Roommates (Sirius Black x reader)

Chapter 13: mood swings

Sirius had been in a mood all day long. We weren't doing anything, just sitting in the common room.

James and Peter engaging in a furious match of wizards chess, was seriously the most exciting thing happening all day.

Sirius and I sat on the couch just watching, I saw Sirius roll his eyes as Peter had made yet another stupid attempt at going at James.

"Where's Remus at?" I try to get him to converse with me. I look at Sirius. He seemed like he had something in him, something that needed to be let out.

"He's up in their room, getting rest for tonight." Sirius blindly says, earning a not so hidden glance from James.

"We are having another's marauders adventure." James explains, "Rem always gets tired, you know? Because we get back really late."

I just nod my head understanding. I noticed James and Sirius speaking. Not literally talking with their mouths but through their eyes. There was so much going on I couldn't tell what they were trying to say.

"Y/n, wanna give it a go?" Peter shifts my attention to the chess board ahead of him. I knew he was trying to get me to not focus on whatever the boys were doing.

I slide off the couch and onto the floor. James scooting over moving closer to Sirius while I took his spot across from Peter.

I played along with Peter and it was really easy to win yet I was losing. My attention kept going to James who was whispering to Sirius so vigorously that I thought Sirius might punch him.

The tension broke as Sirius stormed out of the common room, "Sirius, the time." James says before Sirius could fully make it out of the door.

"I know, I'll be there." Is all he says before completely leaving.

James eyes shift from the closing door to Peter who desperately shrugs.

"What's his problem?" I ask seeking for any answer. James looks over to me now. His blue eyes almost piercing through mine.

"Nothing." James stands motioning for Peter to follow him, "We'll catch you later."

With that they leave me alone. I assumed they went up to go get Remus. I admit into defeat and just head into my room. It was getting late either way. I took a quick shower and sat down in my bed picking up a book.

Sirius never returned to our room. I wasn't completely worried because usually he'd have nights like this. Where he comes back in the morning exhausted.

As the clock ticked I decided it would be better to just go to sleep. I would always find myself waiting for him to come back but tonight I decided to just try to keep him out of my dreams.

I shut my eyes softly, after a bit I could feel myself drift away. I hear the door open and my body shoots up. I was scared knowing Sirius has never came back this early.

I look up at the door still tired but with a mix of fear and adrenaline now. It was only Sirius making me sigh in relief.

His face was pale. Paler then i've ever seen in my entire life. He was crying as well. His body slide down the door, hands going through his hair.

I step out of bed softly approaching him, trying not to scare him like a lost cat. He sees me coming towards him and doesn't say anything so I take it as a sign to come closer.

I wrap my arms around him, he falls right into me, crying into my chest. He seemed absolutely miserable. I've never seem him so vulnerable.

He cries and cries. Neither of us spoke, I just ran my hand through him long hair. Letting him know I was there for him.

What had felt like hours but was only minutes, Sirius finally had spoken. It was practically incomprehensible. "I'm going to lose everything."

That was all he said. I pull him even closer to me, "Sirius you have so much, you aren't losing any of it."

He nods his head in a sideways direction, "I am" He whispers while shaking.

I didn't know what to say. He was so upset and i've never had to deal with someone so sad. I put his hand on his heart.

"Feel how fast your heart is," I then move his hand to mine letting him feel how slow and calm mine was. "Take deep breaths Sirius."

In and out

In and out

In and out

I don't remember much else from that night. I try not to remember. We had both fallen asleep on the floor. His hand still on my heart.

By the time I woke up he was gone. I assumed he'd be at breakfast. Yet he wasn't. In fact none of them were. I had gone to where we sat and no one was there. I couldn't imagine how upset Peter is knowing how much he loves the morning meals.

I shrug it off when I spot Alice. I sat with her and Frank. They were chatting about quidditch. Frank was currently the captain of the team.

My first class was about to start and still no sign of the boys. I'd usually walk with Remus but I made my way alone.

I said my goodbyes to the couple before leaving, making my way down a corridor.

There was quite a few people around since everyone was trying to find their way. I was walking past dumbledore office and then the door swung open. Out came Remus Lupin.

"Remus? What were you doing with Dumbledore?" I ask him. He looked sick like he was about the throw up. He had also gotten an abundant amount of new scars.

"Are you okay?" I touch his forearm. He has been crying. I could tell from his red eyes.

I wasn't sure what was happening to boys. All of them were clearly upset.

"No. No i'm not okay." He shoved my arm off. Not in a harsh way but softly.

He started to walk away. I wanted to grab his arm and tell him he could talk to me but I didn't. I couldn't. It wasn't my place.