Ephemeral - Alia Dixon

36

I punch the bag even harder at the thought of Alpha and her people.

They're dead, Alia.

I know they are but my rage hasn't just vanished. I thought that I'd feel better after they're dead but I don't. I should've taken their heads with me and planted them infront of Hilltop. I should've put them onto sticks anyway just to proove my point.

"What has that bag ever done to you?" I hear Carver ask, making me stop. I turn around, seeing him standing at the entrance to the gymhall with a grin, next to him Fish and Turner. He folds his arms over his chest, his eye brows raising as he demands an answer from me.
"Exist" I say, my chest heaving up and down with heavy breaths.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks me in a soft tone as he struts over to me. Two weeks have gone by since we went to that mall and killed all these men. It has been nice here and they have accepted me. It's nice having someone to chat about certain things and, they give me a lot of space. I can tell they all like to have their space and therefore, give me mine.
"Just a few people" I state, taking the bandages off my hands, wincing as I pull them off my wounds. Carver gives Fish and Turner a look, causing them to walk out of the room and leave the two of us alone. He knows I'll open up even less if they're with us, so he sent them away.
"Who?" he asks, walking over to me. He takes my hands in his in a quick motion, making me look at him confusedly for a second. Sure, we've talked a lot these past weeks but we've never been this close. He probably knows I'm staring but his face shows no sign of it as he examines my hands. He looks at them carefully before suddenly letting go and looking down on me. His eyes peer into my soul as I look back at him, my knees feeling a little weak.

He grins. "Come on, I'll get you fixed" he says before he starts walking. I roll my eyes as I start walking behind him. I take another look at my hands. My knuckles are bleeding and probably going to be bruised from all the punching I've done.
We arrive at the infirmary and Carver motions for me to sit down on one of the chairs. I hesitantly walk over and sit down, looking around a little. They have plenty of medicine and stuff here. He walks over with a few things and a chair before sitting down infront of me. Our knees touch as he sits down, making a shiver run down my spine at the little contact. He grabs my hands with his again and lays them onto his lap, me staring at his face.
"Who were you thinking of?" he asks me again as he starts disinfecting my wounds. I look to the side.
"The people who killed my people" I state and turn my head again. I watch as his face goes soft, his attention never leaving my hands though.
"Are they still out there?" he asks and I shake my head, watching him like an eagle. He looks concentrated, as if they would break if he's too rough with them.
"No, they aren't" I say and he looks at me confusedly.
"Are they dead?"
I nod.
"Did you kill them?"
I nod again.
"Did you kill them on your own?" he asks.
"No. A few others had survived too and we went to kill them together. They got killed in the process" I lie. He looks at me with a sad look.
"I'm sorry" he says, making me smile softly at his kindness.
"Don't be. They're dead," I say before looking to the side again. "I just regret not making them suffer before they died. At least not more than they already did" I say, him stopping what he's doing and looking at me. Our lips are only inches apart, making me grow anxious.
He lets go of my hands and gets up again. I watch with eager eyes as he walks over to one of the shelves and grabs a bandage. His eyes meet mine as he walks over and sits down again.
"I thought you aren't a person who holds grudges" he says in an asking tone.
I chuckle venumously. "Normally, no. But what they've done is unforgivable. Planting my people's heads on sticks to mark the north border to their land was sick," I say, looking down at my lap as his eyes search for mine. "That's how I got the bite. I saved my little brother from his fate and got bitten in the process. I couldn't save the others" I say, my voice breaking.
He looks at me with a sad look. "I'm so sorry, Alia" he says softly and quietly.
"Stop saying your sorry" I say angrily before noticing that it's not fair to let it out on him. "please" I add softly.
He nods. "Okay, I can do that" he says, making me smile at him sadly.
He licks his lips nervously as we stare at eachother. I can tell he has no clue what to say to me right now which almost makes me laugh outloud. "I'm here if you need anything"
I smile. "I know" I say, causing the both of us to grin. He shoves the chair back before holding a hand out for me. I grin and shake my head as he pulls me up before putting both the chairs back to their usual place.
"We're going out today" he states as I walk towards the door. I turn around again.
"Where are we going?" I ask him.
He shrugs. "Don't know. Leah is the leader here for our group. We'll be away a little longer though. It's gonna take a few days"
I nod. "Okay. See you later?" I say, it acidentally sounding like a question.
He softly smiles. "See you later" he says, making me smile too before I hesitantly walk away. I leave Carver behind me, my body already betraying me by wanting to go back to him.
I like him, I can't deny that. I definitely can't.