My world

89.

Derek.

It's been about two weeks since everything happened.

Meredith seems to be doing a bit better but she still refuses to someone.

I think it would be best if she did so she could fully heal, put it behind her and move on.

We got movers to move everything into the new house and we've gotten everything situated.

The kids' bedrooms are finished as well as Francesca's nursery.

The kids have picked up on Meredith's behaviour but I just told them Meredith was sick and not feeling very well.

It's the morning now and I just gave the twins breakfast and fed Francesca a bottle while Meredith was still asleep.

That's another thing she's been doing. She goes to sleep earlier and sleeps in later than usual.

She had nightmares almost every day for the first four days but they've seemed to have gone down and she doesn't get them as much.

She says it helps when I'm in the room with her. I don't have to go to sleep just working in the bedroom, watching TV, or reading a book.

At night time I like to hold her until she falls asleep. The thing she needs most right now is to feel safe in her own home again.

She needs to know nothing is going to happen to her, she needs to be able to drop something and not jump at the sound of it.

I've tried everything I can think of to help her but nothing I can do can take back what happened.

I found a female therapist online that has worked with rape victims before and the results have all been positive.

She went to Harvard for medical school and Princeton University and I want Meredith to start seeing her.

I've already set up an appointment with her in three days and I'm going to tell Meredith when she wakes up so she can get used to the idea before she has to go talk to her.

I don't make her talk to me about it if she doesn't want to but I think it will only benefit her if she talks to a therapist about it.

She doesn't want me to look at her differently if I know all the dirty details but if she tells someone she doesn't have to live with she won't have to worry about that.

I hear Meredith come down the stairs before she walks into the kitchen.

She puts on a smile for the kids. She says good morning and kisses them all on the head before dropping the smile as she walks over to me.

She presses a brief kiss to my lips before she pours herself a cup of coffee.

"How did you sleep last night?" I ask placing my hand on the small of her back, she tenses up for a moment before she relaxes.

"I slept fine," she says.

"Meredith, I have something to tell you," I say.

"What is it?" She asks.

"I made you an appointment with a therapist, Dr. Wyatt, she's worked with rape victims before and she graduated at the top of her class at Princeton and Harvard. It's in three days," I say.

"Derek-" she says.

"Just have one full session with her, just talk to her for one hour and if you like her then you can keep seeing her but if you don't then you don't have to see her again," I say.

"Why do you want me to see a therapist so bad?" She says.

"Because I think it's the only way for you to heal entirely and be able to put what happened to you in the past. It's what's best for you. If People who go through horrible things like you did don't seek professional help then only bottle it up and come back to haunt them one day until they break down into a suicidal state and I don't want that for you. You have it too good to just throw it away because of one horrible man," I say.

"So you think I'm overreacting and I should just get over it?" She says.

"No, that's not what I think. What I mean is I don't want you to let him ruin your life. You have to take back control of your life, you have a family, a husband and three kids who love you more than anything and only want you to be happy... don't throw it all away and hide in a dark hole for the rest of your life.. it's okay to ask for help, you don't have to do everything on your own," I say stroking her hair.

"... fine, I'll see her," she sighs. "Good, but I don't want you doing this for me. I want you to do this for you," I say pulling her close.

"I'm doing it for them," she says looking over at the kids.

The new house:

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•