Kavita's Submission [COMPLETED]

Chapter 17

Kavita's POV

Sitting on the floor of the temple, I look at the surrounding, trying to feel something, anything, within me.

But there is nothing at all.

Just an empty void sucking at my insides, making me feel the gut-wrenching pain at one time, and the other time, just leaving me with emptiness.

It has been twenty days since maa passed away.

From that moment, I feel like everything has changed, but at the same time, it feels nothing has changed too. If that even makes any sense.

Perhaps it's because I have changed, but the people around me are still the same.

Maaji still taunts me at every small thing, Pitaji still glares at me, Sameerji still does not give two hoots about me.

Yes, he does pretend to care nowadays.

He asks me if I ate properly, asks me how my day was, shares the details of his day with me, and he even has allowed me to sleep in his room at nights.

And all the fake effort that he has been showing, saddens me rather than making me hopeful.

It saddens me because if he had shown even one percent of this care in the beginning, if he had made me feel like his wife, had understood me and my feelings rather than using my body, I feel my life would have been very different from how it is now.

From life, all I have ever wanted is love and happiness, but I had no idea how hard it is to get these two simple things in life.

When I used to talk with maa about this, she used to say, all a woman needs to be is obedient and submissive to her family, and in return, she will get all the love, bringing her a whole lot of happiness.

I did believe each word of her.

That is why, growing up, all I have ever been is a good, obedient daughter. Trying my best not to cross any lines that I should not, doing everything I can to apologize for the mistakes I made and rectify them, even when I made them unknowingly.

And after getting married and going to Sameerji's house too, all I ever did was try my best to become an obedient wife and daughter-in-law. Because I thought that would get me the love and happiness from everyone here, especially my husband.

But now, I have realized it is not this simple.

I look up at the sky, hoping maa is there, watching over me. This is all I have left of her, after all. Some of her precious memories, the last letter she sent for me, and a hope that she is somewhere up there. A belief that makes me feel her and talk with her even though I cannot see her or meet her.

"Aap iss mamle mein thodi galat hogayin, maa. Aap ne jaise kaha maine waise kiya. Sab kuch achchhe se karne ki koshish ki. Achchhi patni, achchhi bahu sab bann ne ki bharpur koshish ki. Lekin badle mein mujhe pyaar aur khushi ki jagah sirf tiraskaar aur gham hi miley. Kyun, maa? Aisa kyun?" I ask, looking up at the sky.

"Aisa nahi hota, Kavitaji."

I get startled when I hear the voice and immediately turn around, surprised at seeing Anirudhji standing behind me.

"Aap kab aaye?"

"Abhi abhi aaya hoon. Aap shayad apni maa se baat kar rahi thi. Main tokna nahi chahta tha. Par aapka sawaal sunn ke khud ko rok nahi paya."

"Matlab?" I ask.

"Jo aapne sawaal kiya, woh galat tha," he says, making me frown.

"Saaf saaf bataiyye, Anirudhji," I say to him as he sits beside me.