Rogue | outer banks

Flashback 13

I had mustered up the courage to speak to Topper about the issues that had been weighing heavily on my mind. But what started as a simple conversation turned into something far worse than I could have ever imagined.

He was angry, and so was I.

I tried to keep my composure, but the frustration, hurt, and pain that had built up inside of me finally boiled over.

As I tried to express my feelings, Topper's anger escalated. His words were like a knife, cutting through my heart and leaving behind a wave of devastation. I couldn't believe the venom that was spewing from his mouth. And then, in a moment of pure rage, he forcefully pushed me away, sending shockwaves through me.

"You wanna kill yourself?!" Topper bellowed, his voice filled with anger and contempt. "Be my fucking guest!" he shouted, slamming the door shut and locking me on the other side. The confinement felt suffocating, a physical manifestation of the emotional walls that had been closing in on me. "Are you seriously locking me in here?!" I shouted, my voice reverberating through the room. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I banged on the door, frustration and desperation driving my actions. "You think this is how a big brother acts?!"

My foot connected with the door, each kick fueled by a power I didn't realize I possessed. The physical exertion became a release for the pent-up emotions, a desperate attempt to break free from the confines of the situation.

"I swear to God, Topper!" I continued shouting, my words punctuated by the relentless assault on the door. "You want me to stop doing drugs?!"

Finally, with a resounding crash, my foot broke through the door, creating a hole just large enough for me to reach the lock. As I opened the door, Topper jerked back, surprise flickering in his eyes. Without hesitation, I grabbed him by the shirt, my hands trembling with a mixture of anger and adrenaline, and turned him around, pushing him into the room he had intended to lock me in.

I could see the shock and fear in his eyes, but I refused to back down. The floodgates had opened, and I couldn't contain the torrent of emotions that were raging within me.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to do, huh?!" I marched towards Topper, the frustration and hurt bubbling over. "Do you have any idea how I feel?" I asked. "Has your stupid brain ever thought about how hard things are for me?" I tapped the side of Topper's head, hoping to jolt some semblance of empathy into him. But in response, he angrily pushed me away, his expression contorted with frustration.

Unable to contain the overwhelming anguish any longer, I turned away from him, the room becoming the canvas for my unleashed emotions. The familiar sound of things crashing and shattering provided a momentary release for the storm happening inside me.

"I lost my parents and my friends!" I shouted, the words echoing off the walls. I sent a desk flying to the ground, the crash of its impact a cathartic release for the emotions that threatened to consume me. "And my big brother cares about his appearance and title more than me!" I scoffed, the bitterness of the truth ringing in my voice.

I surveyed the chaos I had created; the room was in disarray, mirroring the chaos that had consumed my life. Each shattered object held a piece of my shattered heart, a tangible representation of the turmoil that had become my reality.

Without hesitation, I stormed out of the room, charging towards the next one. The anger that fueled my actions became a destructive force, a way to externalize the internal chaos that had taken root.

"You wish I was different?!" I shouted, my words carrying the weight of a lifetime of frustration. Another chair met the same fate as the first, crashing to the floor in a chaotic symphony of destruction. "So do I!" I admitted. "You fucking hate me?!" I almost cried out, the raw vulnerability laid bare in my words. "So do I!"