When The Rain Washes You Clean. (You'll Know.)

Chapter Twenty Five. (Finale.)

There's a moment where Leland can feel his heart swoop just a little bit, and it's in the way the small smile stretches on Johnny's face only momentarily - before he's taking a sip out of the beer bottle. Their eyes are still locked from the small distance between them, and it kind of gives Leland the feeling that the whole world has faded around the pair. He could only see Johnny right now; couldn't hear the thump of the music outside, or the clatter of the family and friends drunkenly moving around. And he kind of wants to live in this moment for a little bit longer, his cheeks flushing red under the gaze of Johnny's dark hazel ones - and his nerves standing on high alert, waiting to see what move is made next.

He knows he can't let himself get too in over his head on this one, Johnny only said a small hey to him and nothing more - it's not like he was confessing his undying love for Leland right now.

But fuck, Leland likes to still have some delusional fantasies run wild in his mind.

He catches the way that Johnny starts to move, and Leland's voice hitches in the back of his throat - catching his airway, as the taller man makes his way towards one of the loose hay bales. Sitting down on it in a swift movement, before taking another long sip of the alcohol and finally speaking some words towards Leland.

"I didn't think you would be in here, if I'm being honest," Johnny's voice was heaven to Leland's ears, and it was still enough to send a shiver down his spine from it, "I came in here, because they decided to play that stupid fucking Fleetwood Mac song. They know how much it pisses me off, it's why I grabbed two beers as well. Thought by the time I finished them, the song would be over." He lets a small chuckle out, and Leland's heart yearns to be closer to Johnny's own.

"It's not too bad of a song," Leland speaks a little bit hesitant, the voice of Sissy floating through the back of his mind; reminding him of what she said to him about Johnny's history to the music, "I've only heard it a couple of times, but I really don't mind Fleetwood Mac."

"I heard it not long after you left the farm," Johnny says, and he's avoiding eye contact for now - searching the walls and floors of the barn as he continues to drink his beer, "Thought I could actually relate to it a bit, so I used to play it a lot. But eventually it lost some meaning to me, and I grew sick of hearing it."

Leland can feel the small ship of anxiety start to set sail inside of him, coursing through his veins as it slowly ignites every wrecked feeling he hid away. It was going to be natural for Leland to feel this way, when he's reminded of what he actually did to this man - he just wasn't prepared for how much it could hurt; hearing the words actually come out of Johnny's mouth.

"I think I was just a little bit naïve back then," Johnny continues on, and Leland has half a mind to reach out to him - but the better half knows to stay where he was, "But what's in the past, is in the past. There's no use bringing up the old ghost stories to haunt once more, I've moved on."

It was either a sheer coincidence, or the world loved to mess with Leland just a little bit - but when Johnny finished his sentence, and his heart sank to the pit of his stomach once more; Leland could hear the music playing outside. His ears focused on the lyrics that were being sung, and he could feel the way he kind of wanted to hide his face from Johnny right now.

I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me.

It's like the guilt that he tried to burrow away in these past five years, was slowly making its return inside of him, eating away at any trace of hope and dignity that he had left to give. And he could feel the way his blood was slowly turning cold from it as well, sending a small shiver down the back of his spine - as his eyes stayed glued to the man sitting on the hay bale. He didn't know how to speak right now, what words to say that would comfort Johnny in any type of way. And he wanted to scream, wanted to shout that he never should've left the farm all that time ago. That he wishes he made a different choice where they ended up together, and none of this would still be present to haunt their lives.