I will take a smokes break, hand cream, then tell you about .. a tarot card reading. brb (white journal.) ... back.. i forgot the hand cream, but i snuck some cheese from dinner so that'll do.
Now then. When I was about 18 years old, Liane and I met some very lovely men who were a gay couple who selled cakes and practiced reiki energy healing and awesome things like that, and we made good friends with them!! They were called Sasha and Charlie. They were a very spiritual couple and once they did a tarot reading on me: Sachas was first but unfortunately the deck had the hanged man, as always, the devil and the 5 or 7 of swords for me, which is my result every time I try that deck.. Charlie went next. He had an Angel tarot deck. We prayed first and did the reading and he held my hands while we prayed and asked God's Holy Angels for help... the first card said i'd find my true love. This was true. The second said that I was going to have another baby - a baby boy, and i had no idea but i was a few months pregnant at the time, and the third said i would go through the most difficult and malicious thing that anyone would ever have to experience in thier lives, and i had to stay faithful and strong, and God would decide how it ended but it was unknown as to whether i'd make it out alive or not... which was COMFORTING!!! And that too came true.
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I never told you about my friends. I've never had many friends but i had a few very close friends growing up. my first friend was Michael Watson - a young man along the Aspergers and Autistic spectrum who was bullied just as badly as I was and also had the same learning difficulties as me and he was the funniest, most witty, most hillarious and the lovliest and sweetest and gentlest of all gentleman i have ever known and i loved him dearly, and he had to go to a special school for boys by the time secondary school started and i carried on without him, but met him years later when we were adults and we were just as close... and i miss him a lot.
my other best friend was called Liane Millington who used to be the school bully but she never did anything other than nod and smile at me and bully everyone else in existance, well, one day i found she was bullying my little sister Charlotte so i want up to her and asked her please not to and she said of course she would never be mean to charlie again, she would NEVEr bully me for she could see that I was just the sweetest most lovely and the kindest of all the girls she's ever met and she knew i'd never harm a fly - she asked em to have lunch with her and we were friends from then on!!!!
I met Julien when doing an extras casting for a film. (50 euros for the day shoots adn 100 per night.) and he was probably the closest friend i ever had aside from Zac Stibbs and my martinez... he kept wanting a relationship but i always said we were best off as freinds which he was very accepting of, and as friends we were the perfect best friends! We mainly played MTG (magic the gathering) at ALL. TIMES. and i am highly tallented at MTG and have only ever been won against by one person. Still, Julien never got tired of trying... he was like that!
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my Martinez spoke to me telapathically when I was with Sam van Maris... and I have never been so in love with anyone or fallen so hard in my life, i was in love with him with the very first thing he said to me, "There are angels everywhere in here. I can see them." he made me laugh outload and he comforted me and he made me proud and he would fight to get my children back and he was real... and we decided to be in a realtionship. He said he would be my lawyer. I left Sam for him. I found out later.. he was infact Noise. The Noise i had spoken to online, and had photos of, my first love and still my love now more than ever and forevermore, for my Guardian Angel spoke to me when I asked his name and he said, "Michael. I am he. I have become a man for you. my name as a man is Theodore."
I called him my martinez because that was how his name sounded when he was actually saying, "my guardian Angel is and my Guardian Angel says."
On the night i ended it with sam, he unmasked himself as a cult member... he and "manon" continued to try to stab me to death all through the night and smother you, and then Theodore (Michael) was in the room with me and took thier lives... i fell asleep, and their bodies were taken out of the apparetment, and i just......... woke up... with Jesus standing by my side his hand on my heart.... he had breathed life back into me... i walked out of the room and there were a new and different "sam" and "manon" standing there... looking the same, sounding the same, acting the same but NOT the same people, and then i started to try to figure out how they did it... faked thier identity. I looked around thier throats and saw...................... a thin lining... of a dead face mask. That was the first clue ... when I left Sam's, I went to a youth hostel, from the Youth hostel to esch-zur-alzette hospital for a week and then from there to a hotel where i stayed for 50 euros overnight, and this was where CARLOS: THE TRUE HORROR STORY started.
