Silent : Unveiling the Turmoil of a Teenage Heart

CHAPTER 21

SAM

It's Sunday today. The fight with my parents and the call with Rafe was yesterday. I haven't said a single word to my parents yet. They haven't tried to talk to me either. I only came downstairs to eat and drink. I would take the food and drinks up to my room. I am basically avoiding my parents.

It's 8:28 PM. I'm laying down on my bed, watching Baby Reindeer on Netflix. It's a crazy series. I can't believe it's based on a true story. That poor man went through a lot. Seeing my own trauma come back in the series was a little hard, but it did make me realize I'm not alone. There are more men like me.

I get interrupted by a knock on my door. Oh, fuck. I know it's my parents. I don't want to talk about everything with them again. It's just going to turn into another argument and I'm really not in the mood for that. But I can't ignore it now. I have to open the door for them, because they will just barge in if I don't do it. I pause the series and get up from my bed. I open the bedroom door, revealing two sad looking people.

My father with a guilty look on his face. My mother looking down at the floor, probably disappointed in herself. "We need to talk about it." My father starts. "I'm not in the mood for another argument." I tell them. "We're not here for an argument, Samuel." Mother looks up at me. I sigh and step aside, letting them enter my room. They slowly walk in and I close the door behind them.

I sit down in my 'office' chair, my parents sit down on my bed. I lean back in my chair, waiting for one of them to say something. "Rafe contacted us." Father starts. That fucking snitch. "Oh? What'd he say?" I ask, knowing exactly what he said. "We never knew you felt this way." Mother cried. "You did. You just never cared." I look at her with an unbothered expression on my face. "We did care, Sam." Mother denies. "Stop lying, Mom." I rub my eyes. "We tried to." Father breaks in. "Didn't seem like it." "Rafe told us about your disorders and your fears. Why didn't you ask for help?" Mother tries to grab my hands, but I pull away. "I went to the GP with you guys. You were there when I got diagnosed. You could've helped me, but you never did. You guys were to busy worrying about Rafe's school career and your own work." I snapped. "Do you know how important these jobs are, Samuel?" Father raised his voice. "More important than your own child?" I stood up and raised my voice louder than his.

Both my parents looked at me with a surprised expression on their faces. "Do you know how fucking unwanted I feel?" I explode. I never yell at my parents. What has gotten into me? Mother starts to cry and father looks at me with an angry expression. But that doesn't stop me. I want them to feel the way I've felt for the past seventeen years. Scared, angry, hopeless and unwanted. I pour out all my feelings. "I don't feel good here. It's like I'm living in a house with two total strangers! You guys barely talk to me. You only talk to me when you need something from me. You two barely even know me!" I clamor. "We know a lot about you." Mother's voice breaks. "What's my best friends name?" I ask. My parents look at each other, then back at me. My mother shakes her head, not knowing the answer. "It's Noah, Mom." A single tear leaves my eye. "This doesn't feel like a home anymore. I have a house, but not a home. Do you understand what I'm saying?" My voice cracks. "Then leave." My father softly says. "What?" I ask. "Then leave." Father repeats himself, louder this time. "Dante, no." My mother grabs my father's arm. "You don't want to be here, right? Then leave, Samuel." My father stands up, his face full of anger. I stare at him with disbelief. "Leave my room." I snarl. "This is not your room anymore." Father laughs in my face. "I want to pack my shit in peace, Dante!" I shout. Dante, because Dante is not my father anymore. He might be my father my blood, but not by heart.

Father leaves the room and slams the door shut. Mother still sitting on the bed. Red, puffy eyes. A face full of regret. "Please leave, Mom." My voice cracks again. "Please don't leave, baby." Mother cries. "Sorry. I can't be here any longer." I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. It's really not your fault. I'll talk to Dad and it will all be okay. I promise." Mother cups my face, forcing me to look at her. The moment I see her this close to me, I break down. Mother pulls me into her embrace. I cry into her shoulder.

"I'm going to talk to your Dad downstairs. Just pack your things, baby. Just in case." Mother tells me. I know she doesn't agree with this. "Okay." I mouth. Mother runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead. I give her one last smile before she leaves the room. And there I am, all alone, packing my things. Not for college, not because I'm moving out. Because I got kicked out. 'Packing my shit in peace' is no longer an option, because all I hear is my parents fighting.

"You can't do this! He's our only son now. Rafe already left and now you're making Sam leave too? Please, Dante." My mother begs. "He doesn't want to be here anymore, Claudia! He probably doesn't even see us as his parents anymore. Did you not hear him? To him, we're two total strangers." Father fumed with anger.

I grab my phone. I need a place to stay. I scroll through my contacts.

noah 🤟🏻

I click on the call button. Noah answers the phone. "Hey, man." I say as I press the phone against my ear. "Hey, what's up?" Noah asks. "I need your help." I start. "With what?" I explain the entire situation to him, my eyes slowly starting to fill up with tears. "Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm going to ask my mom if you can stay here right now, hang on." I wait as Noah asks his mother if I can stay with them. "Mom said you can stay as long as you want. Do you need me to pick you up?" Noah asks. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you so much, Noah. I really appreciate this." I thank him as I wipe my tears. "Of course. I'll be at your place in ten minutes." Noah and I say our goodbyes and hang up the phone. I finish packing my things in a small suitcase. I check if I have everything. After that, I close the suitcase and carry it downstairs with me.

When I reach downstairs, my parents immediately stop arguing. "Noah is picking me up in ten minutes." I say. "Good." Dante says. He walks away. My mother's eyes follow him, but she doesn't move. When Dante is completely out of sight, she turns to me "Come here." She whispers. I let go of my suitcase and walk over to my mother. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight. "It's all going to be okay. I'll try and call you as much as I can. We can text everyday. I'm going to try to be there for you, Sam. I will try, I promise." Mother sobs as she rubs my back. "It's okay, Mom." I slowly pull away from her hug. I suddenly hear a honk outside. Must be Noah. "I have to go." I softly say. Mother nods. Me and my mom say our goodbyes and hug for one last time. It's time for me to leave this place. I grab my suitcase and leave the house. I see Noah waiting in his car. I close the front door and walk over to his car.

This is it. No more pain, no more arguments, no more worry. I will be in a happy place.