The Happiest Homes In These Hills

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We open to a canvas art of the city of Gotham, the fishing capital of the city. As we ended the view of the artwork, we turned to the forest, where everything is now in live action. Voices started to talk.

Woman 1: Dickie.

Woman 2: Where'd he go?

A boy named Dick Grayson is floating in the air.

Woman 3: He must have went that-a-way. Dickie.

Woman 4: I'll wring his neck!

Man: Dickie. Dickie.

Dick: (whispers) Elliott, put me down.

Elliot, the invisible friend, puts Dick down and saw the bushes moving. He heard five girls and a man chattering and a woman's voice.

Woman 5: Spread out!

Dick: They're getting closer. We better hide. (He ran off somewhere to hide. He felt a thump behind him.) Stop swinging your tail you almost knock me down. (He walk to an open tree and he look at something.) Here they come.

He hides in the tree and ducks down to stay hidden. His adoptive family, Lord Marmaduke Ffogg, Lady Penelope Peasoup, Lady Prudence, and their female students: Duchess, Kit, Daisy, and Rosamond appears in a dramatic way. The music starts to play as they walk. They yell in exclaim. They continue to walk and yell in exclaim again.

Lady Peasoup: He's gone that-a-way.

Lord Ffogg: He's went this-a-way

Girls: He's up a tree

Both: I think!

Lady Peasoup: Oh, Dickie. Oh, Dickie. Where are you? Please come back. Oh, Dickie. Oh, Dickie.

Both: You're like a son to us We miss you. We miss you.

Lady Peasoup: If I get near him you can bet I won't miss him with this. (Singing) I'll cook you cake and gingerbread, bring you tea in bed, on a tray

Lord Ffogg: We'll slave while you go fishin', you'll get permission to run and play

Lady Peasoup: These tears oughta show you I care, come back,

All: by crackin' we"ll share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills

Lady Peasoup: Go find him.

Girls: Gonna stag him, gag him, drag him through town, put his head in the river, let the
pup drown Trap him, strap him, wrap him in a sack, yeah Tie him screamin' to a railroad track (laughing)

Lord Ffogg: We'll have you sing in chapel, you'll be the apple of Lady Peasoup's eye

Lady Peasoup: I'll tend to all you sewing, and do your mowing, so just rely on me

All: Dang, we know you're out there, it's late!
We're waiting to share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills

The girls danced a little with their weapons.

Girls: Gonna paw him, saw him in half, when he cries out for mercy, we'll just laugh Beat him, heat him, eat him for desert, yeah

Lady Peasoup: Roast him gently so the flames won't hurt, yeah

They spread out to find Dick. Dick looks up and saw the girls coming. He ducked down.

Dick: Squish down!

Elliot squishes down. Duchess stands on the log of the tree while looking for Dick.

Kit: Dickie.

Dick sees that his invisible friend is about to swing his tail.

Dick: (whispering) No don't!

A rustle came from the bushes and a thud hits Rosamond, Kit, Lady Prudence, and Daisy into the mud. Duchess laughs at them.

Rosamond: Something hit us!

Duchess: What something?

Daisy: If I knowed what something, I wouldn't call it "something," I'd call it by its name.

Dick: I told you not to swing your tail. (Duchess continues to laugh) No, no, don't!

The thud hits Duchess and she landed in the mud. The girls laughed at her. They started to fight with each other.

Lady Prudence: You done it!

Lord Ffogg sees them fighting.

Lord Ffogg: Girls, enough! Fighting it out while that little snake of a kid gets further away!

He fell in the mud. Lady Peasoup sees them in the mud.

Lady Peasoup: Now why are y'all playing in the mud when you know we gotta find that boy? He's gotta be around here somewhere. Find him!

Lady Prudence: Aw, Aunt Penelope! Why don't we just go on back home and do some eating?

Lady Peasoup: I'll tell you, 'cause you ain't gonna do no eating until you find that little brat! (A loud smack made Lady Peasoup scream and fell in the mud.) Who done that?

They laughed at her. Lady Peasoup throws mud at her brother.

Duchess: Hey, Lady Peasoup, why don't we just get ourselves another orphan, huh?

Lady Peasoup: Because I done paid our last $50 for Dick, plus 50 cents legal fees. And we ain't got another $50 plus legal, that's why! Do you understand? (They shake their head which means no.) Well, here's something you will understand. You're gonna have to start working the farm with your own two hands less'n you spot that little twerp. And get me out of this here mud hole, Marmaduke. Come on. I'm stuck. Don't just sit around in it. Come on. Get me out of here.

Dick looks up and saw that his abusive family are about to leave.

Girls: Dickie!

Both: Dickie! Dickie! Dickie!

All: (singing) You'll swim, and you'll go campin', you'll be a champ in your own backyard
Our love is overflowin', it keeps on goin'
We'll sleep good knowin' you're hooooooome, in these hills

Girls: We're gonna string him from a tree

Both: In these hills

Girls: We're gonna sting him like a bee

Both: In these hills

Girls: We're gonna spill him on his head

Both: In these hills

Girls: We're gonna fill him full of lead

All: In these hills
In these hills
In these hills
In these hills
In these hills

Dick looks up and his cruel family already leave. He looks at Elliot.

Dick: We better stay here. I'm tired, aren't you? (Elliot mumbling sleepily) Good night, Elliot.

Dick went to sleep in the tree.

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