My world

91.

One week later.

Meredith.

I got home from my therapy session about ten minutes ago.

I go three times a week, four if it's a bad week I just have to call my therapist and schedule another day with her or we do it over the phone.

I hate admitting that I'm wrong but the therapy sessions have been helping a lot.

I'm not over it and I haven't moved on yet or am fully healed but I'm now able to not think about it all day and I no longer sleep all day.

I'm still not back at work because I still have the scars on my thighs and I'm not going to be explaining those to anybody no matter what.

I figured Derek would be at work but his Ferrari was in the driveway which means he's home.

I put my things down and go upstairs and into the bedroom to see if he's there.

When I walk into the room I find him doing push-ups on the floor in nothing but boxers.

"You do realize there's a gym downstairs to workout in, right?" I say walking further into the room.

"Yes, I know but you probably wouldn't have been able to find me if I was down there," he says.

"How was therapy?" He asks, stopping and walking over to me.

"It was good," I say.

He puts his hand on my waist and gently presses his lips against mine. He goes to pull away but I kiss him again, deeper and more passionate.

"Maybe I should work out more often in the bedroom," he says.

"Or you could just ask me to watch," I say gently squeezing his biceps which have gotten slightly larger, his back muscles more apparent and his abs are more visible.

"That too," he says before kissing me again. We start making out.

We haven't been intimate since what happened. Derek hasn't mentioned it or complained because he understands why.

I've gotten better but I still don't think I'm ready yet.

After a few minutes, I pull away. "I'm going to go chance," I say. I kiss his lips once more before pulling away and go into my walk-in closet to get changed, and to let him fix his issue.

Derek.

Meredith left to get dressed. I look down and sigh before going into the bathroom. I lift the toilet seat and remove my boxers.

Meredith.

When I go back into the bedroom I hear Derek's still in the bathroom. I leave the room and go to check on Francesca.

I find her napping in her crib with her arm stretched above her head.

I smile before leaving her room to let her sleep.

When I get back to the bedroom I see Derek's done in the bathroom. His face is a little sweaty and so is his chest.

"Everything went okay in there? You look a little warm," I smile, teasingly.

"Yes, everything's fine. Where'd you go?" He asks.

"I went to go check on Fay but she's still fast asleep," I say.

"She's been asleep for a while. She was pretty busy earlier," he says.

"She's three months old, how busy could she be?" I say.

"She talks a lot. She's big on conversations," he says.

"I'm sure she is," I say sitting down on the bed.

"But really, how did therapy go?" He asks.

"It was fine, I don't enjoy talking about my problems but it gets a bit easier to talk about after some time," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He says.

"No, not right now, especially with you," I say.

"Meredith," he says. He walks over and sits down on the side of the bed.

"You know you can tell me anything," he says.

"I know that, but you're different, this is different. You're my husband, I gave you my virginity, I had three kids with you. If I tell you what happened you'll have that picture in your head, believe me, you don't want that. You don't want to see me that way and it'll only make things harder. I was raped, that's all you need to know, the details won't make you feel better," I say.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•**•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

We moved into the new house yesterday!

I think I'm gonna end this at 100. Or should I do more?

Suggestions??