

i lazily jogged to catch up to pony, who was somehow already halfway down the street.

that stupid smile stayed on my face the entire walk to cherry's.

"yup," i thought to myself while we walked, "i'm never takin' this jacket off."