Racing Andrius

Peter: Regret

I pulled into the empty spot next to Andrius' motorcycle and after a minute, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Andrius was calling. With a sigh, I pressed the receive call button.

"Hey Andrius, what's up?" I said,

"Hey, not much, just wanting to check where you were? Your mom went to bed a while ago."

"I'm back on campus, I was dropping her off. I'm going to make my way back soon."

"Alright, no rush. Make sure to stay safe." Andrius said then hung up.

I sighed as I put my phone into one of the cupholders and proceeded to back out of the parking spot. A few cars were left on the road on the way back home and as I drove, the thoughts of what had happened earlier that night flowed through my mind. Then I scoffed, Who would have thought this is how my supposedly peaceful weekend would go. By the time I arrived back home, it was already midnight and after walking inside after parking my car, I was surprised to see Andrius sitting in the living room still awake.

"Still not going to bed?" I said sitting down next to him

"Been waiting for you. Heard from your mom that these blind dates only last half an hour. Seeing you spent much longer, I assume it went much better?"

I sighed, "The girl my mom set me up with, we actually met a while back." Perhaps I'll leave out that we are in the same business law class. 

"Really? What a coincidence...then I guess no wonder it went so well." 

"Could you tell my mom to not arrange dates for me at O'Henry's, I feel like those people know me by now." I said, attempting to change the subject,

"Would you say she is your type?" Andrius said ignoring me.

I sighed, "Sort of? I guess I think of her too much as a friend."

"Perhaps you should ask her to prom."

"Why?"

"Maybe after a few dates and prom, you might take a liking to her."

I stared at Andrius confused as to whether or not he was joking. He never usually was this excited or interested in these kinds of things, "You seem more enthusiastic about getting me a girlfriend than my mom."

"I just feel like its about time you did. After apparently over 10 with several different girls, still no one."

"Did you know, Morgan was there on the day of the accident..."

"What?" Andrius said his smile fading and I felt a pang of regret. Probably should have saved this conversation for later. Well, too late now...

"I heard it from Eva, she told me that Morgan was her roommate and according to her story, she was in the car that was behind yours and saw the truck hit your car..."

"Did Eva say anything else?"

"No, probably have to go to Morgan herself."

"Probably..." Andrius muttered

"It's getting late," I said, "Wanna head to bed? I can show you to the guest-"

"It's fine doesn't your room have a bunk bed. I'll sleep on the bottom bunk."

"Ok," I said automatically then realized that the top bunk was always where Charlie used to sleep. Did you plan this specifically or are you just afraid you'll roll out of the top bunk... I thought silently then decided not to ask.   

I lay in bed, the tiredness long gone from my eyes. I could hear Andrius snoring softly in the bunk below. Seems like it will be another sleepless night... I thought and reached out to touch the ceiling. It was cool and a little rough then the conversation earlier last night replayed in mind.

"Where did you get that?" Eva said admiring the crescent moon necklace hanging from the rearview mirror. 

I made a deep sigh and from underneath the pillow pulled out a another necklace that had a large circular stone with many tendrils going around the rim as if it were a sun. I delicately touched the stone and recalled the day that Charlie got the necklaces. 

"Peter, guess what I got from the market?" Charlie smiled while pulling out a brown bag from out behind him.

"What?"

"Necklaces!"

"What? Why necklaces?"

"Don't give me that face. I got a moon for you and a sun for me. They even slot into each other. Try it on!" Charlie said giving me the one with the moon on it while he put on his. "Isn't it cool?"

"Another way for people to tell us apart as twins and from the crowd." I muttered

"Oh don't be like that. It's fun!"

My finger halted on a large crack on the bottom edge of the stone. The memory flashed in my mind and I winced remembering the sound it made when Charlie threw it at the wall. 

"How many times have I told you to mind your own business? I am going to this competition no matter what you say."

"If you're trying to be famous this is not the way. The chances of winning are small and the roads are really slippery these days. Not to mention its gonna be a cliffside race."

"Are you still upset about the time I asked you to go to one of my night classes and I raced under your name without you knowing?"

"You think I'm that petty? I am talking about safety and here you are talking about me holding on to grudges."

"Isn't that what you do best? Mr. People-pleaser?" 

I remember feeling so angry and frustrated that I just blurted without thinking, "If you really die then go, see if I care."

I put down the necklace, my chest feeling heavy. Why did I say that...I should have found a better way...maybe if I had been...

I sighed and got up. Going into a mental spiral won't do any good. I quietly opened the bathroom door and after closing it, I turned on the light. I looked in the mirror and I could almost trick myself into seeing Charlie's face. His face was shorter than mine and a little wider. His nose was also shorter and more upturned than mine. Another feature was that his eyes were a little wider, but all these differences at first glance seemed like nothing. 

"Would you have gone if I said something different?" I said to my reflection and I could almost hear his response. 

"Probably not." He said,

"If father never...left...do you think we would be as close as we used to be?" My reflection didn't respond that time so I laughed softly, "I bet lot of things wouldn't have changed..." I made a deep sigh before turning off the light and exiting the bathroom. 

I silently got into bed and tried to get some sleep despite having the feeling I won't be sleeping at all.