Hell has its fair share of sex icons, but what happens when one of them grows tired of being in the spotlight?
Join Splice as they begin a new career, transitioning from one of Hell's top porn stars to being an assassin.
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Helluva Boss a...
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The cherubs took Lyle up to a grassy hill that overlooked a vast forest. "Look around, Lyle! God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!" The baby cherub–Cletus–said. The blue sheep, named Collin, nodded in agreement. "If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this." He explained, gesturing to the great outdoors before him. Blitzø appeared beside Lyle. "Mhm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" He asked, making an obscene gesture with his hands to indicate sex.
The yellow sheep–Keenie–gasped in horror and covered her mouth. "That is so inappropriate!" She exclaimed. Splice chuckled. "Oh, please. I'm sure those two spitroast you on the daily." They said smugly. Millie flipped Keenie the double bird. "Kiss our ass, prude!" She insulted.
Blitzø pushed Lyle aside and clambered into the bed with him. "Anyway, take it from me–a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." He warned, offering Lyle a pair of binoculars. Lyle took the binoculars and put them up to his face; witnessing a horrifically gory scene demonstrating survival of the fittest. "Oh, no!" He yelled in shock. Collin grasped the binoculars and desperately tried to pull them away. "S-Stop looking!" He begged.
And yet, Lyle stared on. "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now." He said miserably. The cherubs watched the bloody scene in pure terror. "L-Let's go check out someplace else!" Cletus said anxiously, desperate to leave. Moxxie and Millie fistbumped victoriously.
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Next, the cherubs decided to take Lyle to a mall. "Oh, lord... Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle begged. Keenie smiled kindly. "We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for, childhood wonderment!" She explained, gesturing to a group of children surrounding a mall Santa. Lyle looked on with endearment. "Why, look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood.. and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. .. thank you for showing me this." He said, smiling softly.
Blitzø grinned as he made his way to the mall Santa. "Hey, dipshit!" He called. "Wanna see whose lap you're sitting on?" He asked the poor child in the Santa's lap. He tore off the costume to reveal a disgusting, greasy old man with a '#cuties' shirt. The children screamed in terror and began to run away in fear. Upon witnessing the sight, Lyle began to cry. Collin and Keenie rushed to cover his eyes, but it was too late.
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The angels dragged Lyle to a secluded spot near the beach. A nearby sign read 'Lover's Lookout, I guess..' "Egh! This place reeks of teenagers!" Lyle complained. Cletus smiled encouragingly. "Lover's Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!" He said. Lyle smiled knowingly. "Money!" He said proudly. Cletus looked horrified. "No! Love." He explained.
