Silent : Unveiling the Turmoil of a Teenage Heart

CHAPTER 14

SOORI

Today is Monday. I'm nervous, knowing everyone will find out me and Elijah are officially dating. Elijah is the type of person to claim me immediately. Everyone has to know. He's very jealous, controlling and possessive. I like that he cares, but it can be a bit much sometimes. A lot of people tell me Elijah is toxic, but I just cannot imagine that. He's been so sweet to me this entire time. He took me to the beach, he initiated the first kiss, he holds me so gently and he's just so perfect. He might seem a bit scary and mean, but he's really not.

I'm sitting in the back of my San's car, since Jae called shotgun again. I stare out the window. I can feel the hot sun burning on my skin, even when I'm inside the car. The weather is slowly getting hotter, because it's almost summer time. I like summer a lot, but there are also lots of negative things. Mosquitos, sweating, headaches and not being able to sleep with your blanket. I can't sleep without a blanket. It's so much more comfortable.

San takes a sharp turn, causing me to bang my head against the car window. Jae also hits his door, causing him to hurt his arm. "Jesus, San!" I exclaim as I rub the right side of my head. "Why'd you make such a sharp turn, man?" Jae asks, clearly annoyed by San's way of driving. "Sorry, I realized we had to go this way a little too late." San says calmly as he starts parking the car. Because of that, I realize we've already arrived at school.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door. I immediately squeeze my eyes shut because of the bright sunlight. I swing my backpack over my right shoulder and slam the car door shut. "Careful with my car!" San demands. "You weren't exactly careful when you took that sharp turn." I murmur as I walk past him. San lets out an annoyed sigh and follows me towards the entrance of the school.

I haven't told my father nor my brothers about Elijah. My friends are the only ones who know. At least, I only told them about it. I don't know how many people know it from Elijah. He is the type to brag about getting girls, but I'm not sure if he would brag about me. Usually, guys only brag when they get pretty and popular girls. They're often blue-eyed and blonde, mostly cheerleaders, hourglass bodies and beautiful curves. It's all about their appearance. Not about their personality. Nowadays, boys only want girls with big boobs and a round butt. They don't want nice girls who would give up the world for them. All boys care about is beauty and sex.

I'm nothing like that. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not boy-pretty. Boys want hot, sexy and fine girls. I'm more of a pretty type of girl. I mean, I don't have long, blonde, wavy hair down to my hips, I don't wear tight and revealing clothes to show off my curves and I don't pose wit my tongue sticking out on every picture to look hot. I like smiling on pictures, or put my thumbs up. Why don't guys want girls like that anymore?

Even if I'm in a relationship with Elijah, it just doesn't seem real. Popular boy from the school's football team, class clown and super social, paired up with a quiet girl that struggles with her mental health and can't even start a simple conversation without it being awkward. I must be the luckiest girl alive, because that popular boy actually picked me.

I open the giant doors that belong to the main entrance. They're so heavy. Why would you ever make a door this heavy? I don't have enough power for all that at eight in the morning. I use all my power to push the doors open, Jae helping me push. My brothers and I enter the school. We use the stairs to get to the second floor. That's where my locker is. Since my brothers are a year higher than me, they have to go one floor higher. "Okay, see you after school." Jae says as he slowly walks up the stairs. "Bye, guys." I reply as I walk over to my locker. My brothers are in the same class as Elijah. That does kind of make me nervous, because I don't know if Elijah might say something to them. I try to not think of him too much. Don't think about Elijah. Don't think about him. Don't think. Don't.

I stick my locker key in the keyhole and open the little door. It reveals a few school books, a notebook and some pictures with my friends. I grab all the books I need for today. I didn't bring a jacket, cause it's super hot outside. I'm wearing white linen pants and a white top. I never wear shorts in the summer. Not only because of my scars, but I have never felt comfortable in them. It's the way they reveal so much. I can't even simply bend over to grab something without the worry of my underwear showing.

I close my locker again and put my backpack back on. I walk to my class, knowing I'll probably end up scrolling on Pinterest instead for doing my work. I have geography right now, and we work on our laptops a lot there. So when the lesson gets boring, I just open Pinterest. When the teacher says something we actually need for a test, I do pay attention and write it down. But ninety percent of the time, teachers just talk about nonsense.

I open the door of my classroom, revealing a few of my classmates. All my friends are sitting together. The tables are arranged in a configuration of four, so my friends and I can sit together in one group. There is one empty spot left for me, so I sit down there. I sit next to Noah. I drop my bag on the ground and run my fingers through my hair.

"Morning, Soo." Lily smiles. "Morning, Pink." I reply, smiling back at her. We call Lily pink, because she literally is the color pink. No pink, no Lily. Noah and Sam also tell me good morning. We have a small conversation before the lesson actually starts. When the teacher tells us to open up our laptops, we do. And I did in fact end up scrolling on Pinterest for the entire lesson. Noah and I scrolled through all the funny pins together, since his laptop ran out of battery. We had to really try and keep quiet when we saw a Pin of a cat propped up in a sock. It might sound dumb, but the picture was actually so funny. We had three more classes left until lunch break, and that's when I'll see Elijah. I wonder if he'll greet me.
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The three lessons we had left were so boring. I didn't even learn anything actually useful. I also got pretty hungry after four periods, so I'm most definitely getting some food. I'm walking down the stairs with my friends. Noah and I are still laughing about the Pin we saw in first period. It wasn't even that funny, but it was so dumb that it's funny to us.

We're walking through the halls, on our way to the cafeteria. Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice. "Baby!" I hear. I turn around to see Elijah. "I'll be right back. Save me a spot in the cafeteria!" I say to my friends. They nod and smile at me. I smile back and walk over to my boyfriend. Elijah opens his arms for a hug, and I slowly step into his embrace. His arms wrap around my waist, mine around his neck. His chin rests on my shoulder, and mine rests on his. He slowly pulls away and looks me in the eyes. He goes in for a kiss, and I just give him a small and fast peck. I don't want to be that clingy couple that has full on make-out sessions in school.

"Hey, baby." He says, smiling down at me. "Hi." I say back as I loosen my grip on him. "How are you? Did you sleep well?" He asks as he rubs my back. "I'm good, I slept pretty okay. You?" I ask as I rest my hands on his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm fine. Slept pretty well too." He answers with a soft smile on his face. "Where were you going?" "I was just going to the cafeteria to sit with my friends. Why?" I take one hand off of his shoulder and run it through my hair. "You're always with them." He lets out an annoyed sigh. "Well, they're my friends." I feel a little guilty that I disappointed him. But I shouldn't feel guilty, because I didn't do anything.

"Hm. You should come sit with me more often." "I'd love to, but not now. I already told my friends I'm sitting with them." I explained, letting go of him. "Okay, Soo. Bye." He says with a small smile. Even if he smiled, he still seemed disappointed that I couldn't sit with him. "Bye." I reply. We let go of each other and go opposite ways.

As I walk back to my friends, I can't stop thinking about our little interaction. It all felt so natural. It felt like we always do this. It wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. It felt good.