The Maiden in Winter // Harry Styles Series #4

FORTY FOUR

~H~

"What are you thinking about today?"

"Time."

"Can you give me a little more to work with?"

Leigh looks tired. She lost her mother the week after Valentine's Day and we haven't spoken for nearly a month. I should be less enigmatic and give her a break.

"Yes, of course I can. I'm thinking about how time seems to move at different speeds depending on what's happening in my life. The tour seemed to fly by, until things began to fall apart towards the end, and then it dragged on and on. The first month or two here were slow, and now the days pass quickly. There's always something to look forward to."

There's her smile. It's good to see it.

"Tell me what some of those things are."

"I went to Bean's school play. It was about the fifty states. He was Maryland. It's a very strange shape. I came in after the lights went down, and went out before they came up. Stood in the back. It was fantastic. Alex and Bean have been staying every Friday and Saturday night, but it's not enough. We're going to try a school night soon. His birthday is next month. I wanted to throw a big party for him, here, but both Alex and Jeff pointed out that we shouldn't tempt fate. Things have been so quiet, hardly anyone's come poking around, and opening up the house to strangers could be a big mistake."

She's been nodding as I speak, not interrupting. She's patient, but I know she has things to say.

"I agree, you need to be careful. I saw the photo of you and your family in France. It was so blurry that it seems like a lot of people don't even believe it was you."

"Some of Alex's friends recognized her, but the rest of us were well hidden in the van. She's been great fielding questions. She never denies that she was there, but never admits that the rest of us were. She's better at it than she knows. A natural."

The right side of Leigh's mouth always lifts up the tiniest bit before she asks a certain question. It's her tell. I know what's coming.

"How does that make you feel?"

"I knew that was coming." She's laughing along with me. It's good to see her eyes look a little brighter. "I appreciate that she's willing and able to handle it now, but I worry that at some point it'll become too much. The longer I stay here the bigger the risk that they'll start coming. The press, the fans, the world. But..." She's going to make me say it. I can tell that from her face as well.

"But what?"

"But I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave them, Alex and Bean. I..."

I can't say it. If I say it it'll be real. I'll have to face it.

"You what, Harry?"

"I'm not sure I want to go back to being me."

***

~A~

"But I have to go to school tomorrow. Will the bus come get me at Harold's house?"

"No, I'll drive you to the store and you'll take the bus, just like any other day. It'll be fine."

We were at our house, packing overnight bags and feeding the cats. Harry wanted us to try staying on a school night. Harry wanted us to stay, period, but I still wasn't sure I ready for that. At least I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn't.

Moving out to Maiden Point full time was a huge risk. What if something life-altering happened? What if he took on a new movie project, or the band decided to get back together and he needed to be with them, or Caroline van der Meer came around, with her lifestyle that didn't involve a small business and small child in a small town?