the incident with rich happened a week ago but every time he touches me i flinch. i'm scared and i don't think i wont ever be. what he did wasn't right and i think the kids have noticed a difference between us.
the thing is i cant do anything about it. my kids happiness matters more to me than my own. and we have a baby on the way that i actually have an appointment for today.
rich can't go because he has a meeting at the same time so im going alone. the girls went to their friends house so i dont have to worry about them.
when i got to the doctors office they called me back.
N "hello adele! how are you today."
A "i'm doing pretty well. how about your self."
N "im doing well."
N "you ready to see your baby?"
A "absolutely."
N "okay. oh and where's rich?"
A "he had a meeting at the same time so he wasn't able to make it."
N "oh"
the nurse put the gel on my stomach and started looking at the screen.
A "why don't i hear my baby's heart beat?"
N "adele im s-"
A "it's gone isn't it."
N "im afraid so."
A "what did i do."
N "you did nothing. it was just a regular miscarriage. there is nothing that you could have done."
A "okay"
N "i am very sorry." she hands me something to wipe off the gel.
i sit in there for a while and let the tears fall. why does this have to happen to me and my family?
after a while of sitting there and crying i made myself get it together.
while i was in the doctors office i got a text from rich saying that he was on his way home.
i check his location and it said that he was pulling up to our house.
how do i tell him that im not pregnant anymore? he's going to be devastated.
i just got home and dropped my things off in the kitchen. i heard our shower going to i made my way up to our bedroom.
im scared that he might hurt me when i tell him the news but i have to.
i walk into the bathroom and he doesn't hear me.
A "hey"
R "oh hi baby"
R "im almost done. when i get out i want to hear about your appointment"
shit
A "okay."
after about ten minutes i hear the bathroom door open and he has towel around his lower half.
R "hey baby" he leans and kisses me since im sitting on the bed. he sits down next to me and makes eye contact with me.
R "everything okay?"
A "no"
R "why what's wrong."
A "it's about my appointment"
R "what happened."
A "im not pregnant anymore rich." i start to cry and he hugs me. i cry into his shoulder not being able to control it.
he sits there speechless and i feel terrible.
A "im sorry it's my fault."
R "no it's not"
A "yes it is."
R "adele look at me."
i look up and see his sad eyes. there sad because of me.
R "you are the most amazing mother and wife anyone could ever dream of. i love you so much that i hurt when i see you upset. you bring me so much joy when i get to see you parent our daughters. i know this isn't how we wanted it to go but it's not your fault and i can promise you that. i know you and you would never try to do that. i love you baby and so do your daughters."
A "do you love me rich? do you really?" i can't turn back now...
R "what do you mean?"
A "i mean last week and this time we were sitting in these exact same places and you pushed me down on the bed and started ripping my clothes off. then if that wasn't bad enough you tried to fuck me without my consent."
R bab-"
A "no rich i don't need it. every time im around you im scared. im scared that you might hurt me again or that you will hurt our children. i had so much trust in you and that took a while to build back up after your thing with your client. but it left so quickly again."
R "adele you know i didn't mean to hurt you and i would never do it again."
A "i can't do this anymore."
R "what do you mean?"
A "i mean we are.....
