Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

13

The doctor in Hilltop took the bullet out and said I was going to be fine. The baby's okay, too.

Nobody has really talked the past few days. We've all just sulked around for most of the time. The burrial of Glenn and Abraham went through as I stood there, literally unable to cry. Not one single tear was shed by me, no matter how much I wanted it. 

I've been trying to not think of what happened. To not think about what they're doing to my dad right now. Nobody has heard anything from the Saviors or how my dad's doing. I hope he's fine though. He has to be.

Sleeping has been a little tricky. None of us have slept a lot the past few nights. Mostly because of me. When I first got some sleep, I woke up with my throat burning and feeling as if someone had punched the air out of my lungs. When I opened my eyes, almost everyone was surrounding me. Rick, Carl, my brother and Rosita were standing in my room with guns. I didn't realize that the screaming came from me until it stopped when I closed my mouth. It has been so ever since and my brother was practically forced to sleep next to me. I can't remember any nightmares though but Sasha said it might be my subconcious, trying to forget the dreams and that's why I can't remember having them. 

Any day now Rick expects the Saviors to finally come. We've put aside half of our things like Negan wanted. Carl was against it and honestly, me too, but we can't risk anything if they still have my dad. 

I flip my knife between my fingers, watching out for any walkers or Negan. Today's my watch. Rick has finally agreed for me and Allen to get watches too. Not Carl though. He's still almost two years younger than us. He wanted to protest but it was no use. Since their dead, Maggie has chosen to stay at Hilltop. Meaning, we've got less people on watch now. 

I narrow my eyes as I see multiple vehicles approaching Alexandria. I lean over the fence, my knife still in my hand. It doesn't take my long to spot the car Negan's sitting in. He grins at me as my grip tightens around the knife. I'd be stupid to think any of this would be over if I just kill Negan now. Somebody else is only waiting on their chance and would gladly step up and take Negan's place if he died. Maybe that would give us an advantage though when we fight them. Killing Negan first, so they don't have a leader left and chaos would errupt. 

I look behind me and see Rosita arguing with Eugene. They must've heard them, too as they get out of the car and wait for him to enter. I turn back around and watch as he walks up to the gate, whistling some tune. He bangs on the gate three times with the bat.
"Little pig, little pig. Let me in!" he says in a singing voice before grinning at me. I turn my head to see Spencer opening the cover gate but not the real one. 
"Well?" Negan asks amusedly.
"Uh, who are you?" Spencer asks and I chuckle.
"Oh, you better be jokin'. Negan. Lucille. I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression" Negan says before Rick arrives. They look at eachother for a few seconds. "Do not make me have to ask"
"You said a week. You're early" Rick says.
"I missed you" Negan says with a smile before he turns around and kills a walker. He starts laughing as I take a look at everyone down there. Negan brought a lot of people here. At least thirty or fourty of his men stand here, waiting for us to let them in. My eyes linger on my dad though. Without hesitation I start crawling down the ladder and walk up to where Rick's standing.

"Alia! There you are!" Negan says but I'm focused on my dad. 
"Dad" I say, trying to get to him but Negan holds his bat out, touching my chest with it. I'm breathing hard, still only looking at my dad. His eyes are tired and they've definitely beaten him up, which is only making me even more angry. Angrily I grab Negan's bat and shove it away from me but remain standing where I am. My dad firmly nods at me and I swallow hard.
"Nope" Negan says angrily before walking forward, first looking at Rick and then at me. "You don't look at him, you don't talk to him and I don't make our little sunshine chop anything off of him"
I clench my jaw hard as I glare at him as he moves over to Rosita. "Same goes for everyone, right?"
She doesn't even look at him before she slowly stalks away. Negan starts waving his hands around like a little excited kid. "A lot of suspense there. I don't think she even knew how much. All right, let's get this show on the road. See what kind of goodies you got in the cupboard"
"We put aside half of the supplies" Rick says but Negan intervenes.
"No, Rick. No. You don't decide what we take. I do. Arat" Negan says and a woman steps forward with a gun in her hand. 
"You heard the man. Move out!" she says as everyone starts to get moving. Quickly, I move after them only to find a few people searching my house.