One Helluva Ride

Chapter 25: Kidnapped

          "Oh, a smart guy, eh?" Agent One asked, clapping sarcastically. He walked over to Agent Two with a scoff. "One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!" She threatened. Splice looked over. "Shut us up with.. what, exactly~?" They asked, winking toward the agents. Blitzø grinned. "Ooh, getting kinky!" He enthused.

          Agent One recoiled. "WHAT?! We ain't playing any of your vile demon kinks." He said, disgusted. Blitzø shrugged. "I mean, that's what it sounds like back there, you sickos." He replied with a smug grin. Moxxie rolled his eyes. "Please don't give them ideas, sir." He said sarcastically. Splice caught on to the bit, smirking. "We're just so helpless. Please, don't let them dominate us, boss~" They purred. Blitzø grinned. "Why not? I know the shit the two of you are into-"

          Agent One quickly put his hands over his ears. "STAAHP! We are not gettin' kinky wit youse!" He shouted, cringing. Splice chuckled. "That's what they all say~" They flirted. Agent Two put her hand on One's shoulders. "Calm down, One. Don't let these monsters get to you." She comforted.

          "Hey, aren't we going to get our phone call, bitch?" Blitzø asked. Agent One regained his composure, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, that entirely depends. Who are you going to call, hm?" He asked, almost teasingly. Blitzø grinned maliciously. "Your FAT mom, thanking her for a FAT fuckin' time." He replied snarkily. Splice snickered.

          Agent Two smiled. "Nice try, demon. His fat mom is dead!" She said victoriously. Agent One teared up, wiping his face on his suit sleeve. Splice frowned empathetically. "Now, guys, I'm sure his mom wasn't fat." They said softly. Agent One looked over. ".. at least one of youse has some decency." He muttered. Splice grinned maliciously. "I'm sure she was fuckin' ugly, too!"

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          "Stop insultin' my mother, she's dead!" Agent One demanded as a few stray tears fell down his cheeks. Blitzø stuck out his tongue mischievously in response. Agent Two gently placed her hand on One's shoulder. "Hey, hey... Let's just leave them be until they feel like talking." She offered, gently leading One out of the room and slamming the door on the way out.

          Blitzø side-eyed the door, waiting for a moment to see if the agents were gone. "Don't worry, guys. If we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works." He explained, trying to channel some optimism into his employees.

          Moxxie frowned softly. "I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure." He muttered. Blitzø scoffed. "Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset." He replied annoyedly. A green mist began to seep into the room from the air vents on the ceiling. "We've never dealt with the human government before. She's in danger." Moxxie insisted.

          "Do you honestly ever shut up about Millie? It's always 'Oh, how's Millie?' 'I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie.' 'I'm so worried about Millie.' And she's always five fuckin' feet away from you. It's pathetic." Blitzø spat annoyedly. It was silent for a moment. ".. dude, what the fuck?" Splice muttered. Moxxie looked down at the ground. "That was.. oddly personal." He said.

          Blitzø blinked confusedly. "You know what, you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that." He replied. Splice narrowed their eyes. "It's because you don't know how to read a fucking room Blitzø. Christ, do you ever think before you speak?" They asked annoyedly. Moxxie's eyes widened. "Guys! They're filling this room with something!" He said worriedly. Splice eyed the mist. "Woah.. what the fuck is this?" They questioned.