His Forbidden Love

Chapter Thirty Four

Allegra Genova POV

Four days later

Today was the first day of my little baby's birthday week. I couldn't go out there and face all of them. I knew her death was my fault since I didnt take care of myself but if I just havent walked in when he was fucking Nicki I wouldnt been as sad as I was, if he didnt say this was all a lie and that he used me for both his pleasure and for his plan I wouldnt been as sad as I was that day. I cried myself to sleep and then got woken up by knocking on the door.

"Allegra are you ok in there?" I heard Dimitri say from the other side of the door.

"If you don't answer I will break down the door" He said.

"LEAVE ME ALONE" I yelled at him and I think he was shocked because he didn't say anything back instead he just walked away from the door and I just kept crying. I got up and looked at the yellow envelope and at the picture. How could I be that stupid to not care about my babies health, I just ignored the cries and screams my body was sending me. I looked at the picture and smiled when I tried to imagine her again.

The black hair and gray eyed girl came up again, she looked like an angel and a beautiful one. She was smiling at me and those dimples got out and I imagined myself hugging her and she hugged me back tightly and it just felt so real that my body got goosebumps. I got up and looked around for pen and paper and when I found them on the nightstand I started to write.

Hey angel, its mom again

It has been seven years since you passed away in my belly, I'm sorry that you didn't even get the chance to see the world and I'm sorry for being a selfish mom. I hope you forgive me and I hope you love me because I love you so much, beautiful angel.

I don't know how I will ever live my life knowing I will never see you or even get to hold you in my arms, today or in this week you would have turned seven. You would just see what things I would do on your birthdays, every year I would throw one of the biggest parties just for you and your birthday. You would have worn a beautiful pink dress that I forced you to wear and do your hair and I would try and match you.

But let's not forget this year you have finished the first grade of school and you would have started in grade two. I know you would be the smartest kid in your school since you got your moms brains. I would've taken you out for dessert time and bought you all the sweets just for finishing the first grade, also like my mom did your abuela or nonna whatever you want to call her.

Abuelo or nonno would have cherished you and told you that you're smart because you got his brains but we both know who is correct, he would tell you all of those dad jokes and he would love you so would abuela or nonna.

You and Adelina would be best friends just like me and your aunty Alina are, and we would take you guys everywhere and always go shopping with each other, you uncle will be doing pranks with you and Adelina on me and everyone else in the house until he goes a bit to far with a prank on Roberto and you all would be running away from him.

Life would have been so much better if you were here with me and I know I haven't given you any name yet. It's because I haven't really thought about it but now I know the perfect name for you. Angelica, since you look like an angel and you are so pure I thought it would be perfect.

Now it's the time I hate the most, the goodbye. I will write to you next year Angel and please forgive me.

I wrote while the tears started to flow from my eyes. I sat on the bed and reread the letter I just wrote to Angel, feeling so pissed off at myself. If I were not selfish we would have everything I was writing and not just imagining it. I just couldn't stop thinking about the what if's because I knew this was my fault, also Dimitri's fault and a little bit of the others as well but mostly mine. I went back to sleep and just couldn't stop thinking of Angelica.