Will We Last Infinity?

Should I?

Hey, guys...I know I said I would have a chapter for you guys but now im thinking about discontinuing the story...should I? I mean I have a plan and I know where I want this book to go and if I want a sequel...I mean I have everything planned out but life just sucks. yano? it really does suck. Everybody literally hates me. And now im not saying this to get pitty or attention im just explaining why I never write anymore:

 So, wattpad and this story use to help me - a lot. But this past few months ive been in a downhill spiral. Well, actually since I was ten ive struggled with depression and cutting but lately the cuts have been deeper, the smoking more frequent, the highs always, and the starving longer.  And when ur depressed u have no motivation to do anything. You know how I dance Tahitian and hula? I love it, I really do, but now I don't have motivation to practice and my teachers are starting to notice it and yell at me about it because im "slacking and looking like crap." Because I have no motivation. I love writing this story but lately I have had no motivation to write. last night I cut several large cuts because of stupid people and things im dealing with. Even my family hates me. my mom tells me that my cuts are ugly and my brothers tell me that they hate me and that they wish I didn't exist or live in this house...that can really make a sister sad. Do you have a brother? How would you feel if he told you that? Or if he yelled at you and liked your older sister better. everything I do they compare me to Jordan, my sister. Why cant you be like Jordan? She's better than you. Or Jordan would actually do this and you don't because "youre the most annoying sister. No you know what? You're the most annoying sister in the world." I will never forget those words. And it was all because I told him to get off of Minecraft...?  Jordan just surprise visited us and I was feeling so low I couldn't even be excited. but now that shes here all james and jesse do is talk to her and compare me even more to her. (I hate being compared to her.) And since shes been gone for so long she wants to be all nice and no arguments so shes always being nice and calm. which when she lived with us was almost never...but I have already faced the fact that everyone likes the first sister who was born and not me. I don't give a shit. I went to a pride a parade yesterday...and took pride that im bisexual...which only 3 people  knows cuz when my mom thought I was she yelled at me and didn't talk to me for a couple weeks. like she abandoned me. so I keep quiet about it. but yesterday  I told my aunty that I went with cuz shes gay. and she just enveloped me in a hug and said she was proud of me for coming and sharing with her. and that she loved me. it felt good to hear someone say that but I want to hear it from my mom. but so ya.

Anyway if I did continue this a chapter praobably wouldn't be up for awhile because im too busy dealing with a crappy life. im sorry.