Silent : Unveiling the Turmoil of a Teenage Heart

CHAPTER 12

TRIGGER WARNING : MENTION OF SELF-HARM

SOORI

"We're almost there." Elijah says, breaking the silence. "Why can't you just tell me where you're taking me?" I smile at him. It's cute that he's trying to hide it from me, trying to surprise me with this. I am really curious. "Okay, close your eyes." He takes a sharp turn to the right, which shocks me. I do as he says and close my eyes.

"Okay, open." I open my eyes, only to see a beautiful beach. And I know beaches are casual, but it was beautiful. The water was a clear, the sky was a bright blue, the sun was shining and I had a pretty boy next to me. "Oh my God.." I whisper. "Pretty, right?" He unbuckles his seatbelt. "It's beautiful." I also unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door.

I get out of the car and walk over to the beautiful beach. More and more sand fills up my shoe with every step I take. I normally hate the feeling, but right now it feels good.

I haven't been to the beach since mom's death. I used to go to the beach with her a lot, and that's why I kept avoiding it. It was our thing. I thought I wasn't ready for it, but now that I'm here, I feel amazing. The soft sand, the blue water and the warm sun. It reminds me of our family beach day when I was nine. My parents were there, my brothers and Noah and his parents came along. That was one of the best days of my life, no doubt.

I feel Elijah's presence behind me. His hands wrap around my waist and he rests his face in the crook of my neck. "I took you here because I wanted to talk about something with you." Oh God, that makes me nervous. "Okay.."

Elijah takes me a a little closer to the water where we sit down in the sand. He was sitting beside me. I had my knees up to my chest. I took my socks and shoes off, letting my feet rest in the soft sand. Elijah did the same. "So, Soo." "Mhm?" "I wanted to talk about us, about this." He starts. I think I know where this is going.

"Soo, you're an amazing girl. You're pretty, you're smart, you're kind. I like you a lot. And I like how you're not popular at school. I hate all those popular girls, they're always all over me. You're into me for me, and not just because I'm popular. You're a sweet girl, Soori." He says. "I really like you too, Elijah. Thank you for saying all that." I'm getting all red and hot again. At least I now know he likes me back for sure.

"And I wanted to ask if you wanted to take this to the next level." He turns to me. What does he mean by that? Does he want a relationship? "What do you mean?" I also turn to him. I look him in the eye. God, those eyes. "Like exclusive. I want you all to myself."

Oh. My. Goodness.

"Elijah, are you sure? Don't you want to get to know each other a little more?" "I think I already know a lot about you, Soo."

Oh, Elijah. The things you don't know..

"I mean, I would love to be exclusive with you. But, I want to at least take it slow. I don't want to go too fast. Are you okay with that?" I suggest, also unsure of what I'm saying. My mind is just blank right now. I don't even know what I feel. I hear what Elijah says and I see him in front of me. I just can't feel anything. I do like him a lot. But this is just from zero to a hundred in no time.

"Depends. How long do I have to wait to kiss your pretty lips?" He slowly comes a little closer. "We don't have to wait for that. I want to wait with other things." I say. "Hm, what's that?" I see him staring at my lips. "Like saying 'I love you' and other things.." He's still staring. But as soon as he catches me looking at him, his eyes immediately shoot back up. "What other things?" He teases, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. "You know. Just..sex. I don't want to have sex until I'm completely ready." I say, feeling a little embarrassed and unsure. "That's okay, babe. I can wait for that. Can I at least kiss you now?" He asks, getting closer and closer.

I slowly nod. Elijah leans in, grabbing the back of my head to pull me in. We slowly move closer to each other, and suddenly I feel soft lips pressed against mine. The kiss is nice and slow. My hands move to his shoulders, and his travel down to the small of my back. I fully wrap my arms around him. I slowly release my lips from his and look him in the eyes.

"Are you mine?" He asks. I hesitate. If I say this, I'll be stuck to him. We'll be together. He'll be my boyfriend. I'll be his girlfriend. This choice is bigger than I thought. But, this is what I wanted. Elijah Whitlock, actually wanting me. Liking me. Loving me. "I'm yours."

Elijah and I stay on the beach for a little longer. I can't believe it. I'm with Elijah now. He's all mine. And I'm all his. I can't wait to tell my friends. And maybe this will help me. Make me a little happier. Maybe I'll cut less. Maybe I'll even stop. Okay, that's going a little far. I don't know if I can stop.

I didn't know that time could go by this fast. It's already 5:03 PM. I still have to eat dinner and I have to get to the cafe to meet my friends. "Oh shit, I have to go home." I say, kind of disappointed I couldn't stay longer. "Already?" He says in a whiny tone. "Yes, I'm sorry. I still have to eat dinner and meet my friends." I reply. I had my head on his shoulder the entire afternoon. But, now it's time to take it off. I lift my head off of his shoulder and look at him. "Okay, baby. Who are you meeting tonight?" He asks as he wraps one of his arms around my waist. "Noah, Lily and Sam. Who else?" I chuckle. No seriously, who else would I hang out with? They are literally my only friends.

"Hm, okay. Well, come on. I have to drive you home." He takes his socks and shoes and puts them back on. I do the same. Elijah gets up with a groan. I slowly get up and follow him to the car.

Even though I said yes, I'm actually not sure if I'm ready for a relationship. I feel like this is pretty fast. I mean, I like Elijah, but this was our first time hanging out and now we're exclusive? That's fast. But, I can't go back now. I guess I'll have to find out if I'm ready or not.

When we reached the car, Elijah opened the door for me. "Thank you." I said in a soft voice. I got in the car and put my seatbelt on. He walked around the car to get to the other side. His tanned skin, muscular arms, dark curls and brown eyes. He's so pretty. I smile at him, even though he doesn't see it. He sits down in the drivers seat and starts the car.

We drive to my house, saying a few words to each other every now and then. When we arrive, Elijah turns to me. "Thank you for this afternoon." He says, placing his hand on my thigh again. "No, thank you. I really enjoyed it." I reply as I put my hand over his. "Me too." After that short sentence, he purses his lips, signing he wants a kiss. I lean in and give him a small peck on the lips. "And now like you mean it." He smirks at me. I giggle and lean back in for a more passionate kiss. He squeezes my thigh and rubs it after. I pull away from the kiss. "Okay. Have fun tonight." He says in a soft voice. "I will. Thank you for the drive." I smile at him as I unbuckle my seatbelt. "No problem, Soo." He lets go of my thigh. I get out of the car and tell him goodbye. I close the car door and walk to my front door. I wanted to turn and wave at him, but he was gone before I could do that.

I'm not used to that. When Noah drives me home, he always waits for me. Noah always tells me it's to make sure I get inside safe, because anything could happen. Even at your front porch. Why didn't Elijah do that? Did he want to leave? Didn't he want to wait for me?