If I Can't Have Him...

At fault

Yoongi stood by the window with the blinds drawn, there was a little screen beside him that would soon show him a person and he was the deciding factor on whether or not that person was Felix.

He hoped it wasn't Felix.

Jeongguk stood pressed to his back, his hands slowly rubbing up and down Yoongi's arms trying to help him in any way that he could. He had already grabbed him a cup of coffee from the vending machine, and he didn't want to talk and break the silence in case that's what Yoongi needed to keep himself together.

It was almost four in the morning, the two of them were exhausted and running purely on adrenaline at that point. A knock on the door brought them both back to the moment as they turned their heads "Yoongi" detective Travitt spoke as he entered the room

"Detective" he nodded his head and crossed his arms

"I'm sorry, really. I tried Hyunjin but he didn't respond and the rest of his family is in Korea"

"I know" he nodded, "it's alright. Are you sure it's..?"

"Well that's what you're here for, but, I'm fairly certain" he looked at Jeongguk "Detective Travitt, and you are?" He reached out his hand

"Jeongguk" he reached and shook his hand, when the detective let go Jeongguk's hands were back on Yoongi's arms

"He's here for moral support"

"Understood" he nodded "someone called in a report of a body in the park, I won't get into the details. Do you recall Felix having any tattoos?"

"One" he nodded "it was a matching tattoo with his brother"

"Okay, we're going to show you a tattoo, and I want you to confirm if it's his. If it isn't or it's too distorted, we can show you the remains"

"Okay" he nodded and looked up at the screen as the detective informed whoever was on the other side of the window that they could begin. Yoongi stared up at the screen hoping that it wouldn't be Felix. He took a deep breath as a sheet was maneuvered, revealing the Chinese symbol for 'light' on Felix's shoulder. He'd know it anywhere, he's had his teeth sunken into it more than he could ever count. He sighed and lowered his head, tears stung his eyes as he turned in Jeongguk's hold and buried his face in his chest.

Jeongguk tightened his hold on him, one arm around his shoulders, and a hand on the back of his head, holding him in place and making him feel safe in his arms as his tears dampened Jeongguk's shirt

"I take it that's him?"

"Y-yes" his breath stuttered

A month later, once the body had been fully examined and all of the evidence taken and recorded, there were two funerals. One small one in New York, and a traditional one in South Korea for his parents and family. Yoongi, Jeongguk, and Jimin drove together to the small funeral in Jeongguk's car. Yoongi was handling everything pretty well, but he wasn't sure how he'd feel after seeing Hyunjin again, and finally saying goodbye to Felix before his body was to be shipped to Seoul.

It was hard.

Hyunjin hugged him tight as soon as he saw him, he cried on Yoongi's shoulder, wishing his brother had come home alive. When they pulled away, Yoongi introduced Jimin and Jeongguk as his friends. He didn't think introducing his boyfriend to his dead ex's brother as such would be appropriate, but Jeongguk understood and took no offense.

They gave their condolences before finding seats towards the back. Jeongguk held Yoongi's hand while Jimin rested his head against Yoongi's other shoulder, Yoongi scanned the crowd, occasionally he saw someone he knew. A few times one of Felix's friends would approach him and give him their condolences, unaware of how things had happened for Yoongi in all of this. Only knowing that Felix loved him before he was taken away from all of them. It made guilt simmer in Yoongi's stomach.