When The Rain Washes You Clean. (You'll Know.)

Chapter Seven.

Letting out a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down, Leland pushes his back up against the closed bathroom door - and squeezes his eyes shut. He can feel how uncomfortably tight his pants have gotten now, and he does his best to try and calm his mind down. He's still unsure as to why he's reacting this way, and the more he thinks on how Johnny acted towards him - the more his head starts to hurt. He doesn't like the feeling he has in his pants, and he definitely doesn't like the way his mind is being to him either. Every time he squeezes his eyes closed, he's reminded of that one scene in the movie he just watched - and then it's followed by the way Johnny's leg pressed against his own.

He can feel his heart racing because of it, and it's driving him just the tiniest bit mad - because he wants it to stop. He felt like he could finally feel normal again, after pushing away the silly incident he did a week ago, completely forgetting what he did; to being able to feel nothing when he's actually around Johnny. He was liking the way everything was starting to feel normal again, and he's gone and ruined it all in one night.

Letting out another deep breath, Leland opens his eyes in an attempt to try and ignore it once more. He focuses in on the shower in front of him, and a thought pops into his head this time; maybe another cold shower could help him fight what's going on? It was able to cool his body down last time, so what's to stop it from happening again? He knows he doesn't want to actually go through with touching himself again, the embarrassment and shame was too much last time. And Leland would rather fucking die, then have to admit to touching himself twice over Johnny. It's an inward battle with his own mind, and he can feel the rage starting to spiral down him once more as well.

What the actual fuck was wrong with him right now?

There were so many moments in that movie that made him so uncomfortable, to the point where he didn't even want to look at the screen. He's still so iffy when it comes to anything to do with two men; so why the hell is his body acting the way that it is right now? He wants to scream in frustration over it, kind of wants to rip his hair out as well - because it feels like he's slowly losing control of his own body and there's nothing he can really do about it. It must be due to the fact that he hasn't physically seen Ana in so long, it's the only logical explanation as to why his body is being this way.

He hasn't been able to see the one he loves, hasn't been able to touch the one he loves - and that alone is enough to drive any sane man up the wall. He just can't find a way to connect the two - how does Ana equal the same amount as Johnny? Could it just be the attention that Johnny gives him sometimes, that makes him miss the way Ana used to? It's hurting his brain a lot right now, that he feels he might even cry in frustration - so he pushes himself away from the wall, and he turns the shower on to just cold.

He can't allow himself to continue to think more on this, it'll confuse his thoughts even more - and the situation in his pants, still won't go away. So he strips himself down, and throws his clothes to the corner of the room; before finally getting himself underneath the freezing cool water. It automatically sends shivers down his spine, and he lets a small gasp out as the water hits his body - but he also does his best to just ignore his lower region. Hoping that the water itself will wash away this type of problem, and maybe Leland can just get on with his life.. The best that he could.

Maybe Leland asked for too much, or maybe he didn't ask for enough - because he closes his eyes once more in the shower; and the image of Johnny is popping up in his head again. A swear word passes from his lips at that, and he snaps his eyes open once more while shaking his head. He needs to get a hold of himself right now, he doesn't like the way two men are together - and he fucking loves his fiancé. His head is just in the middle of a rut, and making himself dwell onto something like this, is not going to help his situation. So Leland lets out another string of cuss words, turns the cold shower tap on even more and does his best to clear his fucking mind.