To Put On An Act [bxb]

Chapter 23 - AND SO IT DECAYS

It'd been two days. Long, cold, drawn out days. Exhausting days that Alex had spent in his own head. His own bed, rather.

Margo and Lani had picked him up from Youngbin's place on Sunday. He hadn't really said a word, and pretended like it'd just been the hangover. Margo noticed. Lani would've noticed as well, if it wasn't for her own hangover and the fact that she had to collect every single brain cell left in that damn car to drive Alex home safely.

And then, things had happened exactly as he'd expected them to happen. Shitty sandwich, a shower that had taken way too long because his soul briefly left his body, a look into the mirror, an urge to shatter his reflection, and then, the fall. A long, long fall into the cold, unloving embrace of his own bed.

A lonely bed. Sheets that probably needed a change by now. They didn't smell as clean and fresh and comfortable as Youngbin's. His blanket wasn't as soft as the woollen one Youngbin had either. Alex' pillows weren't as fluffy and comfortable and not nearly as colourful.

And yet, he'd managed to fall asleep in that sad lonely bed at some point. Not instantly, not any time soon, it took hours, probably, Alex hadn't really checked the time at all that entire day.

He just kind of rotted. Slowly. Staring up. In silence, for the most part. At some time, he'd put on one of his vinyls. He didn't have many, a small collection he'd started because Lani gifted him her old record player. He wasn't as good at taking care of it as she was. His favourite record had already warped, scratched a little. Not that that was bad. He didn't listen to vinyls for pristine sound, after all.

Maybe the fact that this precious small collection had already been damaged to some extent just made it feel even more right. More fitting to whatever situation Alex was in. Sad. A weird kind of sad that he hated but didn't want to do anything about. Just a weird sting in his chest. A splinter in his heart.

It was okay, actually, it was quite okay like this. A welcome emotion. More welcome than- well, than what? Loneliness? Than anger, maybe. Because it was loneliness. Most definitely, Alex felt terribly lonely. All he wanted was to go back, to the moment Youngbin kissed him, or maybe the moment just before that.

Oh, he missed Youngbin. Already. How pathetic, to miss someone you'd seen that day, and would see again in a day. But he could live with being pathetic, he had some experience in that already. And so, Alex fell asleep missing Youngbin.

    

And then, Alex woke up missing school. Not that he'd usually wake up in time for school, on Monday out of all days, but he was extra late. He would've checked his phone to see the time, but it'd been dead since sometime on Sunday. He wasn't sure how long it took to load and turn back on, because he couldn't check the time, but once it was usable again, it was noon.

Well. Fine. Making his way to school now wasn't really worth the effort. Lani and Margo could live without him for today. Maybe Youngbin could as well. Hopefully he could.

His old phone took a while to catch up with notifications when it had turned on again, but when it did, he was met with a couple of missed messages. Margo asking where he was, mostly, and Youngbin asking how he felt. Both of these questions were answered easily.

» slept in, feeling like shit lol «

That was what he graced the group chat with, followed by eye rolling emojis and no surprise. For Youngbin, of course, he decided to answer his worries a little differently.