His Weakness

21. Getting to know you

Everly

I stood there and watched him stomp out. I knew I could stop him and tell him the truth but I couldn't dare. The heaviness of all the jammed up feelings I've been ignoring finally hit at me, My legs felt lazy.

It suddenly dawned on me, standing there inside that hot air balloon. When Jayson said those words, it felt so wrong but right. They were the exact words words I could use to describe my undiscovered feelings. I'd thought its has been all the tension built up between us. But now that I'd stood before hardin, looking into those strikingly piercing blue eyes I realized how right those words were, how I truly felt. He makes me want to be better, makes me want to forget my own misery and drown in his peace and extreme care. And it confuses me. Scares me.

I wanted to tell him I don't feel that way towards Jayson, wanted to stop him, to tell him I feel things for him even though I don't know what it was but I was ready to figure it out. Wanted to tell him I didn't give Jayson the chance. But I hesitated. What scared me more was why I hesitated.

I plopped on the sofa and sighed. My life is a whole shit of complications, if there's anything I should stay away from it's feelings. Shit! I sprinted to the kitchen, which had already clouded with smoke. It burned my throat causing me to cough
I had forgotten to turn off the stove. I quickly turn it off and bare-handedly carried the pan off the fire. I winced and whimpered.

"Fuck." I painfully moaned. I always loose it when I get nervous about something. I stared at my fingers, they burned red. I turned the faucet and kept my hands under the water. I relievingly sighed. It felt nice.

I used the palm of my hand to dry my hair as I walked out of the bathroom. The tip of my fingers were still aching. Hardin would've pestered me to put some cream on em or do it himself. Taking care of myself was never my thing. I was always left unattended to whenever I got hurt. Someway somehow my body learned to heal on its own.

I looked up at the clock. It was few mins past 11 and Hardin was still not back. He had never gone out and stayed out so late. I hope wherever he is, he's ok. Should I just call him. I know he went out because of me and I feel so bad about it. Would he sleep out? Would he be ok? I should've just told him everything. Why did I hesitate?

I stared at the phone on the sofa, pondering between calling him or not. Finally I decided I was going to wait for him anyway so there's no need calling him. I got some snacks and munch on them. I couldn't even have a proper supper because I ended up burning it up.

Should I just call him? 30 mins passed and he still wasn't back. I yawned. I know at this point, sleep was creeping over me. My eyes shut slowly and I went blank.

"Hey." A hand nudge my shoulder gently. My eyes fluttered as I tried to get a clear picture of the one before me.

"Hardin? You're back" I was still drunk with sleep.

He sighed, "How can I leave you alone when you can't even get a proper sleep. Let's go to bed."

"I missed you...Are you ok?" Did I just say that? The sleep must've worked a number on me.

"Only say that when you are sober, I would believe you then. And I'm ok. I'm gonna carry you alright?"

I gave him a nod, my eyes already half closed. He picked me up bridal style and strolled upstairs. I stared at his bulky chest just above me, his chiselled jaw, his heartbeat throbbing evenly. I wrap my arms around his neck. He stared down at me and then looked away.