When The Rain Washes You Clean. (You'll Know.)

Chapter Twenty Three.

5 Years Later, 1985.

60 Months.

260 Weeks.

1,825 Days.

43,830 Hours.

This is how long it's been for Leland since he last laid eyes on Johnny Sawyer.

It's been a journey, something that Leland had never dreamed that he would have to go through in this lifetime. There was a time where he was certain on the life he wanted, the things he wanted and the person he wanted. He had it all mapped out and planned down to the last detail on how the dice were meant to roll; he just never expected them to not be loaded. So when they rolled a number he wasn't expecting, and lost all that built around him - Leland was left alone with nothing in the end, but haunting memories of what could've been.

The road ahead of him was darkened by the sky, not a sight of a street light at all - and his headlights could only do so much against the dark. Letting a small frustrated noise out, Leland's fingers grip hard against his steering wheel - while his head continues to run circles around him.

It's been a tough time for him now, trying to pull himself out of the ruins he made. Build his tower back up from the ashes, and try to continue on his crooked path of life. He can still remember it clear as day, when he crawled his way back to Ana on his hands and knees; begging for a love he did not deserve. He broke himself down into little pieces for her, tore his heart out and tried to prove that it beatted only for her; while he ignored the inconsistencies that it would do when Johnny's name was mentioned towards it. He swore from tooth and nail that he did not love that man, and was only caught up in the feeling of the what if's. Leland can remember how much he begged, how much he cried - and how much Ana just did not care.

She could see right through him from the moment he went back there, could tell his heart belonged somewhere else - and could tell his eyes were only holding lies. She questioned him, asked the things she deserved to know; and it was only due to that, did Leland start to see things more clearly for himself. He knew he still had love for Ana, still wanted to be as close as he could with her; but she pointed out his flaws, made him look deeper into himself... And then called him out on all the lies he would spill. She didn't want to continue to clean up his mess for him, feed into the fantasy that Leland had in his head; she deserved to be happy, and Leland wasn't it no more.

It was only a couple of months of him being home, working his hands to the bone to prove how much he wanted her. But his mind would break, his heart would ache... And he could really only think about one person at that time. She knew from the look on his face, from the way he would recoil when Johnny's name was brought up - that Leland was only lying to himself now. She got the answers she seeked so desperately, bled Leland dry of all of his lies - and then she left him in the wind, no longer being the anchor to hold him down. Leland couldn't blame her, couldn't even hate her, because he knows in the end - he was the one who caused the most pain.

He found a small home on a farm, where his heart rested peacefully and his mind was clear. A little place that was filled with so much love, a foundation built on family and trust - a place where Leland wedged himself in the middle of it, and tried to pull it all down with his greedy hands. He clawed his way into the dynamic of the house, made himself known before destroying the beam that held it up. His heart clammed inside of him, his brain froze over - and he destroyed the lives of two people that day. He tore out the heart of the man of the house, held it in his hands - and crushed it right in front of Johnny, making it known that Leland never wanted to be there with him at all.