Silent : Unveiling the Turmoil of a Teenage Heart

CHAPTER 16

TRIGGER WARNING : MENTION OF ABUSE

ELIJAH

I'm currently sitting on the couch, watching my siblings fight with my cousins. They're hitting each other, screaming and crying. I'm so tired. I just stare in the distance, waiting for either my mom our my aunt to realize their kids are fighting.

And about a minute later, my mother barges into the room. She breaks the fight, stepping in between the kids. "Why didn't you do anything?" She asks with annoyance in her voice. I shrugged, still staring at the white wall in front of me. "Why don't you ever do anything in this damn house?" She mutters as she picks up my youngest brother.

I lean back and take my phone out of my back pocket. I just scroll on TikTok with a bored expression on my face. I get a text from Nathan.
___

nathan 🤘🏽

yo, we're hanging tonight.
you coming?

___

Am I in the mood for that? I should hang out with my friends more. I haven't been outside after school in three months, except for my beach trip with Soori. That was the first time I did something after school in a while. Even if I'm not really in the mood, I should go.
___

nathan 🤘🏽

yo, we're hanging tonight.
you coming?

sure. what time?

8 sound good?

all right. pick me up
at my place.

will do. see you.

see you later.

___

After my short conversation with Nathan, my aunt and all my cousins walk in. "Elijah, we're going home." My aunt says. I get up to tell them goodbye. My aunt embraces me and gives me a kiss on my left cheek. I pull away from her and get down on one knee to high-five my little cousins. Each of them gives me a high-five, and I smile at them.

I get up again. "Drive safe." I say as I take a few steps back. "We will." My aunt and my cousins step out of the living room, leaving me on my own. I fall back down on the couch, staring at the decorated wall in front of me. I see a white wall with a tv surrounded by pictures of me and my siblings. There's one big, green plant on the right side of the tv and there are a few shelves with decorations hanging above it.

Not much later, dad comes home. I can hear my siblings immediately running upstairs. So do I. I get up from the couch and follow them up the stairs. Dad can come home in many different moods. He's either relaxed, annoyed or angry. When he's relaxed, he'll come talk to us about his day. When he's annoyed, he just won't talk until he's relaxed. And when he's angry...oh, when he's angry.

When he's angry, we hide upstairs. As much as my siblings annoy me, I'll do anything to protect them from him. I always take them to my room, because my room is the only bedroom with a lock. When dad's angry, he tries to take it out on my younger siblings. But I won't let him.

I reached the second floor of our house. My siblings in front of me with worried expressions on their faces. "Go to my room." I quietly say. They don't say anything back, but quickly turn left to enter my bedroom. I have the smallest room, since I don't share with anyone. My brother, Easton, opens the door to my room. All my siblings go after him. I go in last, closing the door behind me. My two younger brothers, Easton and Enzo, sit down on the carpet next to each other. And my little sisters, Evelyn and Elena, sit down on my bed. Evelyn lays against the soft pillows and Elena sits with her back against the wall.

My sweet siblings, I'm sorry. Even if they've never been hurt by my father, they've been yelled at. And he always tells us 'sorry', only for him to do it again. My dad doesn't hit us a lot. It's just sometimes. He slapped me in the face once, pulled me by my hair or grabbed my wrist so roughly that it bruised.

He tried to hit Easton once. Easton, poor boy. He's only twelve. I look at him. He's sitting on the grey carpet, staring at the blue painted wall in front of him. He's completely zoned out, probably thinking about why his life works this way. Enzo, my eleven year old brother, playing with the bracelet I gifted him. A single tear drop falls on the silver bracelet. Evelyn, only eight years old, but so unbelievably brave and smart. Evelyn is the only one, other than me, who stood up to my father. Little girl, ten years younger than me, but so much more brave. And Elena, only five. If I could give her the happy childhood I had...I've never seen a five year old so unhappy. She looks tired. And not tired because she wants to sleep, tired because she can't handle the life she's living. How could he do this to such little children?

"Elijah?" I softly hear Enzo speak, his voice cracking a little bit. "Yes?" I answer as I sit down in my gaming chair. "When is it going to stop?" His teary eyes look up at me. It's never going to stop. "I don't know." I don't look at him. I don't want to cry. If I look at his crying eyes, mine will start watering too. "What about mommy? Isn't she scared?" Evelyn asks as she slowly sits up. "No. Daddy likes mommy a lot, so he's very sweet to her." How am I going to explain this to these little children? "Does he not like us?" Elena asks. "Of course he likes us too. Just..." I hesitate. Actually, I lied. He hates us. "Sometimes daddy just wants to be alone with mommy. That's why we stay upstairs." I lie. Well, not exactly a lie, just a little bit softer than the real, hard truth.

"Really, Elijah?" Easton asks. He knows the real, hard truth. Easton is a little older than my other siblings. He understands these things. He's not stupid. Sometimes, I wonder if Evelyn knows. She might be young, but she's able to understand the things I learn at school. Reminder, I'm a senior. Evelyn is in third grade. Smartest kid I know. I think she's smart enough to understand what's going on at home.

"Yes, really." I say, giving him a look. My look only tells him to shut up. "How long do we have to stay here?" Enzo looks up. "Until mom says we can come down."

To my siblings : I'm sorry.