To Put On An Act [bxb]

Chapter 37 - I'M OKAY, PROBABLY

Alex tapped his fingers against the textbook in his arms. Maths. Yes. Maths textbook, because just now, he'd attended a maths class, in which he almost listened and paid attention. Almost. But it was a fine start.

Maybe the "recovering badboy" joke wasn't as much of a joke as Alex had liked to think. Things weren't going to be great and fine and amazing again, not as quickly and easily as this. Being with Youngbin wouldn't heal his every wound instantly. But it certainly helped with something. Knowing that someone loved him would at least put a bandaid on one of the many scratches across his skin.

He'd have to figure out himself where to get more bandaids, and what to do with the injuries that were too big for a bandaid, and what to do about all the blood that had smeared on his body and clothes and everything he touched.

But at least he had Youngbin to give him some advice on that. Not just Youngbin. He had Lani and Margo as well. Maybe he could even have someone like Kaya, or William Lee, if he played his cards right and stopped being as much of an asshole, at least around people like them.

And then there was one more instance that was willing to help him, that he had so skillfully ignored for way too long. Ignored until now.

Alex threw his textbook into his locker, of which he had almost forgotten the code once again, a testament of how few times he'd opened it in the past, what, two years? Three? He closed it up again, this time promising that he was going to come back again tomorrow, at least once, to grab a book for a single lesson.

Baby steps, Alex. Baby steps.

Then he stood still. He knew what was coming next, who was waiting for him now. There wasn't a need to be nervous, really. Talking to any teacher could make him nervous, any teacher that wasn't her. But she wasn't the kind of person to make anyone nervous. When she called someone to talk after class, it should've been hopefulness or relief that flooded a students mind, not worry or fear. Alex knew this. Not that knowing that he shouldn't be worried would change anything about his mood.

Tessa Clair taught Philosophy and Politics at Sirius Miller High School. She was on the younger side, not as experienced as most of her older colleagues, but she still carried that hope in her to maybe be able to change something about the system. Not that she was actually able to do that, no matter how hard she tried. But she tried nonetheless.

She was kind and smart and empathetic. And she didn't think that Alex was a hopeless piece of shit. She was also the only teacher that believed this. And she'd called him to her office today when he walked past her in the hallway. Alex has been terrified ever since.

Alex took another deep breath, then made his way towards her office. He pulled out his phone, checking the time, suddenly scared that he was running late already. Not yet. He had five minutes until the time they had agreed on. Maybe she'd be proud of him for arriving two whole minutes early.

"Alexander?" Alex brushed someone with his shoulder as he checked his display, then let his phone disappear in his jacket again as he looked up, just to meet-

The eyes of the most insufferable man attending this fucking school. Tobias Carter, with his hipster glasses he must've gotten some time in 2016, slicked back brown hair, and that disgustingly smug expression on his face.

Alex had the urge to smash it into a locker. He wasn't that kind of person, though. Obviously.

"Running around with your phone out? What a way to return to these beautiful school grounds, by breaking a rule yet again."

Alex furrowed his brows, tempted to continue walking past the teacher. He had more important things to do now. But Tobias Fucking Carter wouldn't give him the chance.