Resurgent

Chapter 17

After walking around the shops with Tobias, I finally have some suitable clothing. I change into a black, v-neck t-shirt and black jeans. I pull a black, heavy coat over my shoulders to block out the cold. After stepping out of the bath room at one of the stores, Tobias laughs.

"Even when you can't remember Dauntless, you still manage to dress like them." He says, looking at my outfit from head to toe.

"Maybe I'm remembering more than we know."

We leave the store and head to my Med Room to meet Caleb, Cara, and Matthew. They said that even though they aren't putting any serums in me, my brain function still needs to be monitored every so often. They just want to track my progress, I guess. We walk on the busy sidewalk, carrying on a light conversation here and there. It is a different dynamic, being with Tobias, than it is with Peter, but I like it. Our silences aren't awkward and he never makes me feel uncomfortable with crude comments. I feel...secure with him. I can tell that he honestly respects me and because of that, I respect him.

"Why aren't you at work today?" I ask, not sure of how I knew he has a job.

"You are more important." He replies quietly, without hesitation.

I don't respond because I know I don't need to. Just being with each other seems to be enough.

We finally arrive at the building and enter it. When we walk into the room, everyone is already waiting for us...including Peter and Christina.

"Wow, look. The two love birds finally decided to show up." Peter snidely remarks.

"Tris!" Christina runs to me and gives me a hug. I tense up. "Oh, sorry, I forgot you're still not a 'touchy-feely' kinda person."

"She sure was when we were together." Peters smirks and looks purposely at Tobias, whose jaw clenches tightly. My cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. I brush my hand on Tobias's arm to snap him out of his angry haze. "You've really already moved on, babe? But I thought we had something special."

"Shut up!" Christina whips around and yells at Peter. "She's already confused, and she doesn't need you making it worse! You never dated her and never will, so just back off, okay? I'm sick of it! You're disgusting. Just leave, you creep. No one even wants you here so just go ahead and—"

"Christina," I quietly say as I touch her shoulder from behind.

"No, no I get it." Peter says as he puts his hands up in a surrendering manner. "No one likes me. No big deal. I'll just be leaving now." He gets up from my medical bed and walks towards the door. He tries to act nonchalant, but I can tell that her words hurt him. Even though I am horrified by the fact that he might not actually be my boyfriend, I still feel sorry for him.

"Peter, wait," I say, lightly grabbing his arm.

He turns around and smiles. "It was fun while it lasted, babe."

"No. Just stay and—"

"Tris, let him leave. He doesn't deserve to be here." Tobias says, moving my hand off of Peter, who walks out the door.

When he's gone, there is an uncomfortable silence filling the room.

"He didn't need to leave." I say coldly, staring blankly at the wall ahead of me.

"Tris, he pretended to be your boyfriend. He took advantage of your memory loss and pretended that you two were in love." Tobias gently places his hands on my shoulders and turns me toward him, looking me directly in the eyes. "In love, Tris. Does that freak you out even a little bit?"

"Are you actually worried about me being safe from a 'creep' or are you just jealous?" I angrily snap. "You're just mad because I chose to hang out with Peter yesterday instead of you! You're jealous that I made out with him several times, spent the night at his house, and slept in his clothes." I bite the inside of my bottom lip so hard I can taste my blood. I know I said too much and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Now that I said everything at once, I realize how incredibly disgusting Peter's actions were. My face turns red from embarrassment. I feel like such a fool for thinking I once loved him.

Tobias sighs as he looks down at the ground, letting his hands drop heavily to his side. "Guys, can we have a minute alone please?"

Cara, Matthew, Christina, and Caleb all quietly shuffle out of the room. On his way out, Caleb turns around and eyes Tobias, then looks me. I nod twice to reassure him that I will be okay. After the door clicks shut, we are alone. I shift my body to make up for the uncomfortable silence. Tobias continues to stare at the floor. I stare directly at him, trying to figure out what to say.

"It was a mistake." I mumble in a very low, quiet tone.

"What?" Tobias says, lifting his eyes to finally meet mine.

"It was a mistake." I repeat, this time in a louder voice. "I was dumb for ever believing Peter. I was dumb for not choosing to spend the day with you. I was dumb for thinking I would remember anything by now." I feel hot tears trickle down my cheeks. In a failed attempt, I quickly try to wipe them away.

"Stop," Tobias takes a step towards me, leaving only about a foot distance between us. "I shouldn't have expected so much from you. I am trying so hard to understand what this must be like for you, but it's hard. You've always been so strong fighting the simulations, I just assumed this would be easy for you to fight as well, but I'm slowly realizing it's not the same. This is a harder battle. I...I am trying, Tris. I keep asking you to trust me, but that's unfair when I haven't fully trusted you. I'm really trying to now, though."

His calm words and sincere eyes make my heart ache with familiarity and longing, like the feeling you get when a certain scent reminds you of a warm, distant memory. I feel as though if I sit in this moment long enough, everything I need to remember will come rushing back. I know this is only wishful thinking, though. Without fully considering my actions, I step in and place my hand on Tobias's arm, who then slides both his hands on my waist. I stand on my tiptoes and place my lips softly on his. In just this moment, everything seems okay.

"You're brilliant, you know that?" I smile and look up at him.

Tobias shakes his head, returning my smile. "You've told me that before."