Silent : Unveiling the Turmoil of a Teenage Heart

CHAPTER 4

SOORI

I'm almost running through the halls of the hospital. I follow the paramedic member that's leading me and my brothers to our mom. I hear my phone ringing. I take it out of my back pocket as I keep walking. It's Noah. I answer the call and place my phone against my ear.

"Hey."

"Ri, what happened?"

"My mom had a seizure, I'm in the hospital right now."

"Just out of nowhere?"

"Yes, she was fine this morning."

My father comes up to me. "Soori, let's go get something to eat. You haven't eaten anything but a few bites of an apple today." "Okay, I'll be right there."

"I'll call you back later, Noah."

"It'll be okay, Ri. Bye."

"Bye."

But it wasn't okay. That day was where it all started.

Me and my father are getting some food from the snack machine. I get a protein bar, since it's the only good looking thing in the machine. After I got my food, we walk back to the waiting room. My father, my brothers and me are waiting for a doctor to tell us what's wrong with my mother. A nurse approaches us. We all stand up. "Is she okay?" I ask with a worried look on my face. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your mother did not make it." The nurse tells me.

I think I'm gonna throw up. This can't be. "But how? She was fine this morning." San asks. "Nicole had a seizure. A seizure can cause a person to have pauses in their breathing. If these pauses last too long, it can reduce the oxygen levels in the blood to a life-threatening point. Nicole's pauses were way too long, causing her to suffocate." The nurse told us.

What. The. Fuck.

I need to leave. I have to go now. I leave my dad and brothers behind and speed walk outside. I need to talk to Noah. I need to talk to someone other than my family right now. That might sound weird, but I need someone to reassure me right now, not someone to cry with.

I call Noah and wait for him to answer.
He finally picks up. "Hello?" I hear him say.

"Noah." "What happened?"

"My mom died."

___

That was a two years ago. Mom has been gone for two years. I turned sixteen about three months ago. San and Jae's eighteenth birthday just passed. Dad is trying his best on his own. He's doing great.

After mom's death, I really struggled. I didn't go to school for three weeks. I kept getting memories of my mom on that floor, unconscious and pale. The moment I went back to school, I had to get back on track. I missed a lot of tests. I had to catch up on five tests in one week. That caused me lots of stress.

That's when I started cutting. Because of grief, stress. I felt like I deserved that. I felt alone. I had no one to talk to when I was angry at my dad or my brothers. No one understood when I wanted to talk about my girl problems.

And school, if I just went to school, I would've just been on track. It would've been hard, but it wouldn't have caused as much stress as I had in that period.