Finding The Broken Pieces

Chapter 8 Memories

Trish and I start opening boxes and I take a deep breathe and pull out my Totoro Canvas. Closing my eyes I am instantly set back into a flashback, "I laugh as Dalton struggles to get my poster to hang on the wall. "What this isn't funny!"

I cover my mouth and try to help him, "Watching you try to not fall off the bed is a little funny."

He rolls his eyes and gets the poster in place before stepping off the bed. Before I know it I am being thrown onto the bed and I am being tickled. I squirm around laughing with tears coming out of my eyes. 

"White flag, white flag. No more!" Dalton laughs and stops. I wipe the tears away from the eyes and smile at him. 

"Well are you gonna laugh at me again?" He smiles and goes prepared to tickle me. I hold up my hands in surrender.

"No! No! I promise that I am innocent."  He gives me a hug and I smile at him and try to tickle him back."  

The memory soon clears from my mind and I realize that tears had fallen onto the poster getting it wet. Soon I feel someone put their hand on my arm and I look up to see Ash standing in front of me. 

"Hey, are you okay? You look like you are crying," He says it so softly while looking at me so concerned. 

I almost can't even speak without crying, "Not really, just so much of my bedroom decorations has memories it's just hard to deal with it." 

"I completely understand. Just remember this is gonna be your bedroom and your gonna make your own memories now." He rubs his thumb on my arm and I wipe away even more tears. 

Trystons voice comes from behind me, "Everything okay over here?" 

Ash looks over at Trish as he mouths something to her  I feel more emotions wave over me as I look down into the box and see some of my art drawings. I feel Trish pulling me outside and she sits me down on the steps. 

"Sweetie, are you okay?" I look at her and hug her and start crying. I feel that raw pain all over again in my chest. She rubs my back and holds me. 

"Trish, I thought I could do it but there are just so many memories. Why does it hurt?" She soothes my hair and I cry harder into her shoulder. 

"Sage, sometimes it has to hurt for us to get stronger and more wiser. I am so sorry that it hurts though. It isn't ever easy." I feel the burning in my throat and my eyes get blurry, I push back a bit and hold my chest and try to gasp for air. Trish holds onto me so I don't fall back. I feel my chest getting heavier and I can't breathe. 

I look over at Trish and didn't realize she had screamed for Tryston and he was running across the street. 

"Sage, can you try to tell me where you panic medicine is?" I hold my chest and nod.

I gasp out, "Banana bag." 

Trish nods and yells that out to Tryston. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to breathe as I feel the world around me spinning. Next minute Trish is tapping on my shoulders, and I open my eyes and see my inhaler first infront of me. 

Trish talks me through it and gets me through my inhaler. 

"Okay, we have to try to take your panic medicine now. I know this is gonna suck." I look at her trying to breathe a little better and she hands me the blue pill the doctor prescribed me. I put it in my mouth and she helps me sip water to get it down. 

I cough a bit and hold onto my chest wishing the pain would stop. Trish holds onto me and I lean against her. Ten mins later and all my body is starting to feel relaxed. I lay my head against Trish feeling a bit sleepy. 

"You feeling okay now Sage?" Trish sits me up.

"Yeah I think I am okay now, but I think I need to lay down." Trish nods and rubs my shoulders. 

"Well if you want Ash can you take back to the house to lay on the couch and we can do some more unpacking on furniture." I look at her a bit sleepily surprised she would be willing to help do that. 

"Are you sure? Otherwise the couch sounds amazing." She laughs at me and nods. 

"Yeah I am sure." She helps me stand up and lets Ash grab my arm to make sure I can walk.

"Thank you guys. Seriously you guys are the best." 

Ash holds onto me as I walk a bit weakly back to the house. I immediately plop down on the couch and close my eyes. I feel a soft blanket fall on top off me and open my eyes a bit to see Ash sitting down in the chair. 

"Are you sure your going to be okay?" He looks at me worried and I close my eyes once again snuggling into the blanket. 

I sigh, "I just want my heart to stop feeling broken. Otherwise yeah I am okay, just haven't got much of a control on my panic attacks." 

I feel relaxing music turn on the tv and before I drift off to sleep I hear Ash, "I'm sorry you feel so broken. I know what it's like to feel broken. Get some rest Sage."

At my name I drift off into a silent sleep wondering what he meant by that.