Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

26

Jesus' burial was beautiful. All of us each put a nail into his casket and say some words before lowering him to the ground. I wanted to get Henry out but the rules have to be obeyed. He still has one night left, said Earl.
"We're moving out" Tara says as I walk back to the house. "Searching for Alden and Luke"
I look behind her to see the new people and Marco with her. I nod at her. "Be safe"
She weakly smiles. "Always"
I smile back before continuing to walk back. I need a minute. Everything's pretty messed up now and I have a feeling that it's going to get worse. A lot worse. I haven't used my knives in a long time. Yes, I move out from time to time but I like to stay in here as much as possible. I like my life as it is at the moment and now everything we've built is on the edge. Everything we've built is going to get destroyed if we don't do it right.

When I look up again it's already dark outside again. There have been a few knocks here and there but I never answered. I need to clear my head but nothing helps.
I open the door and go outside, taking a walk around the Hilltop. I remember when we first came here. Allen thought it was so cool to finally see a cow. He was fascinated. I chuckle at the memory. And then we had to speak to Gregory. God, that man was annoying. Awful how he never stood his ground and used to be an unloyal asshole. I get why Maggie hung him. I really did but she shouldn't have. She started all of what came afterwards with that one move and caused us to loose a lot. But, it was just a matter of time until someone came to kill Negan. I only realized that later. I get it why. I would've killed Negan too if it wasn't for Carl's letter. I framed it actually. I framed it and now it's hanging in my office, reminding me of my lost friends and the promise I made him.

I furrow my brows as I see the newcomers sneaking around. Quietly, they lift the entrance to the emergency exit before each of them get inside.
"What are you doing?" I ask Yumiko and she spins around fastly. She just stares at me, clearly anticipating what she should do. I notice her hand moving for her knife.
"Don't even think about it, Yumiko" I say warningly and she moves her hand away again.
"We're searching for Luke" she says hesitantly and I nod. Of course they would. They've been moving with him for a long time now. I would do the same.
"Okay" I say and she looks at me confusedly. "You could've just told me and walked out of the front gate, you know?"
Her mouth turns into a smile, the confusion still lingering on her face. "Be safe" I say. She looks at me for a moment before nodding once and getting down into the hole. I stare at it for a moment before making my way back to the house.

I furrow my brows as I see my dad and Henry talk. By the way my dad slightely turns, he has definitely noticed me but Henry hasn't.
"You shouldn't listen to people talk" my dad says angrily. I almost chuckle at his words. After all he was the one with the idea to listen to what Henry was talking with the girl.
"Look, I know Lydia's people are bad, but that doesn't mean she's bad at all. She's just scared. You can show her there's nothing to be afraid of. You can do that. Only you" Henry says to my dad, confusing me a bit.
"No. Not just me" my dad states, shooting me a look before walking inside. Henry furrows his brows before looking at me, his eyes slightley widening.

I slowly walk up to him. "Did you listen to me talking to Lydia, too?" he asks.
"Lydia?" I ask.
"The girl" he states and I shake my head, walking up the stairs now. I motion for him to sit down next to me and he does. I hug my arms around my body tightly before looking over at him. I just can't help but still see the little boy that got kidnapped that night. The boy I felt so responsible for after that night.
"No, I didn't listen to you and her talking. Didn't want to participate in it" I say and he nods annoyedly.
"So you knew?" he asks, looking at me with an angry look.
"Hen, I'm sorry but we need to know as much as we can about her and the people she's with. They're a danger to this place"
"But she's a nice person" he says and I sigh.
"Henry, I'd like to believe that too but you've only known that girl for a few days. We don't know anything about her. She could just be using you for information"
"You don't know that" he says.
"Henry, I know. I've lost a lot of people in my life and a few of them because I made mistakes. Mistakes like this can cost lifes and believe me, you don't want it to be the people here. You don't want it to be people that are dear to you. We have children here and older people. Henry, these people here are my family and now they are also yours. You have to protect your people and you can't do that if you're being so delusional" I say annoyedly before taking a deep breath. "Henry, I'm not saying you shouldn't give her a chance. The contrary actually. I want to give her a chance too but she has to prove herself first. We can't just trust a stranger we took hostage. I hope you understand that"
"I do" he says quietly. I quietly scooch over and put my head onto his shoulder.
"I want to help" he says and I close my eyes.
"I know you do. But are you ready for it?" I ask and he stays quiet. We both do.
I feel myself getting tired, my eyes almost falling shut multiple times. Before I can fall asleep on the front porch though, I get up. I look at him for a sec, him just staring into nothingness. I sigh before walking over to the door.
"I am ready for it, Alia" he states before turning his head to look at me. His eyes are full of determination, like always.
I chuckle weakly. "I know you are. Good night, Hen" I say before moving inside.