Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

37

"Are you okay?" Carver asks me for what feels like the thousandthst time now. He hasn't been letting go of the topic and whenever he sees me, he tries to talk to me. I'm sitting on the top of the main building right now, dangling my legs over the edge. 
"Yeah" I say, turning my head to look back at him. He's stalking over to me, wearing a tight shirt and his normal jeans. I must admit, I've never seen him without the jacket and all the weapons he loves to wear all day. The shirt is clutching onto his muscles perfectly, making my knees weak by just looking at them. 
"You don't look like it" he states, making me roll my eyes with a sly grin before I look away again. Some of our people are walking around down there, doing their daily chores as I stare down at them. He hops onto the edge with ease and sits down next to me, his hands behind his body as he leans back, placing his weight on them. "You still don't want to talk about it?" he asks.
I shake my head. "No, there's nothing to talk about. My mother's dead and I couldn't care less. I loved her... I really did but- the way she let me down every time made my love for her shrink more and more each day. I shouldn't even had been able to react that way but I did and I don't even know why. My mother never did anything for me. She didn't deserve these tears" I say quietly. I suddenly feel Carver's hand on mine, making me look at him. 
A soft smile is plastered on his face as he stares at me. One forms on my face too, before I look down at my lap once again. 
"Don't you have anything to do?" I ask him.
He chuckles. "What, do you want to get rid of me?" he asks jokingly, making me giggle.
"Not at all. I'm just wondering what brings you here" I say, looking at him again. 
"I was wondering if you're okay. You've been seeming down  a little eversince we've been in your hometown and I was just making sure" he says, making me bite my lip trying to contain my grin. 
"Thank you" I say, him scratching his neck nervously before he smiles at me.
"No problem" he says as we stare into eachothers eyes. The smiles slowly fade as we get lost in eachother's eyes and in our thoughts.
"Have you ever been in love, Carv?" I ask him, his eyes widening surprisedly.
"Honestly, no. I've had some girlfriends here and there but I've never been in love" he says quietly. "You?"
I shake my head. "Me neither. There was a boy once. I liked him, I really did" I say quietly before looking at my lap, the memories of Ron resurfacing. His brown curly hair and the lovely crooked smile he wore on his face everyday until I killed him.
"What happened to him?" he asks me. 
I press my lips into a firm line. "I- I met him when I was sixteen. He was nice, his name was Ron. I really liked him until..."
"He died?" he asks as I stare at him with a guilty look.
"No, I killed him" I say and his eyes widen. 
"What?" he asks startled.
I look down. "I had to. Either that or I probably wouldn't stand here. He was about to kill people I considered family. It was my fault he had the gun in the first place" I say, feeling the guilt and sorrow once again overwhelm me. 
Carver puts his hand on my cheek, turning my head to look at him. I stare at him with my lips parted, surprised by his action. "It's okay. You protected the people you love and sometimes that takes a lot of courage"
I swallow hard as we stare into eachother's eyes once again but now it's different. It's not soft and afar now. His face is moving closer, same for mine and the look in his face is different. He stares at me as if I'm everything he's ever wanted and more. As if he has waited for me his whole life and now he's finally able to be close to me. 
"Can I kiss you?" he asks, his warm breath tickling my lips, that's how close we're already. I look at his mouth, his plumb pink lips, before looking back at his eyes. 
I nod and almost instantly his lips are on mine. Their warm and soft, making the tension in my body wash away in an instant. His lips start moving against mine, my lips following his lead and moving in sync. He grabs my face tighter, tilting my head a little, granting his tounge access to my mouth. Fireworks explode in my body as he pulls me closer to him, one hand on my hip and the other still holding my face close to his. I move even closer to him, pressing my body against his, feeling a wave of adrenaline rush through me. My veins feel on fire as I kiss him, nothing else mattering at the moment.