Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

11

I have a concussion and was adviced to stay home for a few days now. Dad or Allen usually bring me food and sometimes Carl and my brother come over and talk to me a bit. It's fucking boring alone at home.
I've also talked to Rick and told him that I think there are much more of the Saviors out there and he seemed a bit torn. I get it but the way that lady was laughing while she said "we're all Negan" didn't sit right with me. And I don't think we've killed Negan either.
No one has come for us though. It's been quiet around Alexandria and I deeply hope it stays that way. I really don't want to get taken hostage again. As much as I loved it the first time, I want to stay here and get a few weeks of peace now. Try to heal because I look like shit. When we arrived here I had a cut along my forehead and a busted lip along with a very bruised face. One of my eyes even busted an artery and it was bloodshot red when we came home. Nothing major though. 

I wake up late, having slept about twelve hours again. It's nice sleeping so much. The days are shorter and I don't have that much time to think about everything all the time. Today's finally the day I'm allowed to go out again. I brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror again. The bruises are a deep shape of purple and blue, covering the left side of my face. My eye is still red but I'm positive it'll go away again easily.

I get dressed and start walking out of the room and down the stairs. I take a deep breath as  I walk outside and start walking around. 
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Glenn asks me from the watch post. I smile up at him, putting my hand over face to stop the sun from blinding me as I look up at him.
"Better" I say and he smiles at me.
"Glad to hear" he says and I chuckle contently.
"Have you seen my dad?" I ask and he nods.
"Yeah, he went out with Rosita and Denise"
I narrow my eyes in confusion. "Why Denise?"
Glenn shrugs. "I don't know but they should be back any time soon" 
"Thank you" I say, sharing another smile with him before I keep walking. I walk over to the pond and lay down on the grass, closing my eyes. A soft breeze blows by my head, causing a few of my hairs to swing around my face. 

I get woken up by all the shouting happening. Quickly I get up and see my dad, Rosita and Abraham carrying Eugene who seems to be bleeding and is unconcious.
"What happened?" Rick asks.
"Met some people on the way" my dad states.
"Where's Denise?" Glenn asks but no one answers. I lower my head, a tear running down my face. 

Denise was nice. I liked her. Talking to her was also cool sometimes. I wonder how we'll tell Tara when she comes back from her run. I know that they weren't together for long but they seemed like a happy couple to me. LIke they had some sort of connection I didn't understand. I haven't been in love before so I wouldn't know anyway.

I want to help my dad burrying her but he refuses. Intead he ushers me away before going silent. My dad's often like that. He doesn't like to talk so much but you get used to it over time. I guess that's why Allen and I like to talk so much. I watch him and Carol for a second, whom he allowed to stay, before I walk away. 

He doesn't talk to us when he comes home. He walks straight past us, saying he's not hungry and up into his room. Allen and I look at eachother worriedly, debating on wheter we should do anything or not but we decide on leaving him his space. My dad's someone who loves his space, so we give it to him. 
That night Allen and I have a sleepover. We haven't had one in a long time. We spend the whole night talking and laughing with eachother but also talking about what happened. We talk about Ron, we talk about Carl getting shot and I even tell him about my experience a few days ago. When I express my worry to him about Negan he doesn't say anything.
"I should've believed you. I'm sorry" he says, his head hanging low as he brushes a hand through his hair. 
"It's okay. What happened happened. We can't change it" I say with a smile. He looks at me with a guilty look as I assure him everything's fine over and over again.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, A" he says and I chuckle.
"I know. That's why I exchanged you instead of me. So you'd have dad" 
He chuckles. "You just wanted to play the hero"
We both start laughing. "Maybe"