When The Rain Washes You Clean. (You'll Know.)

Chapter Ten.

Pulling the blanket even tighter against his body, Leland's eyes stay locked on the ceiling above him - as his mind counts the amount of dust specs that he can see on the roof. He's doing his absolute best right now to distract his mind from the events that he went through a couple of days ago, and so far, Leland thinks he's been doing okay. He focuses all of his time and mind on the smallest things every time he goes to remember, and even when the night falls and he has his eyes shut; he just goes with counting sheep. So he takes it as a win, that in no way possible - has Leland even thought about what he and Johnny got up to in that barn.

He can feel his cheeks begin to heat up from that alone, and he does his best to continue counting the dust specs. He believes he was around the twenty mark already, and his eyes go from side to side; as he tries to find more to count. It's pathetic in a way, to be curled up in his bed this way - looking at dust on the roof - so he doesn't have to think about Johnny or the problems that have risen from it.

He can hear a faint knock at the door, which breaks his concentration from the dust specs and his eyes fall on the wood across the room - an eyebrow raised as he watches it open slowly. He can feel his heartbeat begin to pick up a little bit from it, curious but scared to who could be behind the door - and he only releases the breath he was holding, when he can finally see who was entering the room.

Nancy stands at the entrance of Leland's room, a beige apron across her body while she holds a rolling pin in her hands, a small smile on her face as she looks at the man wrapped up in the bed. She has a small look of concern behind her eyes as well, and it makes Leland feel a little bit like shit to be hiding out from the family like this. They've done nothing but be sweet and welcoming towards him, and because of their son, he's gone to hiding from them all the best he could. Biting down on his lower lip, Leland breaks eye contact first as he goes to sit himself up in the bed - curious to see what Nancy has got to say to him today.

"Honey," Her voice is soft as she speaks, and it only makes Leland feel even worse, "Are you feeling okay? I fear we haven't seen much of you these past days. Drayton said you haven't been going with him to work either, and I've just told him you've caught the flu. But what really seems to be the problem?"

He knew this was coming, there was only so much Leland could do before he would be called out on his bullshit. And hearing the way that Nancy has been covering for him, even though he's been acting like this - just furthermore proves how much of an asshole Leland can be. He's trapped in his own mind and guilt for actions that happened, that he could've prevented - but didn't - and now he doesn't know how to face anyone else while he deals with these problems.

"Ana has called again today, this is the third time these past days. Are you going to call her back this time?" Her voice is still soft as she speaks to Leland, but he can also hear the hint of worry as well.

Ana was another thing that Leland had to come to terms with as well. Despite what went down between him and Johnny, Ana was still affected by the actions he did. He got so scared when she called him the day after things had happened, and he didn't have the nerve to answer her call that day to tell her what happened. It soon became something that slipped to the back of his mind, pushing that problem away and burying it deep amongst the others the best he could - and he knew it wouldn't last that long hiding in there, since she was his soon to be wife and all - it would only be a matter of time until the calls would keep coming. And it would only be a matter of time for someone to notice that Leland wasn't answering the phone calls.

It's just hard for him to deal with the fact that he cheated on his fiancé with a man. It's two things Leland never thought he would have to deal with in this life of his, and now that he's hit this brick wall - he's unsure of what he can do anymore. So not answering the phone was one way he had of dealing with Ana, and avoiding the family was the other way of not dealing with Johnny. It's messy, and Leland knows that - he knows he can't just keep running away from his problems - or trying to shove them far away. One way or another, he needed to face these head on; but when he thinks about even answering the phone to Ana it makes his stomach curl. It makes him feel like he needs to throw up everything he ate, and he doesn't like the way his heart lodges itself to the back of his throat - when he thinks about what he would even say to her.