Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

30

Me and a few others have gathered, making our way to the meeting spot. I just walk after them with a empty look on my face.
I just lost Hilltop. 
I lost the place that made me believe it was worth fighting for. Watched as it went up in flames, everything we've worked so hard for destroyed by the Whisperers. And I don't even know if my people are still alive. Yes, a few are with me, my dad and Rosita but I have no clue where the rest of them are. This place was Jesus' and Tara's legacy. Everything the three of us have fought for destroyed by Alpha. 
Rick's legacy. 
I only snap out of my thoughts as I hear Nabila screaming where her kids are. She starts sobbing while Jerry tries to calm her down. She has been injured too, burnt herself while we were getting out.
"Spread out" my dad says, everyone moving as I stay put, staring at Nabila.
"Alia" my dad says, looking at me with a worried look. Same for Rosita. I take a last look at Nabila before walking over to my dad and Rosita. They try to talk to me but I wave them off everytime. I'm not ready to and we have better things to do right now. We walk until we reach the Hilltop again. The flames are out by now. Smoke everywhere. The walkers are all dead, lying on the floor, their blood everywhere. I stare at the place I called home, rather what's left of it. Not very much. Actually nothing. There's not a single thing that hasn't caught fire. Everything is burnt and gone to waste. 
I look to my right, seeing that Ezekiel is with us too and by the look of him he has been hiding her somewhere. 
"The kids. They're with Earl" he says before running away. We immediately follow him. We walk around what feels like forever until we finally reach a little cabin. We all look at eachother with unsure looks before my dad takes out his knife and walks towards the door. 
I let out a breath of relief as the kids come running out. I hug RJ tightly as he runs towards me, holding him close to my body.
I start crying from the relief. 
"Why are you crying, aunt Alia?" RJ asks me with a soft voice, making me smile through my tears.
"I'm just so glad you're okay" I say, pulling him close again. He giggles, making me do the same before I realize Judith's missing. 
"Is your sister in there?" I ask him and he nods. "Stay with Ezekiel" I say, before making my way inside. 
I find my dad holding Judith to his side, them sitting next to Earl's body. I press my lips together tightly before blinking the tears away. Again, not the time to show emotions. Not the time to loose focus. 
"It's okay to cry" Judith says, making me move my eyes from Earl to her. She looks at me with a sad look but no tears, my dad looking at me with an unsure look.
"Not now" I say before walking out again. 

I sit behind the barn, alone. Fidgeting with one of my knives. I throw it into the air before catching it again by the blade and moving it around between my fingers again. 
Haven't done that a long time. I didn't feel the need to. Life was good at the Hilltop. We were fed. We had a roof above our heads. Walls. Now we have nothing at all. First the Kingdom and now the Hilltop. I don't even know if we'll be able to build the Hilltop back up. If we're going to have the recources for it. The people for it...
"It's going to be okay" I hear Ezekiel say, making me look up at him. His face is still covered in dust and he looks at me weakly.
I lean my head back and chuckle sadly.
"Is it really?"
"Hilltop isn't a place. It's the people, Alia" he says before slowly bending down and sitting down next to me.
I smile at him sadly. "I know but... that place meant something to me. My family"
"I know" he says and sighs. "I know how you feel. When I lost the Kingdom I thought that everything was lost. It hurt to go and leave it behind but it was even better when we came to the Hilltop and found something new in it. New hope. We're just going to do that with Alexandria and Oceanside. And when we're ready for it, we're going to build a new place. Maybe we're even going to rebuild Hilltop" he says, making me look at him.
"You think that's possible?" I ask him, him turning his head and chuckling at me. 
"Of course it is. Everything is possible. As long as we have you as our leader" he says, making me laugh a bit. "I'm being serious, Alia. You're a great leader"
"I don't know" I mutter, looking forward again.
"He's right. You are" my dad says, suddenly standing infront of me. "You're a great leader, Alia. And you saved a lot of people back there. I'm proud of you" 
I smile at him softly before getting up. I hold my hand out for Ezekiel, pulling him up before walking towards my dad. He smiles at me and pats me onto my shoulder as we walk back to the kids and Jerry. Time after time more and more people arrive at the house we found earlier and by the time we're back with the kids a lot of the others are back. Even Magna walks back in, Jerry hugging her tightly. 

My jaw drops though as Eugene drops the bomb of a meeting. A meet point with another community and a girl he has clearly fallen in love with without even meeting her. Everybody is kind of critical towards him and rightfully so. At least he wasn't enough stupid to tell them who we are and even worse, where we are. 
I walk out in the middle of his speech and sit down outside again. 
"You okay?" I hear Henry say behind me.
I nod. "You?"
"I guess" he says jokingly, making the both of us laugh a bit.
"You worried about Lydia?" I ask him and he nods.
"Yeah but she's going to be okay" he says, making me put my arm around his shoulder. 
"Obviously" I say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, making him chuckle. When Carol had decided to move to Alexandria, Henry had decided to stay here with Ezekiel. Ezekiel's people were at Hilltop, he couldn't just leave and Carol wanted Alpha dead. The death of all our people and the fact that she tried to do the same with Henry, destroyed her a little. I haven't seen her and neither have most of us. Her and Ezekiel aren't as close anymore and when she comes she only comes for Henry. 
I lean my head onto his, smiling as I feel his warmth with my body. It could be very different now but it isn't. I wasn't able to save any of them, but I managed to safe Henry. And if I hadn't run I would be dead now, too. I know that now. Everybody has made sure to tell me as many times as they could. Making sure I know. The guilt had been eating me up at first but I've learnt how to deal with it. 
But I'll never forget. 

Ezekiel, Yumiko and Eugene leave the same hour for the meeting with that girl of Eugene's. I hug each of them goodbye, hugging Ezekiel extra tight. 
"My people listen to you now, Alia. I trust you" he says, making me smile.
I nod at him with a smile before turning around and looking at Jerry now.
"So, are we going to call you King or Queen now?" he jokes, making us laugh.
"I think Alia has a good ring to it" I state with a chuckle before leaving the two of them with eachother. 

"Where's my dad?" I ask the others as I walk back inside. 
"He went to search for Carol" Rosita says and I look at her dumbfounded.
I scoff. "And let me guess. He went alone?" I ask and she nods. I groan. Of course he would go to search for Carol without telling anybody. I get why he left but he could've asked for someone to go with him. It wouldn't have hurt. But it's not like I'm not used to my dad pulling shit like that. It's almost normal now. 

We meet him back at Alexandria though before it's on us to make a plan. And I think we've got a damn good one.