Love Persist

Kabanata 23 - Never be familiar with longing, as it is neither friend nor enemy.

All of a sudden, I felt like the cafeteria was too small for me to blend in with everyone else. And once again, I felt the weight of those eyes fixed upon me. They demanded my attention, but I remained resolute, mindful of the delicate balance we were treading. I reminded myself not to provoke unnecessary conflict, for it had the tendency to unravel the fragile fabric of our current predicament. Therefore, I ignored her piercing gaze as she observed me, despite the surreal and otherworldly sensation that accompanied it. I also allowed her silent yet urgent and enticing plea to hang in the air, knowing that it would eventually dissipate into nothingness.

I could tell what she wanted; I wasn't clueless. But I could also tell that she wasn't ready to express it and was unsure about doing so. I clearly understood where she was coming from; it must have been really confusing for her with so much going on in her mind. I couldn't help but hope for her to figure things out and come to a resolution with whatever she was dealing with. I knew it wasn't an easy process, which is why I made a point to give her the time and space she needed. I was just hoping that it would be enough for her to reach a place of certainty and acceptance.

Given the circumstances of today being the last day of the final semester week before Christmas break, and considering everything going on, she most likely has a lot on her plate right now. She was definitely in need of something to prioritize. It was exactly what I needed to do, too. I had a bunch of things on my agenda, like meeting with the university regents for a budget discussion and a later appointment with my client.

I nearly forgot that I made a promise to Cerise to hang out with her after my schedule. She would be leaving for Christmas vacation in two days, so I wanted to take advantage of our time together before she left. Our family had decided to fly to Hawaii for Christmas vacation, which was Aunt Morgan's idea because she pointed out that it had been a while since we all celebrated Christmas together. My mom, being born and raised in the U.S., was not hesitant to accept the invitation, as she also missed the wintery Christmas back home. The plan was for everyone to go together. Unfortunately, I didn't think I would be able to go with them. I had to stay behind due to the heavy workload in my professionally demanding field that was almost reaching its deadlines and required my immediate attention.

As soon as my appointment was over, I reached out to Simeon via text, asking him if he could give me a ride to my condo so that I could grab my car to drive to the subdivision. As I ascended to the second floor of the building where my office was situated, I abruptly came to a halt. I was taken aback by the sight of Heaven outside my office, walking back and forth in a frantic manner. She looked completely lost in her own thoughts or perhaps caught in some sort of dilemma. I watched her momentarily, finding it slightly entertaining how she fidgeted with her fingers while doing restless movements. Honestly, she looked silly with what she was doing, so I decided to go along with it. I quickly pulled out my phone, recorded a 10-second video of her, and texted Simeon, saying he didn't have to pick me up since I could just get a taxi myself.

When I pulled up and parked my car, Cerise came running out of the house and waited for me to get out. I didn't keep her waiting too long when I hopped out of the car to greet her and wrapped her in my arms. I snuggled my face against her hair, and the scent of buttery bread filled my nostrils. I was certain that she used shampoo with the fragrance of chamomile, so it didn't make sense for her hair to smell like butter and syrup.

"Hey, Mom, you arrived at the perfect moment! Grandma and I were just whipping up some pancakes for our snack!" she blurted out while pulling away from our hug.

That explained why she smelled like that.

"Really? Where is Grandma and Grandpa?" I asked as I gently brushed away a few stray strands of her freshly trimmed bangs.